Forgotten
by NuttyGirl
Summary: A young girl seeks out the A-Team to help rescue her mother. Murdock says he remembers her but does he? *Warning* Death of a main character.
1. Prologue

PROLOUGE  
  
The young girl waited in the diner. The blue Formica tables were cracked and there was a distinct smell of stale coffee in the air but other than that, it was a comfortable enough place to be.  
  
She drummed her fingers idly on the tabletop not even aware that she was doing it. Her nails were bitten and uneven; a sign of the effect that the events of the last few days had had on her. There was a dishevelled look about her and people who met her could have been forgiven for thinking that this was the way she normally looked. On the contrary, this couldn't have been further from the truth; usually she prided herself on her appearance. She wasn't a stunning beauty but she was pretty.  
  
Her blond hair hung down to her shoulders and was cut in the latest style but instead of being thick and full as it usually was it hung lank and uncombed. Her blue eyes normally sparkling with cheerfulness and just a hint of mischief were today dull and red-rimmed from crying. She wore a blue denim shirt that was rumpled and missing a button. Altogether, she looked nervous, troubled and dishevelled.  
  
It was 8:45 am and she was early, the people she was there to meet weren't supposed to arrive until nine but she'd been here ever since the diner opened at seven. A whole hour and forty-five minutes spent just waiting, five cups of coffee drunk and one slice of toast eaten. It was all she had been able to bring herself to have, she was too tense to eat anything else but she'd known that she had to eat something or she would have fainted.  
  
The door opened and she looked up instantly to see who had entered. An elderly couple shuffled in and took a booth on the other side of the room to her. She forced herself to relax they weren't the people she'd come to see. In all her twenty years of life, the only time she could remember feeling such a mixture of emotions had been when at age eight her father had died whilst fighting in the Vietnam War. That had been a dark, grim time and was something she never wanted to go through again.  
  
Her name was Katherine but no one ever called her that at least not anymore. The last person to call her by her full name was her father. Since he'd died, no one had ever called her that and she now went by Katie.  
  
Around the diner were pictures, images of a sunny beach, the LA skyline at night, even one of Elvis Presley. The whole place reminded Katie of her childhood, Saturday afternoons were often spent in a diner very much like this one. Katie, her mother and her father would all crowd into a booth talking and laughing over the week's events. Even as the image rose in her mind, she knew that it was wrong; a fourth person had been present.  
  
Katie frowned wondering if all the coffee hadn't made her a little delusional. She'd had no brothers or sisters and the Saturday afternoon diner trips were strictly a family deal so friends hardly ever accompanied them. So why was she thinking that a fourth person had been there, a thought rose unbidden in Katie's mind. Tiger. She pushed it away immediately, it made no sense and she didn't have time to ponder over things that didn't make sense. She signalled for the waitress and the woman approached the table chewing bubble gum. She had her dyed blond hair pulled back with an elastic band and she was wearing a bright pink lipstick that clashed with her rose red uniform. A badge announced that her name was Candy and she looked to be a few years older than Katie.  
  
The waitress blew a bubble and popped it as she waited for the girl to give her order. 'Coffee again sugar?' Candy asked when the girl didn't say anything after a minute.  
  
The girl shook her head and the waitress suppressed the urge to faint to the floor in surprise. In the hour and three quarters, that the kid had been here she'd drank numerous cups of coffee and one slice of toast. Candy wouldn't have been surprised if the girl had started bouncing off the walls. Heck, if nothing else, maybe it would liven up the place, the diner certainly needed it. Candy wondered again how she'd ended up here. It wasn't supposed to go this way, she was supposed to get a job modelling but then again LA hadn't been exactly what she'd thought it would be.  
  
'I'll have tea, please.' The girl answered and Candy jotted it down on her notepad. 'Anything else with that, hun?'  
  
'No, that'll be all thanks.'  
  
'Coming right up.' Candy told her and putting her notepad in her pocket, she wondered what it was that had caused this kid to end up in this place in the state that she was. Something had her worried and worried bad.  
  
The door opened and three men stepped in. Katie's head jerked up from where she'd been studying her bitten nails with disinterest. She knew the instant that she saw them that they were the ones. She recognised all three of them from her dad's photograph, the photograph that was now in the back pocket of her jeans. These three men had been giving her the run- around all week. She'd been following instructions; turning up for meetings and no one had been there to meet her. But now, now they were really here, after all this waiting, after nearly giving up hope; they'd turned up.  
  
The first to enter the diner was a tall, distinguished man with white hair and a manner about him that suggested he was someone who liked to take charge. His thumbs were hooked in the back pockets of his jeans. From her dad's photo Katie could identify him as one Colonel Hannibal Smith.  
  
The man that entered behind him was younger, very handsome with blond hair and Katie saw Candy stare at him longingly from her place behind the counter. Katie knew that this man was Lieutenant Templeton Peck; otherwise known as Face.  
  
The last man to enter was a tall, well-muscled black man with an array of jewellery around his neck and rings on every one of his fingers. This was Sergeant BA Barracus. The fourth man Captain HM Murdock wasn't with them and Katie felt an unexpected twinge of regret and unease at this. An image started to form in her mind but she pushed it away and made herself concentrate on the matter at hand.  
  
'Can I get you guys anything?' Candy asked her eyes wandering all over Face. The young man fixed her with a wide, friendly smile. Candy returned it.  
  
The Colonel nodded. 'Two coffees and a glass of milk would do just fine, ma'am.' Candy nodded and hurried away to fix the order. BA tugged on Hannibal's sleeve and inclined his head towards the booth where Katie was waiting wondering whether she should just leave and not bother to speak to them. Too late, they were heading right for her table.  
  
'Katie Anderson?' Hannibal asked and Katie managed a nod. Hannibal intimidated her a little. Hannibal and BA took the seat across from her and Face sat down beside her. She realised that her hands were shaking and fought to control them.  
  
'There's no need to be worried kid, we're here to help you.' Face said gently evidently noticing her nervous state.  
  
'I, I didn't know if you'd be able to show up. I know it's been a long time but you all knew my dad and I thought maybe you could help me.'  
  
'We were sorry to lose your father, Katie and anything that we can do for Tony's daughter we will.' Hannibal said gravely.  
  
'I understand that you were all at the funeral; you'll have to forgive me if I don't remember you. I was only eight and I wasn't exactly aware of much that was going on.'  
  
'Understandable.' The Colonel answered. 'What can we do for you?'  
  
'Yeah, you kinda young to be in much trouble, little mama.' BA Baracus finally spoke up; he had been regarding her intently since he had sat down.  
  
'I'll be twenty-one in three months time but to answer your question; my mother's the one whose in trouble. She's been kidnapped and it's all because of my lunatic of a step-father.'  
  
'Yes I had heard that she'd remarried.' Hannibal said with a touch of distaste in his voice, he obviously didn't agree with her mother's choice of husband the second time around.  
  
Katie nodded. 'He's not been a wonderful husband certainly nothing like my father. He lost his job and started drinking heavily about a year after she married him. He always treated me as if I wasn't really a part of his family.  
  
He's got himself in some pretty shady deals trying to get some money and this last one was the worst. My mom actually threw him out a few months ago, then two days ago, I came home, and she wasn't there. There were signs of a struggle and they left a note.' Katie paused and reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, she handed it to Hannibal who read it before handing it to BA. 'They want money in return for her safekeeping; they're obviously prepared to kill her if their demands aren't met.  
  
The colonel was about to speak when Candy arrived with their drinks. He waited until she'd gone which was longer than it should have been due to Candy's obvious interest in Face. Finally, he looked at Katie. 'Do you have any idea where he might have taken her?' He asked sipping at his coffee.  
  
'A friend of his, old gambling buddy, had an apartment in San Diego. If they were going to take her anywhere, I would say there. As you can see from the note, he's obviously got himself in deep. I tried to get hold of him but I can't find him and then I thought about you guys, I'd heard Mom speak about you helping people. I need your help here and I want you to know that I'm willing to pay whatever price you suggest, just help me to get her back.'  
  
Hannibal nodded thoughtfully as he sipped his coffee. 'You don't need to pay us anything, you and your mother are old friends of ours and I'm not prepared to take money from my friends especially when they can't really afford to give it in the first place.'  
  
'Does that mean you'll help me?' Katie asked hopefully and her blue eyes sparkled with grateful tears.  
  
Hannibal grinned at her. 'Oh we'll help you Katie there's no question about it. I don't think even Face would be willing to argue against this one. BA, what do you think?'  
  
'Don't you worry we'll get that mud sucker and get him good.'  
  
'Face?' Hannibal asked looking at the lieutenant.  
  
Face hesitated, saw the look in BA's eye and smiled charmingly. 'Oh I think we can arrange something.'  
  
'Thank you.' Katie managed. 'I've been so worried, if you weren't going to help me then I don't know what I would have done.' She ran a hand through her hair. 'So what now?'  
  
Hannibal pulled a paper napkin out of its holder and looked at Katie. 'Got a pen?'  
  
Katie reached into her purse and handed him a pen. 'Here.'  
  
'Thanks, now I'm going to write down an address and a time.' His voice dropped an octave and he leaned in closer. 'You understand our predicament so you understand that if you're not there at this time we'll have to leave and contact you later.'  
  
Katie nodded. 'I understand.'  
  
'Good. Memorise the address and then burn this, I don't want anyone overhearing me telling you the address and I don't want anyone finding this by accident, got it?'  
  
'Got it, what then?'  
  
'We've got one other of our team to assemble and then we'll decide where to go from there.'  
  
'I don't see why we have to have that crazy fool with us anyway.' BA grumbled in an annoyed tone. 'We don't have to fly anywhere so why do we need a pilot?'  
  
'Now BA.' Hannibal admonished in a low tone. 'Murdock is as much a part of this team as you are. It doesn't matter that we're not flying he should be with us.'  
  
'Just as long as I don't have to fly.' BA growled.  
  
'I promise, no flying.' Hannibal told him soothingly. 'Now, Katie meet us at this address.' He handed her the paper napkin and she looked at it for a minute committing the address to memory.  
  
'I'll be there Colonel.'  
  
Hannibal nodded and then got to his feet. 'Until then be careful.' He held out his hand for her to shake. 'Congratulations kid, you just hired the A-Team.'  
  
She stayed sitting as the three men left the diner. She stared at the piece of paper for a moment before putting it in her the pocket of her jeans with the photo of the A-Team. Her eyes were drawn to the man in the middle, tall and lean, he had blond hair. Still the picture didn't seem right, it never did no matter how hard she looked at the man called Murdock he never seemed right in that uniform. She shook her head; no doubt, the answer would reveal itself in time. 


	2. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

Face approached the VA with apprehension; the mental hospital where Murdock lived when not on missions with the team was quiet.  This wasn't unusual but all the same, it would be better to break Murdock out if the place was busy.  Less people around to notice that one of their number had gone missing.  Of course, residents and staff should be quite used to Murdock vanishing from time to time by now but for some reason they never seemed to be happy about it.

Of course, that wasn't the only reason why the lieutenant was feeling a little uneasy.  Hannibal had specifically told him that he was under no circumstances to tell Murdock that it was Katie they were helping.  Face understood he'd seen the look on Katie's face when Murdock's name had been mentioned.  It had been one of concern and confusion; she apparently didn't remember him anymore than she remembered the rest of them.  That was worrying.

Hannibal had said that at this stage Murdock knowing about Katie could make things worse when he actually saw her, Face wasn't sure whether it would make any difference.  Murdock was sure to be hurt whether he knew that she'd forgotten him before or after they saw each other again.

Face walked down the hallway to Murdock's room hoping it wasn't going to be too hard to get the pilot out of this place.  He straightened the white coat he was wearing and then knocked on the door pausing for a moment before entering the room.

 Murdock was lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling.  Face sighed inwardly, he hoped that Murdock wasn't having one of his days, as much as he cared about the guy sometimes even he got a little exasperated when Murdock went into one of his crazy moods, not that the guy ever had moods that weren't crazy.  It was just that there were varying degrees of crazy and this looked to be one of those times that were worse than others.  That meant it would be bad for Murdock and bad for Katie.

'Hey Faceman.'  Murdock said lazily.  'See Billy said he'd be by today.'  He reached out and stroked the head of his imaginary dog.

'Ok, Murdock we've got a mission, time to go.'  

'What is it this time, can Billy come?'  The pilot was obviously eager to get out of the hospital, Face didn't blame him personally he thought that even a week in this place was enough to make a sane person go nuts.

'Young girl, her mother's been kidnapped.  I guess Billy can come, if he's good.'

Murdock's face lit up and he sat up.  'You hear that Billy, you can come with us.'  He stood up and waited for a moment.  As soon as he 'saw' Billy jump down from the bed, he joined Face by the door.  'So what do I have to do?'

'Just follow me and agree with whatever I say.'

Murdock nodded and fell into step with Murdock.  They were nearly at the exit when a nurse apprehended them.  'Excuse me, sir would you mind telling me where you're taking Captain Murdock?'  

Face turned on his most charming smile.  'Of course, I'm Captain Murdock's new psychiatrist.  I'm taking him for evaluation.'

'But he already has a psychiatrist.' The nurse protested and Face decided it was time to speed things up a bit.  Before he could start, Murdock chipped in.

'The doc's taking me and Billy to the park, Nancy, want to come?'  He smiled a large wide grin at her.  'There's going to be ice cream, ain't that right Doc?'

The nurse smiled indulgently.  'I'm sorry Captain but I'm still on duty.  Doctor, may I speak with you a moment.'  The nurse, Nancy, pulled Face aside.  'I don't remember receiving any notice that you were coming by, I don't see why his normal doctor can't see him.'

Face smiled again and Nancy immediately smiled back.  'You didn't receive our fax?'  He asked innocently.  'It was all arranged, I'm conducting some new tests, his doctor here is aware of the situation I'm sure if you talked to him…' Face smiled again.

Nancy blushed and Face knew he almost had her.  He tried one more pitch.  'Look at him, he's so looking forward to taking his dog to the park, poor man, he's going to be so crushed when he finds out that he can't have ice cream.'  Face shook his head sadly.  'Oh well, I suppose there's no hope for him to get well.  I mean, you do have rules here after all and I quite understand why you can't let me take him but it's going to break his heart.'

Nancy paused not saying anything just looking at Murdock who was squatted down talking to Billy telling him all about the forthcoming trip to the park.  Face had to admit Murdock really was putting on a good performance.

'I don't know, I can't just let you leave, I'll have to speak to my superior about this.'

'Of course.'

'Can we go yet Doc?'  Murdock called.  'Billy wants to play ball.'  He looked carefully at Face and the nurse.  'We can go can't we? Billy was really looking forward to it.'  He turned on the puppy dog expression and made his brown eyes look sad and large.  His lower lip pushed out in a pout.

That was all it took, Nancy looked at Face. 'Have him back in time for dinner Doctor.'  She told him smiling shyly at him.

'Of course.'  Face told her treating her to another one of his smiles.  He walked over to Murdock.  'Lets go, Captain.'

Murdock waved goodbye to Nancy who waved back and the two men and the invisible dog hurried out of there as fast as they could without looking as if they were escaping.

In the car, Face breathed a sigh of relief.  'That was a close one Murdock, I thought she wasn't going to let you go for a moment there.'

'She's always had a soft spot for Billy.'  Murdock told him nonchalantly.

Face smiled.  'Soft spot for you most like.'

Murdock smiled smugly.  'Maybe.'  He turned his baseball cap around backwards and smiled.  'I do have the charm, they can't resist me.'  He gave Face one of his quirky smiles and Face laughed; he couldn't help himself.  Maybe this mission wasn't going to be so bad after all.

*** 

Face drove his car into the garage that he'd rented for the team to use.  Hannibal and BA were waiting by the van and Face could just make out Katie's blond head behind BA.

Face and Murdock got out of the car and walked across to the van.  Katie appeared from behind BA looking a little better than she had earlier on that morning.  Murdock had been making sure Billy was following him and now he looked up.  His eyes met Katie's and Face saw his eyes light up.  Murdock ran forward and grabbed Katie hugging her tightly.  The girl looked shocked by the greeting.

'Katie.'  Murdock cried in delight.  'God you're so big! So grown up!'

Katie smiled back at him.  'I'm sorry, have we met before?  Oh, of course, we must have you were at the funeral.'

Murdock's face fell and the light in his eyes died abruptly.  Face felt the first inklings of disquiet in his stomach at the expression on the pilot's face.  'You don't remember me?'  He asked so quietly Face almost didn't hear him.  He looked bewildered.

'No, I'm sorry I don't.  Well, apart from this picture, I don't really remember the funeral which is when we must have met.'  She pulled a picture out of her back pocket and gave it to Murdock who studied it intently before handing it back to her.

This was worse than Face or even Hannibal had thought.  Murdock looked as if his world had just come to an end.

Billy was all but forgotten now as Murdock stared at the young girl standing in front of him.  'You don't remember, how can you not remember?'  His voice was strained and Face couldn't remember ever having seen the pilot this way since they'd come out of Vietnam.

'It's all kind of a blur, I don't really remember much about it.'  Katie said obviously bothered by Murdock's reaction to her.  But that wasn't all, Face could see something else in her eyes, almost as if she did remember something but didn't want to.

'I'm not talking about the funeral.'  Murdock snapped in anger and frustration.  'I'm talking about before that, you must remember, every Saturday we'd go to Fat Harry's diner.  All four of us, your mom, your dad, you and me.  You always had ice cream, always, even if you didn't eat anything else you'd always have ice cream and your mom would argue with your dad over it because she said it wasn't healthy.  Sometimes we'd share one and you let me have the marshmallows.  You have to remember that!'

'No, I'm sorry but I don't.  I remember going to the diner on Saturdays but it was always a family thing, there was never anyone else there.'  It was as if she'd suddenly built up a brick wall between her and Murdock, blocking out all the things he was telling her.  

Murdock shook his head in disbelief and Hannibal stepped in.  'Murdock, why don't we worry about this later?  Has Face briefed you on the mission yet?'  He laid a hand on the man's shoulder but Murdock pulled away.

'No!  She has to remember; you can't just forget it when someone is around you nearly every day for months at a time.  I flew with your Dad for a while, we fought in 'Nam together, he said I was practically a member of your family.  Why can't you remember?'  

His tone was desperate and Face felt for him.  It was obviously important to him that Katie should remember who he was but she didn't and wasn't prepared to.  Now it meant that Murdock's presence on this mission could become a problem.  If he was worrying about Katie and not the mission, it might become dangerous.  For all of them.

Hannibal spoke again and when he did, it was in a soothing but resolved tone.  'Murdock, we can discuss it later, right now we have a mission to concentrate on and that is the most important thing.'

Murdock looked down at the floor avoiding the colonel's gaze; instead, he focused on the blue and white high top sneakers that he always wore.  'Sure.'  He said quietly and Face was glad that some of the earlier anger had gone; it made him nervous to see his friend act that way.  It wasn't in Murdock's nature to be like that.  Not unless BA really bothered him or he was fighting one of the bad guys.  He almost never spoke to Hannibal in the manner he'd used earlier. 

'So, how far did Face get on briefing you?' 

Murdock looked up now but carefully, avoiding looking at Katie.  'He said we had to help this kid out, her mom's been kidnapped because of some bad debts her stepfather's got himself into.  That was pretty much it.'  He obviously hadn't connected the dots yet; he was still too upset to be thinking clearly.

'It's not just bad debts.'  Katie spoke up.  'I think it runs deeper than that but I'm not sure how far.'

Murdock swung round his eyes boring into Katie's; there was a sense of urgency about him.  'Your mom, Karen?  She's the one who's in trouble?'  He asked and Face saw an expression of remorse and strangely, guilt cross his face.

'Yes, my mom and I'll do all I can to get her back.'

'Whatever I can do, whatever, I'll do it Katie.  I'm not going to let anything happen to her, I wouldn't, not to her and not to you, I promised your dad.'

Murdock, usually the one who was making the jokes, being the crazy one of the group was being serious, frighteningly so.  In fact, Face thought, he almost looked sane, the humour and even the frustration at Katie not remembering him was gone now replaced with a sense of necessity.  

Murdock looked at Hannibal.  'What's the plan?'  He asked and Hannibal grinned that same old grin, the one that reached up to his eyes making them sparkle.  The one that meant that he was 'on the jazz' and very soon there was going to be some action and the bad guys were going to pay.


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Murdock sat in his usual seat in BA's van and patted his legs for Billy to jump up.  The dog just sat there staring at him.

'What's the matter, boy?  Come on Billy, come here.'  He coaxed.  Billy just tilted his head to the side and regarded him with large, soft eyes.  Murdock closed his own eyes and gave up.  Nothing was going right today, he'd thought that when Face had shown up everything was going to be all right, that it would be a good day.  So far he'd been wrong and now to make it worse his dog wasn't even going to be the comfort that he needed right now.

The door on his left side opened and opening one eye, Murdock saw Katie get in.  She sank down into the seat next to him with a sigh.  She was carrying a plastic bag with a picture of a large yellow smiley face on it.  Smiley's Convenience Store was written across it in large red lettering.  

'Murdock?' She asked carefully, clearly she was still wary of him.  That hurt more than anything that he could scare like that, he'd known her since before she could walk and had adored her as if she was the niece that he'd never had.  She was his best friend's daughter but now she didn't remember him and he had a new best friend, his old one long since dead.

'Yeah?'  He said afraid to open his eyes and look at her.  He didn't want to see that look of fear and confusion that had been there earlier.  Why did things have to change and why when they changed did they always have to change for the worse.

'I bought some biscuits for Billy.'  He opened his eyes fully now and looked at her in surprise, maybe she remembered Billy; if she did that at least would be a starting point.  He regarded her carefully trying to gage whether or not she was serious.  She handed him a packet of dog biscuits and he took them.

'Thanks.'  He said and allowed a small smile to escape his lips.  Billy licked his lips hungrily and Murdock laughed.  'Wait a minute Billy, I have to get 'em open first.'  The dog approached him nosing around the bag obviously eager for food.

'Hope you're not thinking of dropping them all over the floor of my van.'  BA growled appearing from nowhere.

Murdock sighed dramatically.  'Oh BA, they won't go on the floor, how can they go on the floor if Billy eats them.'  He shook his head at the big man; sometimes BA could be really dumb.

'For the last time, there is no Billy; you're feeding empty air.  Billy don't exist, he's a figment of your crazy fool imagination and I don't want to hear no more about him and if I catch you feeding him in my van then you'll pay.'

Katie looked up at BA innocently.  'How can he feed him if Billy doesn't exist?'  

Murdock grinned.  'See, you do believe he's real.'  He announced triumphantly to BA who just glowered in return.

'There is no dog there; I don't believe he exists because he don't exist.  I find anything on this floor that don't belong here and you'll regret it crazy man.'

Murdock glared at BA and BA glared back.  After a moment, Katie shook her head.  'Look, let's just feed him outside Murdock, I don't think Billy'll mind just so long as he gets fed.'

Murdock nodded and moved over to the door on Katie's side, away from BA.  He looked back at Billy.  'Come here Billy, BA don't want you in his van so you're going to have to be fed out here in the cold and the rain, you'll probably catch your death out here.  You'll catch a cold and sneeze all over BA's upholstery.

BA rolled his eyes but Katie caught just a hint of smile. 'It's not raining, fool, it's warm as toast and there ain't anyone who's going to catch cold out here let alone a dog that's not real.'

Katie moved and sat next Murdock.  'Can I feed him?'  She asked almost shyly.

Murdock smiled at her, glad to see that she seemed to have forgiven him for his earlier outburst.  'Sure you can.'  He handed her some of the biscuits.  'Just drop them on the floor and he'll eat 'em up.'

Katie did as he had said and the biscuits remained where they were on the floor.  She looked over at Murdock.  'I think he likes them.'  She said seriously.

'Yeah, you do don't you boy.'  He said stroking the dog's soft head.  'Yeah, they taste real good don't they Billy?  Yeah he likes them.'  

'Good because I'd hate to have him mad at me as well.'

Murdock was dismayed; he hadn't meant to make her think he was angry with her for forgetting.  'I'm not mad at you; I mean I'm mad but only in the crazy sense, not in the angry sense.  My shrink's been helping me channel my anger, he says I've got issues, he thinks I should relax more.'

Katie laughed pleasantly.  'I think maybe you should get a new shrink.'

Murdock was about to make a remark when Hannibal and Face returned to the van.  'Did you get food?'  Murdock pestered eagerly; he was hungry, nearly hungry enough to eat the dog biscuits.  Hmm, they did look kinda yummy.

'Sorry Murdock, this was a recon trip not a food trip.'  Hannibal told him. 

Murdock muttered something under his breath and reached for the dog biscuits.  Katie pulled a Twinkie bar from her bag of shopping.  Murdock held his breath and Katie handed it to him.  He stared at her for a moment before grabbing her in a bear hug and planting a big, smacking kiss on her cheek. 'Mmmmwah!'

Katie laughed.  'Whoa, it was only a Twinkie bar.'

Face chuckled.  'To Murdock that's the best present you could have given him.  Now you've bought him food he'll be your friend for life.'

Murdock tore the wrapper of the bar and took a big bite.  His eyes closed and he made a sound of contentment.  'Ummm, ziz is delicious.'  He pronounced in a French accent.  'I must complement zee chef.'

Katie shook her head in amusement and Murdock grinned at her through a mouthful of Twinkie.  

'Come on, let's get out of here.'  BA prompted them, he wasn't happy about being stuck out here in the open for too long.  They had things to do.

'Come on, fly boy.' Katie told Murdock.  'Time to go.'

Murdock polished off the Twinkie and motioned to Billy to follow him, this time the dog obeyed instantly.

Once all were in the van, Hannibal turned round from his seat next to BA up the front.  'Now, we've found out where the apartment is in San Diego and, thanks to Face, we know that you're stepfather's friend, Carl went back there two days ago for a business appointment. 

'How did you find all that out?'  Katie asked in amazement.  'I couldn't get a thing out of them when I tried.'

'Ahh, you just have to have the right touch.'  Face told her with a small smile of self-satisfaction.

'Who was she?'  Katie asked instantly.

Hannibal concealed a smile but BA burst out laughing.  'Oh, she's got your number down good, man.'

'You don't know that it was a she.'

'Something you want to tell us, Face?'  Hannibal asked with some amusement.

'Ok, so it was a girl.  Her name was Brenda and she was very helpful, very nice.'

'When you taking her to dinner?'  Katie asked matter of factly.  She'd met enough guys like Face to have figured him out from the moment she saw him.

'Assuming all goes well, Monday.'

Murdock shook his head.  'Faceman, you don't change.'

'That's why ya love me.'  He answered with his trademark grin.

As they made their way to San Diego, Katie looked at the surroundings she was leaving and wondered when she would look on the City of Angels again.  When she came back, would it be with her mom and these four guys?  She closed her eyes tightly and feeling a little silly, she wished as hard as she could that everything would be ok.  That in a few days they would be back here with her mother and then she found herself wishing that she could remember the things that Murdock so desperately wanted her to remember.

A hand touched her shoulder.  'We'll find her.'  Face told her quietly and Katie favoured him with a grateful smile.

Murdock looked at her from his place between the two seats.  He was stroking Billy's fur in gently, soothing movements.  He gave her a reassuring smile and she felt a little better.

'So, what's the plan?'  BA asked Hannibal.  He gripped the steering wheel tighter.  'Hope we get to bust those guys up good, if they've harmed even one hair on her head I'll kill 'em.'

A smile tugged at Hannibal's lips and Katie felt a warm surge of happiness flood through her.  They were going to find her mother, with guys like this how could they not win.

'We'll drive to San Diego, then Face will arrange for an apartment as near to Carl's place as we can get.  We'll go from there.'

*** 

The drive was pleasant for a while and Katie felt herself begin to drift off to sleep.  She had hardly slept at all the night before and now she was feeling drowsy.  She had just drifted off when the van made a hard right.  She fell right off the seat and into Murdock's lap.  

She woke with a start and blinked, surprised to find herself staring into the pilot's brown eyes.  'What happened?'  She asked.  'Did I hurt Billy?'

'Billy's fine but be careful where you put your feet.  We've got cops after us.'

Katie nodded and yawning she pushed herself back onto her seat.  

'Everyone ok back there?'  BA asked.

'We're fine.'  Face told him.  Katie slid forward in her seat looked in the side mirror on her side to see what was happening.  Behind the van, she could see the shape of the police cars, three of them with the blue and red warning lights flashing.

Murdock scooped Billy up in his arms and held the dog protectively against him.  'Shh, it's ok boy.'  He whispered.

'Fool better not be talking to that dog again.'  BA said menacingly, he glanced into the mirror.  'Damn, will these guys never get off our tail?'

'Take a left here.'  Hannibal ordered and BA obeyed instantly.  Katie slid sideways against the wall of the van.  BA sped along the road and then began a weaving dance between cars trying to shake the cops.  The cops persevered and carried on chasing them, to make matters worse another cop car was up ahead. Murdock covered his eyes and then peeked through his fingers to see what was happening.  Face's attention was riveted to the car up ahead.  There seemed to be no way out this time.  

Everyone held their breath and then BA spun the wheel and took the van into the opposite lane, heading back towards the centre of the city.  The cop car behind them tried to follow suite but ended up crashing into a Corvette instead.  BA stepped on the gas, putting pedal to metal.  The van surged forward and shot across an intersection at an alarming speed, cars braked and the drivers lent on their horns in anger and frustration.

'Better take us back to the warehouse, BA.'  Hannibal told the sergeant.  'We should lay low for a while.'

'I knew we should have left sooner.'  BA grumbled.  

'I've got a better idea.'  Katie spoke up.  'I've got a fair sized garage at my place, should take the van no trouble.  Just in case the cops have managed to trace you to the garage.'

'Good idea, BA, take a right at the next set of lights.'  Hannibal said taking a deep breath and gathering himself together.

'How do you know where I live?'  Katie asked surprised.  'I didn't say.'

'No, but when Mr Lee said you were looking for us I took the trouble to look you up.'

'Find anything interesting?'  

Hannibal smirked.  'Maybe.'


	4. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

The four of them arrived at Katie's house not long after they lost the police.  The house was nice and virtually as Murdock remembered it.  Spanish style and warmly decorated.  Not much had changed but he thought he could spot a few subtle differences here and there, probably the influence of the stepfather he thought sourly.

He looked in the direction of the kitchen and as if on cue, his stomach rumbled.  The Twinkie had filled the gap but not for long.

'You still hungry?'  Katie asked Murdock with a wry smile.

Face snorted in amusement.  'He's always hungry.'  He told her.

'Come on then fly boy, let's get you some food.'

'Why do you keep calling him that?'  BA asked in confusion.

'He's a pilot and it fits him.'  She answered but she seemed almost as puzzled as he did.

'Your mom used to call me that.'  Murdock told her smiling happily.

Katie just shrugged the remark off and went into the kitchen.  Face and Hannibal watched her carefully, both exchanged looks.  They were wondering just how much Katie was telling the truth when she said she couldn't remember.

'So, what do you want?'  Katie asked Murdock as he followed her into the kitchen.  'I can fix you a sandwich, peanut butter and jelly?'

Murdock's grin was answer enough.  He obviously liked the idea of a sandwich, peanut butter and jelly in particular.  'Ok then.'  Katie said.  'Peanut butter and jelly it is.  Feel free to let Billy out into the garden.'

'Thanks, he'll like that, he overheard Face when he was scamming to get me out of the VA.  He heard the word 'park' and he's been pestering me ever since.'

Katie reached up and took a key down from a hook by the toaster. 'Here, let him have a run around.'

Murdock opened the door.  'Go on boy.'  

Katie finished making the sandwich and putting it on a plate, she handed it to Murdock.  'Ummm.'  He said as he took a bite.  

'Go on take it in the other room, I'll let Billy back in.'

As Murdock left the kitchen Face entered.  'Hey Face, you want something to eat?  I don't have much but I'm sure I can find something for you.'  Katie smiled pleasantly at him.

'Peanut butter and jelly looks good thanks.'  The older man said leaning against the counter facing her.  'It's good that you play along with Murdock's games but you don't have to.'

Katie smiled to quietly.  'What did you really come in here to talk to me about Face?  It wasn't about Billy I'm sure.'

Face shrugged.  'Murdock's impressionable, he might act crazy and carefree but he's not.  He can get hurt easily.'

'And you think that's what I'm going to do?'  She put down the butter knife and turned to face him.  'Listen, I don't remember Murdock and the things he's told me but I do like him.  I like all you guys, he genuinely seems to remember, and I wish I could but I don't.  I'm sorry if that bothers you but there's nothing I can do.  I just want to focus on getting my mom away from that freak Carl.'

'And I understand that but I think that maybe it's not a case of not being able to remember but more likely that you won't remember.  You're still hurting over your dad's death and you've pushed all the memories away that contain him.  That includes Murdock, thinking about your dad is painful and Murdock was your dad's friend so it follows that you'd push away your memories of him as well.'

Katie shook her head angrily.  'You are way out of line and way off base.'

'I'm sorry but that's what I think.'

'Then you think wrong.'  She turned and walked out of the door and into the garden.  Feeling the cool caress of the breeze on her blazing hot cheeks calmed her down a little but not much.  She walked over to the large tree at the end of the garden where up in the branches a tree house still sat.  She climbed up and sat on the wooden platform looked down at the garden.  She closed her eyes.

_It was a hot summer's day and she was eight years old again.  She was playing with her dolls when someone rang the doorbell. Her mother got up to answer it and Katie felt hope well up inside of her.  Maybe her daddy had come home early, that would be nice, and maybe he'd bring Murdock along with him. That would be better still.  She liked Murdock, he brought her ice cream and always played with her, never treating her as if she was just a child._

_Katie's mom opened the door and standing up Katie could just see the figure of Murdock standing in the doorway.  Her mother smiled in delight to see him but the smile faded as she saw the folded uniform Murdock was carrying and the grief in his eyes.  Katie felt herself freeze, Murdock always smiled, always.  He never looked like this._

'Karen.'  He said but his voice sounded wrong.  'I'm so sorry.'  And Katie's mom crumbled to the floor sobbing.  Katie's eyes met Murdock's and she knew that her daddy wasn't coming back, not today, not any day.  She turned and ran through the house into the garden.  She scrambled up the tree and perched in the tree house.  Warm tears ran down her cheeks.  She closed her eyes but all she could see was her dad smiling down at her telling her that he'd see her soon, real soon.

Katie opened her eyes and looked round, the memory had faded.  She blinked and realised that she had been crying just as the eight-year-old Katie had been.  She understood with a jolt that Face had been right, she had been pushing away her memories of Murdock just as she had always pushed away her memories of her dad.

Reaching into the back pocket of her jeans, she pulled out the faded photograph of the team and her father.  She looked at Murdock smiling into the camera and knew what it was that had always seemed wrong.  He was wearing a uniform and Katie had only seen him wear his uniform twice in her life.  All the other times he'd worn his street clothes and always the brown jacket with the tiger's head on the back.

Twice she'd seen him wear the uniform, once on the day he'd come home from 'Nam to tell her mother that her husband was dead and then again on the day of the funeral.  She forced herself to remember that day, it didn't matter now how much it hurt, that day had happened, Murdock had been there and she owed it to him and to her father to remember it.

Katie opened her eyes to see Murdock sitting beside her.  'Hey.'  He said and her put an arm around her.  She closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder the way she always did with her father.

'Katie.'  He said and she knew what he was going to say next.

_'Daddy's not coming back is he?'  She asked before he could speak again._

_Wordlessly Murdock shook his head and Katie felt herself begin to fall apart inside._

_'No, sugar pie, he's not.'  At any other time it would have made her laugh as it always made her laugh when ever he called her something that was related to food.  He had numerous nicknames for her and they always made her smile.  Today he was serious and withdrawn._

_She looked up at him but his face was turned away from her.  She realised that he was crying, hastily he wiped the tears away from his cheeks.  She felt shocked, grown ups were supposed to be the strong ones, grown ups never cried, only little kids cried.  She remained quiet pretending that she hadn't seen._

_*** _

_Katie had been fine all through the funeral, even when they'd lowered the coffin into the ground, even when the guys had given the gun salute and folded up the flag.  Through all that she'd been fine, even back at the house she was fine, for a while anyway._

_She stood with her mother greeting the guests, some of whom were teary eyed.  Nearly all of them had told her how strong and brave she was being, what a tragedy it was and how she should take good care of her mother._

_They'd nearly all said the same thing up until Hannibal.  He crouched down to her height and smiled at her.  'Hey, kid.'  He said.  Katie liked Hannibal; she liked all of Murdock's friends.  'Your dad was a good man, I'm gonna miss him.'_

_Katie nodded dutifully.  'You take care of yourself, ok.'  He held out his hand and Katie shook it feeling a little better, at least he hadn't told her how brave she was being._

_Next up was BA, the large black man got down to her height and ruffled her hair.  He didn't say anything but she saw it all written in his eyes._

_After him came Face.  She hugged him warmly and he smiled at her sadly.  'Hey there, Katie.'  Still Katie didn't cry even though Face looked as if he might start at any minute._

_'Hey.' She managed in a small voice.  That was all he said but it was enough._

_Murdock came last, kneeling down and wrapping her in a hug.  She hugged him fiercely and he kissed her cheek the way he had her mother's.  That was all it took, she felt the tears start to fall and instantly felt guilty as her mother burst into tears as well._

_As Face and Hannibal took her mother into the kitchen, Katie hid her face against Murdock's shoulder.  He looked round at all the people staring and decided enough was enough.  He picked her up and took her upstairs, BA following._

_Murdock sat next to her on her bed and motioned for BA to close the door.  He looked annoyed.  'Did you hear 'em BA.'  He said angrily.  'Every single one of them staring.'  He was actually shaking with anger.  'She's eight years old...'_

_'Murdock.'  BA said inclining his head in Katie's direction.  She was staring at Murdock in amazement, her tears drying rapidly._

_'Sorry sweetheart.'  He said.  'But they shouldn't have been saying those things and they certainly shouldn't make you think that you have to look after your mother.'_

_Katie sniffed and Murdock reached over and handed her the tissue box with the teddy bears on it.  The one her grandma had made her.  He wiped her eyes and tossed the tissue in the bin next to the bed._

_'I shouldn't have cried.'  She said softly.  'I'm acting like a baby, now I'm made Mom upset.'_

_'Hey.'  Murdock told her.  'You aren't acting like a baby and you're mom is upset anyway, her crying isn't anything to do with you.'_

_BA sat down next to her.  'You go ahead and cry all you want little mamma.  We don't mind, there's nothing wrong in you crying, you miss your dad.'_

_'You're not crying.' She told BA boldly and Murdock chuckled softly._

_'I don't cry.'  BA told her awkwardly._

_'He's thinks he's too tough to cry but really he's a big cuddly teddy bear.'  Murdock grinned at her._

_Katie managed a smile and Murdock put an arm round her.  'You gonna be ok?'  He asked her quietly._

_Katie nodded. 'Maybe he'll come back, maybe it's all a mistake or maybe it's my fault, maybe I was bad and if I'm real good maybe they'll let him come back.  Or, maybe he has an important mission and can't let us know he's safe.'_

_'Don't you talk that way, you hear me.'  Murdock told her firmly.  'It wasn't because you were bad.  He's not coming back but that isn't because of anything you did.'_

_BA stood.  'I'm going downstairs, I'll see you down there.'  Murdock nodded and then turned to face Katie._

_'Listen to me for a minute Katie.  I know I don't usually act serious but I am now, I don't want you thinking that this is your fault, sugar, 'cos it's not.  He wouldn't want you thinking that.  It's very sad but he'd want you to carry on doing all the things you normally do.  You can cry over him and not feel guilty about it, don't listen to those things they were saying to you down there.  You don't have to be brave or anything, this is really hard on you, you're so young and nobody should lose a parent at your age.'_

_Katie nodded teary eyed.  She wasn't used to Murdock being like this but she was glad he was here.  'Murdock, I'm glad you came.'_

_'I know.  There's something I wanted to ask you, I was going to wait until tomorrow but I might as well ask you now?'_

_Katie gave him her full attention. 'You know I've got go back to Vietnam in a couple of weeks, don't ya?'_

_'Yes, Mom said.'  She looked sad.  'I don't want you to go.'_

_'I don't really want to go either but I have to.  And I have to do something about my dog, Billy.  He's only little and he could get hurt.  I thought you could look after him for me.  Your mom won't mind because he's special, he's invisible.  He won't mess on the rug or anything.  All you've got to do is cuddle him every now and then and talk to him.  He gets scared easy see, he needs a little hug to make him feel better. Can you do that?'_

_Katie nodded gravely.  'I can do that.'_

_'Good, I'll bring him by before I leave.  Now lets go downstairs and see your mom.'_

_Katie nodded and jumped down from the bed and took his hand._

_***_

Katie took a deep breath and tried to get a hold of her feelings.  She was remembering it all so clearly, how could she have forgotten.  After her dad had died he'd been the only one to stick around, the others all had to go back to 'Nam.  He'd spent days just talking to her, making sure that she was ok, taking her for ice cream, telling her stories.  Above all he'd ask her if she remembered this and that her dad had done, making her talk about him and making sure she remembered him in the best ways possible.  He'd been great through the whole thing and she'd gone and forgotten that he even existed.

And what had happened, he'd come back from 'Nam and been sent to place for crazy people.  Murdock was crazy but it wasn't in a bad way.  Katie had a feeling that the only reason he acted as crazy as he did was so that they couldn't lock him up in prison and probably because he'd found out that acting crazy could be fun.  Still, Katie knew that he wasn't 100% sane but she knew that he wasn't 100% crazy either.

She climbed down from the tree house and stopped abruptly as she came to the place where her old swing set had been.  She remembered sitting here the day Murdock had brought Billy to here, the last day that she had seen him before he'd shipped out to 'Nam.  He'd brought Billy round, he'd told her to close her eyes and when she'd opened them the cutest little dog she'd ever seen was sitting on the grass in front of her.

Now she remembered how she'd felt when she'd said goodbye to him and she at last knew why it was that she'd forgotten him. It wasn't just because of Face's theory that he was a connection with her dad and all things connected to her dad were too painful to think of. It was because she didn't want to lose him the way she'd lost her father.  She knew that if anything happened to him and he didn't come back she would be devastated and wouldn't be able to handle it.  So she'd forgotten him, not all at once but little by little his memory had faded out and then she'd just stopped thinking about him altogether, the same way she stopped thinking about her father.  

A hand fell on her shoulder and she turned to see Murdock looking at her, he was 13 years older and in his eyes she could see the craziness that had meant that he was no longer allowed to be a member of society.  He had to be locked up and kept away because they thought he was insane.  She knew as she looked at him that she might well be looking at the sanest person she'd ever meet.  He acted the way he did because he couldn't handle the things he'd seen and done, he acted crazy because it was the only way to keep himself from dying inside.  She hugged him as fiercely as she had done on that dark day they'd buried her father.

'Hey, you ok?'  He asked concerned.

She nodded wordlessly against his shoulder.  She couldn't look at him, how much had she hurt him by not remembering?  How guilty did he feel for not coming back when he'd promised he would?  She understood now what he had meant when he'd said he wouldn't let anything happen to her mother or her.  She remembered him telling her but no one had ever told her how her father had died and she now had the chance to find out.  She raised her head and looked at him.

'How did he die, Murdock?'

Hope shone on his face as it dawned on him that she had remembered something after all.  He looked almost child-like as he grinned at her.

'You remember?'

'Maybe a little too well.'

Murdock sat down on the bench that now stood where her swing set had.  'It was a really bad day and his team took a lot of hits but not him.  He was ok throughout the whole mission.  I didn't fly with him, by then Hannibal had already recruited me for his team.  But I was worried because of the reports we were getting in.  I was relieved when he landed.  I went out to meet the chopper and as he stepped off it, Charlie opened fire.  He took a hit, real bad.  By the time I got to him he was already dying.  I tried to help him but it was just too late.  He died right there and the only thing he was thinking about was you and your mom.  He didn't care about anything else 'cept you guys.'

Katie sat for moment and then looked at him.  'Why did you come back Murdock, was it because you felt guilty?'

'Face came and got me, said we had a mission.  I didn't even know it was anything to do with you.'

'No, I mean why did you come back in 1970?  When Dad died, why did you come back?'

'Because I said I would, because I owed to him and I thought your mom should hear it from me rather than some stranger and because I was your friend and you needed me.'

The craziness was completely gone now and Katie realised that it wasn't easy for him to speak so seriously and so openly.

'That's all I needed to know.'  She got up but turned to him before going back into the house. 'I took good care of Billy you know.'

'I know, he told me, loves you to pieces don't you boy.'  He ruffled the dog's head and smiled goofily down at empty air.

Katie smiled.  'Let's get my mom back.'  She said and he stood up scooping Billy up as he did so.


	5. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

'I'm assuming you have a plan?'  Katie asked as they sat seated in her living room.

Hannibal nodded.  'I have, we leave here in a couple of hours and drive to San Diego, then we go back to the plan I had originally.'

Face cleared his throat and looked pointedly at Hannibal, obviously wanting him to say something else.  Katie looked from one man to the other and had a sense it was to do with her.  Murdock removed his blue cap, smoothed his hair and replaced the cap on his head backwards.  She knew instantly that he was nervous.

'What?'  She asked finally when no one else spoke.

'There is one exception to the plan.'  Hannibal told her gravely.  'On the way to San Diego we're going to drop you off at a safe house where you'll stay until we get your mother back.'

Katie's eyes widened in a mixture of horror and anger.  'I'm sorry, I must have misheard for a moment there I could have sworn that you said you're going to pack me off to a safe house where I'll be out of the way.'

'He did.' Face said quietly. 

'It's too dangerous for...' Hannibal began but Katie cut him off.

'Don't you tell me what's too dangerous, I don't give a damn about dangerous, this is my mother we're talking about.  Her life could be in danger and by God I am not just going to sit by and watch it happen.'

'That's why you hired us isn't it?  To get her back?  That's what we're going to do but you'll have no part in it.  You being there could mean that you're a danger to her, to you and to us.  I have to think about what's best for my team and for you, you're just a kid…'

Katie was on her feet now.  'No, you don't get to do that Hannibal.  You don't get to put me out of the way and then tell me it's because I'm just a kid.  My father died when I was just eight years old, I had to do a lot of growing up pretty quickly.  I can handle this, I won't be in the way.'

'Katie, your mother wouldn't want this, your father wouldn't want this.'

'Not gonna work Face, you can't charm me the way you do with all the other women.  I'm going to San Diego and that is that.'

'You'll go where I say you'll go.'  Hannibal told her.  'Unless that is you want to reconsider having us rescue your mother.'

Katie balled her hands into fists and gritted her teeth.  'I'm not a child and I want you guys because you're the best but I'm going to San Diego with or without you.'

'This could be dangerous, just the fact that she's your mother is dangerous.  They could decide to use you against your stepfather.'

'They won't.  My stepfather doesn't care jack about me.  He couldn't care what happens to me.'

'But Karen would and he'd do whatever he could to please her so I wouldn't bank on that theory too much.'

'I can do this Hannibal; I have to do this.  Murdock tell them!'  She turned in frustration to the pilot who only stuck his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor.

'Murdock?'  She asked feeling betrayed by his silence.

Murdock looked up and shrugged.  'Awww, don't drag me into this, please.'

'You agree with them?'  The hurt in her voice was evident and he shrugged again.

'Yeah, I do.  You should be safe and going to San Diego with us isn't safe.  It could get bad and besides someone has to take care of Billy, I don't want anything to happen to him.'

Katie shook her head in desperation.  'Wow, I don't believe this.  You're doing it again; you're going away and you're deserting me just like before.'  She sank down onto the couch and buried her head in her hands.

Murdock looked at her for a moment, a myriad of thoughts and emotions crossed his face and he sat down next to her.  'I'm coming back this time.  I'm not deserting you just making sure you're safe.  And when I get back we can go for ice cream, you can come visit me at the VA.  You can bring me trash bags and food for Billy, you'll see.'

'You need me out there.  I know things that even Face couldn't find out.'

'Oh no, that's impossible.  There ain't nothing Face can't get.'  Murdock protested.  'You name it, Faceman can get it.'

'I have to be there, can't you understand?  She's my mother, she's all I have left and if anything happens to her while I'm just doing nothing I'll never forgive myself.  I can't just do nothing when she needs my help, I can't, I won't.'

BA looked at her and then at Hannibal.  'Hannibal, I know what I said earlier and I know I agreed when Face suggested about this safe house idea but now I'm not so sure.'

Katie's head snapped up and she met Face's guilty expression with fiery eyes.  'You?  This is all down to you?  You really don't like me do you Face?  I didn't heed the verbal warning so now you have to take action, that it?'

'What's she talking about Face?'  Hannibal asked, he didn't like the scene that was starting to unfold, he had a mission to think about and a confrontation wasn't going to help.

'I, uh, it's not that I don't like you Katie, it's just I think, we think, that you'd be better off…' He trailed off, for once at a loss for words.

'Tell them Face; tell Murdock what you said to me before?  How you accused me of lying, basically told me to stay away!'  Her voice rose an octave.

'What's she mean Face?'  Murdock asked looking confused and slightly angry.

'That's not what I said.  I didn't…that wasn't how it was supposed to come over.  I just wanted to help her remember, I could see what it was doing to Murdock, she was a liability to us, to the mission.'  Face stammered the words out; his usual smoothness all but vanished in the wake of Katie's anger and Murdock's accusing stare.

Murdock was staring at him.  'Face, you're the one who always understood about Billy, the wobblies, all the times the clouds caught fire.  Everything, you understood it, you even played along sometimes.  Now you think she's a danger to the mission, you worrying about me? Why?  I'm already crazy.'

'It wasn't meant like that, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but I knew she was blocking out the memory of her dad dying and that was why she didn't remember you.  I thought if I made her mad enough then I could draw her out; make her remember.  I just used you as that way out.  I didn't mean what I said.'

BA was studying him carefully and nodded now.  'He's telling the truth Hannibal, you were the one who suggested he talk to her.'

Hannibal looked round at his team.  Murdock was still looking at Face as if he'd never seen him before, still unsure as to what to believe.  Katie looked upset and still angry.  Hannibal had a feeling that she wasn't really angry at Face, she was just upset and Face was the person who had picked the wrong time to challenge her.

'Ok, that's enough.'  He said trying to establish some order.  Each man turned to look at him in an instant.  Murdock's eyes slid from Face to Hannibal almost reluctantly.  'Face didn't mean what he said and we have more important things to think of.  Katie, if you do exactly what we tell you then yes, you can come with us to San Diego.'

Katie blinked and then nodded happily as she realised that she was being given consent to stay.  She looked over at Face still wary of him.  Warier than she had been over Murdock, Hannibal noted.  She was worried that Murdock wasn't coming back this time and the colonel knew that if they did leave Katie behind Murdock would only worry.  That would be worse; he needed the pilot's full attention on this mission.  Besides Katie might still prove to be an asset.

***

Katie went upstairs to pack some clothes; she was standing in her bedroom in front of her wardrobe wondering what you took with you in a situation like this.  She glanced over and saw the picture of her father that stood on her dresser, something occurred to her and she went into her mother's room.

Grabbing a chair, she stood on it and reached into the cupboard above the wardrobe.  Her hand encountered a cardboard box and she pulled it out and into her arms.  Getting down she sat on the floor and began rifling through the box.

It was while she was doing so that Face entered the room.  She barely even noticed him so intent was she on the task at hand.  She sorted through papers dumping everything on the floor.  'Where is it, where is it?'  

'Katie?'  Face said awkwardly.  'I just wanted to apologise for earlier, I understand how hard things have been for you, especially in the last few days and I just…'

'No you don't Face, you have no idea.'  Katie told him but instead of the emotion and anger that he had expected to accompany those words, there was only a hollow vagueness as if she wasn't really listening to him but giving him the answer she thought he wanted to hear.  She carried on pulling things out of the cardboard box.

It was half way down that she found it, stuck between a programme for a concert and the order of service from the funeral.  The picture was 15 years old and the people in the picture were also older now but still recognisable.  There was Katie a bubbly six year old.  She was smiling confidently at the camera and there with his arm around her was Murdock, he had more hair then and his eyes were not so haunted but it was still him.

As soon as Katie saw the picture a thousand images and memories slammed into her.  Memories of Murdock buying her ice cream, Murdock and her dad teaching her how to swim, days at the beach, Murdock dunking her in the water, playing tennis or just sitting around talking.  The memories overwhelmed her with their clarity and she felt as if she'd just slammed into a brick wall.  Tears began to well up but she brushed them away before they could fall.  She was finished with the crying.

Another onslaught of memories threatened to get the better of her but she fought to control herself as she saw her father smiling, Murdock in his bomber jacket with the tiger on the back, all of them in the diner on Saturday afternoons and best of all flying.  They'd taken her flying, her father and Murdock, just once but once had all it had taken for her to fall in love with it.  Soaring above the clouds, Murdock expertly piloting the plane turning the flight into a kind of graceful dance in a sea of beautiful blue nothingness.

'Katie?'  Face's voice cut like a knife through her memories and she struggled to block him out afraid that if she stopped remembering even for one moment the memories would vanish again never to return.  The urgency in his tone forced her to come out of her trance and she looked up at him in a kind of daze.

'What?'  She asked him and then saw the thing that she had really been looking for.

'Are you ok?'  He asked again.

'Fine.'  She said picking up small handgun that sat in the bottom of the box.  She hefted the weight and then it was snatched rudely out of her hands.

'What you doing with that?' Murdock asked.  'It's not a toy, you could hurt yourself.'  He sounded more frightened than angry.

She was aware that all the members of the A-Team were crowded round her; she stared blankly up at Murdock.  

Murdock checked over the gun and sighed with relief. 'The safety was still on.'

'You were lucky, kid.'  Hannibal told her and Katie wondered what he meant.

'I just wanted some protection. Stop treating me like an incompetent idiot, I can handle this just fine.'  She snatched the gun out of Murdock's hands.  He looked surprised.

'We are your protection, kid; you don't need guns for that.  Heck, you don't even really need the four of us, BA could do a good enough job protecting you than any gun.'

Murdock took the gun back and then hunkered down and picked up the photograph that was lying on the floor.  He looked at it for moment and nostalgia was evident on his face.  His brown eyes looked thoughtful.

He turned to her.  'So, you want to experience some jazz?'  He asked with a devilish smile and the smile widened as he saw her puzzled expression.

'Oh no.' Face said.  'Can't we just get the mission over with without someone going crazy?'

'Too late for that Facey.  Katie and me, we're going to bop and jive.  Gonna teach Carl a lesson.  Howlin' Mad Murdock is in the house and oh boy oh boy are you guys in for a treat.'  There was gleam in his eye and Katie couldn't help smiling back.

'Just leave the guns to us, kid.'  Hannibal told her firmly.

'Yeah, guns are bad.'  BA put in.

'You ready to go yet, Katie girl?'  Murdock asked almost bouncing in excitement; his momentary anger was forgotten.

'Nearly.'  She headed back into the bedroom and didn't see Murdock pocket the photo of the two of them with a wistful smile as he remembered better times.  Not that it was easy to remember these days; things got kinda twisted and mixed up.  It got difficult to determine what was real and what he was making up in his head.  Maybe when the mission was over he could take Katie flying again; bring the smile back to the girl's face.  Oh sure she smiled now but she was worried about her mom, still upset about her dad and confused towards all the new memories she was having to deal with.  Murdock was determined that he would make Katie smile that old smile that touched her eyes, the one that made her whole face light up.  

He began to hum an opera tune under his breath smiling to himself, already flying through the clouds in his own mind.  Soon, maybe not right now but soon he would fly and flying was what it was all about, without the flying he would be nothing, he'd end up like some of the guys at the VA.  Sitting there staring into space, sure staring at nothing could be fun for a while but it soon got boring, it was more fun to stir things up.  He couldn't imagine a life without flying, for Murdock it would be like trying to live without being able to breath.  It was a part of him, it made him who he was and it was all there was to live for, that and the guys and now, maybe, something else.  Maybe he could keep the promise he'd made to Tony all those years ago, maybe he could look after his best friend's daughter after all.  Maybe things would turn out all right.

'What do you think Billy?  Think we'll get to loop the loop and see the clouds catch fire real soon?'   The dog yipped in agreement.  'Good.'  Murdock said and went downstairs where the others were waiting for him.  The jazz was about to begin.


	6. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE 

Katie was asleep by the time they reached San Diego.  It wasn't that far but she'd hardly slept last night and her sleep had been broken earlier on when BA had had to avoid the police.  Murdock watched her sleep with a small smile on his face.  She really did look like her dad, maybe more so than she realised.  She had the same fire and quick temper as Tony had, always wanted to be in on the action and never let anyone just walk all over her.  In his mind he was seeing the eight year old he used to know, she'd grown up a lot since then, maybe a little to fast but she was still Katie and he wanted to make sure she was ok.  He might be certified crazy by the state but that hadn't changed the fact that he thought of the girl as a part of his family, her father had been like family and so had Katie and Karen, her mother.

'You got a place fixed for us yet Face?'  Hannibal asked from the front breaking Murdock out of his thoughts.  Face shook his head in reply.

'Not yet, I'll see what I can do when we get there.  You decided what we need yet Hannibal?'

The colonel chewed thoughtfully on his cigar.  'I'm working on it Face, just give me time, I'm working on it.'

Murdock stroked the top of Billy's head as the dog slept on his lap.  'What are we going to do about Katie?'  He asked.  'If we go in there with guns blazing she can't be with us.'

'She's gonna want to.'  BA put in.  'She's worried about her momma and that means she might not be willing to listen to reason.'

'You suggested she come with us.'  Hannibal argued sounding annoyed now.  'You think that's a bad idea now, BA?  Well good luck 'cos I wouldn't want to be the one who has to explain to her why she can't come with us.  I think she means what she says about going whether it's with us or not.'

'She does.'  Murdock told him.  'She'd be there in a second, Billy knows she's not lying and he knows her almost as well as I do.'

'Mention Billy's name again and I'll rip your head off sucker.'  BA growled, he was tired and strained.  This wasn't going to be a simple mission he could feel it.  Already there'd been one argument and now as tension mounted, it looked as if there could be another one.  The last thing he needed to hear about was a dog that wasn't really there.

'It's safer if she's where we can keep an eye on her.'  Hannibal told them.  'Otherwise she's just going to get hurt.'

As they entered San Diego the sun was just going down and the whole place was lit with red fire.  Murdock looked at it in wonderment; it looked beautiful, even more beautiful with the horses riding the clouds up above.  He smiled lazily and closed his eyes.  He could feel the crazy jives starting and he welcomed it.  He had his own memories that he needed to escape.

BA pulled over by a small beach and they sat there deciding what to do next.

'Go for a swim.'  Murdock proclaimed, he was eager to get in the water, it looked so inviting.

'I'll go see what I can do about that house.'  Face offered.  'You can take him swimming.'

'Thanks.'  Hannibal told him sardonically.  'Don't be too long.'

'Aye aye Colonel.'  Face mock saluted and got out of the van.  The sound of the door opening made Katie wake from her sleep.  She yawned, stretched, and looked out at her surroundings.

'Where are we?'  She asked sleepily.

'Welcome to San Diego, I hope you enjoy your stay and please remember to take all litter with you at all times.  Passengers should be aware that there are murderous squirrels in these parts, please avoid them at all costs as they could be life endangering…'

'Shut up.'  BA told Murdock as he continued on.  Murdock pouted and crossed his arms across his chest in a defensive gesture.

'Squirrels?'  Katie asked bemused and still fuzzy from sleep.  Murdock nodded enthusiastically and Katie closed her eyes again.

***

When Katie woke once more, it was in a strange bed in a strange room.  It was dark outside but the clock on the wall told her that it was still only 8 o'clock in the evening.  The smell of bacon, eggs and sausages reached her nose and she got up.  Someone was cooking dinner.

As she stepped out of the bedroom she could hear Murdock humming a tune.  The smell of food intensified and her stomach grumbled that it was hungry and demanded feeding.  Face and Hannibal were on the sofa talking together.  BA was sprawled in one of the armchairs staring at the TV.  Through the open door to the kitchen she could just see Murdock moving around.

'Hey.'  She said as she entered the kitchen.

'Ah hah!  Katherine, please join me.  I'm making a small feast.'  He affected a posh accent and brandished a knife rather dangerously.  'I could use your expertise in tasting to tell me exactly how good this tastes.'  He was wearing an apron and Katie could see his bomber jacket draped over one of the chairs.  She saw for the first time that he was wearing a t-shirt, which said Gorgeous on the front of it underneath that was a pair of red lips in a pout.  She smiled at that; his t-shirts had always been a discussion point whenever he had been home on leave.  She'd helped him pick out a couple and wondered if he still had them.

'I dunno about the taste but it sure does smell good.'

'Ahhh, then you approve?'

'No, it's hardly what I call a healthy meal.'  She leaned against the counter and watched him work. 

'Well, BA has done all that driving around and being a big tough guy, he's always hungry and Face needs fattening up, he doesn't eat that boy, drives me wild.  And you my little sugar plum, I bet that you don't eat properly either.'  He reached over and pinched her cheek, which made her laugh.

'What is it with you and food, every name you have for me is a food.'

'I love food which means that I name the people that I l…'he paused.  'That I like, I call them food, shows my affection for them and I have bags full of affection for you.'  

Katie had noticed the pause where he had been going to say something else other than like.  She was touched that he still felt that they were family or at least close friends, even after all these years.  After only a few hours of remembering she realised how much she had missed having him around.  His absence had left a gap in the lives of her and her mother, he'd been all there was to lean on when her father had died, she thought her mother might have collapsed under the pain and pressure if Murdock hadn't been around at that time.

'Glad you like me then but you never call Face or Hannibal something related to food.'

'Do I need a reason, Katie?  I'm the crazy one remember, I just do stuff for no reason whatsoever.'

'I don't think your crazy, Murdock, a little wacky maybe but not crazy.'

'You haven't seen me fly lately have you?'

'No.' She said laughing.  'Murdock, where are we?'

Murdock avoided her eyes and looked resolutely at the sausages.  'San Diego, you asked that earlier right before you fell asleep again.  You not sleeping right either these days?'

'Don't change the subject you know what I mean.  Who's house is this, where's Mom, what's the plan?'

'You're asking the wrong person sweetheart, Face's the one who pulled the con and Hannibal's the one who comes up with the plans.  I just cook, fly and offer insanity wherever I go.'

'Fine, I'll go ask Hannibal then.'  She walked out of the kitchen before he could stop her.  He saw her pause in the doorway with a frown and then she crossed to the window.  He followed her and watched as she pulled back the curtain and stared outside.

'Oh my god.'  She whispered and Face and Hannibal looked up.  BA remained immersed in the TV programme he was watching.  'That's Carl's house over there; I know it is.  I remember it, my stepfather took us there one night, the eagle on the front door, I remember that.'  She was stunned, after nearly three days of waiting and worrying she was now a stone's throw away from her mother.  She turned back to the guys.  'What are you doing sitting around?  Go over there and rescue her.'

'We need a plan and besides there's no one home.  We've been keeping watch and there's been no movement nothing.'

Katie stared at Face in amazement as he spoke those words.  'You can't just wait.' She all but whispered.

'Katie we agreed that you could come along but you have to let us do things our way.'  Face told her and Katie could see that Hannibal agreed with him.  She sat down.

'It's just, I didn't really believe that you'd…' She broke off.  'She's over there and I'm over here it's just a little too much to take.'

'Actually, no one's over there.  Not at the moment anyway.'

'How can you be sure Hannibal?'

'I can't but after dinner I'll explain my plan.  By the way I don't suppose you brought some make up with you did ya?'

Katie was taken aback by this question but nodded in answer.

'Good we may need it.'

*** 

Everyone agreed, even BA, that the food was delicious.  Murdock beamed basking in the glow of the praise that was festooned upon him.  It was after dinner that Hannibal with a grin told them of his plan.

'We need to make sure that someone's home there and find out where they've gone if they're not there.  Now it's dark and we can't afford to wait till morning so the plan we've come up with is…ahh Face, I can't, you tell it.'  He broke off with a huge grin.

'Murdock's gonna dress up as a hooker and try and see what he can get out of them.'  Face was also grinning like an idiot.  From behind Katie there was an audible thump as Murdock hit the floor.  'He's the only one crazy enough to do it.'  Face protested at the look on Katie's face.

BA giggled, looked at Murdock lying on the floor in a mock faint and giggled some more.

Katie laughed and then stopped as she realised that Face was actually being serious, her smile grew until it nearly split her face in half.  If Murdock had have been standing upright he would have been pleased.

Murdock sat up and rubbed his head.  'Wow, I must have tripped out more than usual.  I dreamed that Face said I was going to dress up as a hooker to try and get information out of Carl.'

'He did.'  Face said and Murdock looked shocked.

'Why me?  You're good at cons and you love to play dress up.'

'So do you, you liked wearing that wedding dress remember?'

'That was different Face, that was my wedding; it was special. I refuse on the grounds that I'm too innocent to play a part like that.'

This statement elected laughs from all of them.  'Oh Murdock don't be such a spoilsport, Face has even gone to all the trouble of picking out a dress for you to wear.  It'll only be for ten minutes at the most.' Hannibal had that crazy jazzed look in his eyes again and Katie was fascinated by it.

Murdock pouted and shook his head defiantly.  'I don't think it's a good idea, Pizza delivery boy is more realistic.'

'Oh Murdock you disappoint me, I thought you loved to be the crazy one, I would have thought that this was right up your alley.' Hannibal said and Face collapsed laughing.

***  

'Sit still Murdock.'  Katie told the wriggling pilot in an exasperated tone.  Murdock had finally consented to play the part and Katie was busily working on his make up.  Unfortunately the pilot was being less than cooperative.  He kept moving his head and trying to see what the others were doing.

Katie grabbed hold of his chin and glared at him.  'Keep still!'  She said injecting force into her words.  'Otherwise I swear you _will_ regret it.'  She applied some more foundation to his face.

'What you doing?'  He asked.  'It's dark why do I have to wear all this stuff anyway, it seems a lot of trouble when it's so dark out there.'

'If they're there and I think someone is because there's a car in the driveway now, then you need to look realistic.'  Hannibal was sitting back watching as Katie applied the makeup and Face checked over the dress.

BA giggled again, he'd been doing that every five minutes and every time he caught sight of Murdock he'd start up again.  Murdock glared at him and muttered something under his breath.

Katie reached into her makeup bag and pulled out a container of face powder, she took out a brush and began brushing the powder onto Murdock's face.  BA was working on a wire connected to one of the buttons of the pink dress Face had picked out.  This wire would transmit back to the team so that they could hear everything that Murdock said that way if there was any trouble they'd be able to bust him out.  Face had explained to Katie how they'd used it before to catch some killer cops.

'That tickles.'  Murdock complained and then grinned.  'So, do you reckon I'll get a medal for this?'

'I don't know, depends on whether or not I end up killing you and doing the part myself, which I will do if you don't keep still.'  Katie was getting more and more exasperated.  'Men, they complain about the smallest things.'

'Here we go.'  Face said.  'Women's rights, that's all you girls ever talk about isn't it, how much you've been oppressed by us men, how psychologically damaging we've been.  You need us to have all the babies you complain about, we're the ones that supply you know, do we get thanks?'

'Women have their rights, we've spent too long being beaten down by the men because we're the 'weaker sex.'  Murdock stated.

'Shut up fool, you're not a woman, what do you know about it?'

'I was woman in a past life.'  Murdock told BA matter of factly.  'And I was married, remember?  To Calvin.'  He turned to Katie.  'Horrible man my husband, did you know he actually killed his partner, I wish I'd known that before I committed myself, maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much.'  He sighed melodramatically and Face shook his head.

'Close your eyes.'  Katie instructed as she pulled out eye shadow.  She showed it Hannibal who nodded in amused approval.

'Face, we're not all like that, it's just that you guys never seem to know how easy you've got it.  You don't have to have the babies.'

'So don't have any, it's simple.'  Face argued.

Katie had a grin on her face.  'Open your eyes.' She said to Murdock before turning back to Face.  'It's not that simple when there's men like you who die if they don't get a girl into bed every two days.'

BA snorted with laughter and Murdock howled. 'Oh Face, she's brilliant, she really puts you in your place.'

'I do not…'

'Ok that's enough, children.'  Hannibal interjected.  'You all have work to do, let's not waste the little time we've got arguing.'  He was smiling though, it was amusing to see Katie deal with Face in such an off hand manner, she didn't appear to be affected by his charms at all or if she was she was doing a good job of hiding it.

'Murdock look up, that's it, hold it.  Now try to not to blink.'  She unscrewed the cap of a small tube and pulled out a small brush.

'Wait a minute, what you gonna do now?'  Murdock was worried, all this makeup stuff and he didn't know what she was gonna put on him next.  

'Mascara, for your eyelashes.  It's not waterproof though so don't cry.'

'I never cry.' Murdock told her in an injured tone. 'Why you putting it on my lashes anyway?'

'It'll make them look longer; bring out the colour of your eyes.  And because it's more realistic, as realistic as this is gonna get anyway.'

'You don't think I make a good woman?'  He asked.

'Nope, you're lacking some vital parts.'

'And it's gonna stay that way.'  Murdock said suddenly horrified.

Katie smiled a wry smile.  'Don't you worry about that, I've already got that part covered.'

'What do you mean?'  

'Look down a little, that's it.'  She began putting mascara on his lower lashes.

'You'll see, don't worry about it.  Face is working on it.'

'Face?'  Murdock jerked his head around and the mascara smudged across his eye.  He stopped and turned back to Katie with a sheepish smile on his face.  'Sorry.'  He told her.

She glowered at him and reached for a wet wipe, gently she wiped away the mascara and shook her head. Somehow it was impossible to stay too angry at him, he was just too crazy to be mad at, he always came out with something that would make her laugh just at the moment that she was about to start yelling.

'You've got long lashes for a guy.'  She said trying not to let her frustration show.

'Why thank you darling.'  He said in a disturbingly good female voice, it was a low, husky tone but womanish enough.  He never ceased to amaze her, one moment he could be talking in his normal Texan drawl and the next he was speaking in a British accent.

'There done, don't try blinking for a few minutes though or I'll have to do it again.'  She reached back into the bag.

'So, what am I going to do, Hannibal?'  Murdock asked; he wanted a full briefing before he even went near Carl's apartment.

'Knock on the front door and see where it takes you.'  Hannibal suggested.  'I'll leave the fine details up to you, just remember we're going to be hearing every word you say and if you get in any tight spots we'll be there in a flash to break you out.'

'You make it sound so simple.'  Murdock retorted.

'Just try to get as much information as possible and then get outta there.'

Katie pulled out a lipstick tube and tested it on the back of her hand.  She looked at Murdock and then at the dress.  She chose a bright pink that matched the dress almost perfectly; in fact it was almost the same shade as the one that the waitress Candy had been wearing in the diner.  The diner, god, that seemed a lifetime ago and here she was applying makeup to Murdock.  The thought made her giggle; she would never have guessed that this was where she would be that morning.

'Ok pucker up.'  She told him and Murdock pursed his lips.  'No, not like that.'  She pursed her own lips.  'That's better.'  She put the lipstick on his lips and then giggled again.  She couldn't help herself he really was a funny sight sitting there in his normal clothes with all the makeup; he was going to make a superb woman, all in the line of duty.

'I don't see how you can wear this all the time.'  He grimaced and she smiled.  

'All done now.  Well almost.'

She stood back and looked at him, BA happened to look up at that precise moment and burst out laughing.  Murdock all but leaped out of his chair and crossed to the mirror.  He stared at himself for a moment and then smiled.  'I say, I do look rather dashing don't I.' He said in an upper class British accent.  'One would be rather glad if one were dating oneself.'  He affected a snobbish laugh and Katie laughed with him, at least he was able to joke about it.  

She looked at Face, trying to picture him in the same position, she couldn't, he was right Murdock was the only one crazy enough to pull this off.  Not that it would work, not really but she knew they'd never let her go in and do it.  Carl would recognise her in an instant.

'We have to do something about the hair.'  She said musingly.  Murdock caught this and the jokes vanished.

'What's wrong with my hair?'

'Well, it's… you can't wear the cap Murdock and you're hair is just too guy-like plus you're losing it, so...'

Murdock pouted, he was sensitive about his hair and Katie tried to smile reassuringly.

'Nobody touches my hair.'  He said defiantly and Katie was immensely relieved when Hannibal produced a long blonde wig from wherever it was that he kept such things.

Murdock looked at it thoughtfully and then looked at the floor.  'What do you think Billy?'  He asked.

'I think it'll look nice.' Face put in struggling to regain his composure.

Murdock donned the wig and nodded, it changed his whole look.

'Now about the bra?'  Face said and the look of shock on Murdock's face sent BA off into another fit of laughter.  He really was enjoying this, perhaps a little too much.

'Hannibal, tell him to stop laughing.  I'm putting my life on the line here and my reputation.  It's not fair, I'd like to see him do something like this in the line of duty.'

'Murdock, BA respects how well you're cooperating with my plan but you have to admit it is kinda funny.'  Hannibal chewed on his cigar with a wide grin.

'Ok, get your shirt off.'  Katie said taking the bra from Face.

The pilot stared at her.  'Why?'  He asked nervously.

'Fine, you put the bra on, this should be fun to watch.'

'Why do I have to wear the bra anyway?' He whined and Katie raised an eyebrow.

'You actually want me to dignify that with a response?'

'No.' He said sulkily. 'But I'm unstable and this could just drive me right over the edge.'

'You went over the edge a long time ago sucker.'  BA said.

'Face, do you want to do it?'  Katie asked turning to Face with a wink.  She knew Murdock would never go for that.

'No it's fine, Katie can do it.'  Murdock took off his shirt and t-shirt and stood with his arms across his chest.

'Amy is going to be so upset that she missed this.'  Face said.  'She'll never believe me when I tell her about.'

'Amy?'  Katie asked as she fastened the hooks on the bra.  

'A reporter who works with us.  She couldn't get away from an assignment this time around but she'll contact us as soon as she can.'  Hannibal told her, removing the cigar and studying it thoughtfully.  

'Seems to be happening quite a lot lately.'  Face noted.

'She's getting a lot of work at the moment and this last story is going to keep her tied up for a couple of days, there's just no way she could drop everything without getting fired.'  Hannibal told him.

'Face could I have some of the tissues please.'  Katie asked and Face handed them to her.  Katie proceeded to stuff Murdock's bra as he stood there muttering under his breath about revenge.

*** 

Murdock was ready to go, the dress was on and he was wearing the heels.  All in all he looked real enough to pass, his gift for affecting voices was going to be even handier than he had ever realised it would be.

As he tottered out into the street he crossed his fingers hoping that he could pull this one off.  It would be tough; he didn't really know how to be a woman much less this kind of woman.  Still it didn't really need to be authentic, just enough to make sure he could get into the house.

He rapped on the door and waited.  The eagle with its wings spread stared at him accusingly from its place on the front door.

'What you looking at?'  He asked grouchily.

Eventually the door opened and he kept well to the shadows cursing Face for picking a dress that was so short, cursing Hannibal for coming up with this plan.  The moment the door opened and the person appeared in the doorway all those feelings vanished and he could feel the jazz beginning to work.

'Hi.'  He said seductively and he was looked up and down by a short, stocky man of about 35 who was staring at Murdock in disbelief.

'Someone sent for a little entertainment.'

'There ain't no-one here darling.' The man said.  'They went on holiday this afternoon, I'm just looking after the house for my neighbour, you must be mistaken.'

'Oh but Mr Jenkins called for me this morning, said I should come round, he always asks for me when he's in town.'  Murdock smiled again.  'He didn't tell me he was going away.'

'Well I'm sorry but he's not here, they went to Mexico.'

Lights began flashing on and off in Murdock's brain and he just managed what he hoped was a seductive smile.  'Mexico, he never said anything about Mexico on the phone.'

'Well that's where he's gone, his new wife is sick and they've got relatives up there, like I said I'm keeping an eye on the house until the other guy gets back.'

'I don't supposed you have the address do ya sugar?'

'No, I don't he just said it was his Uncle Dave, sorry I can't help you.'

Murdock smiled again he was really getting into the part now and he popped the bubble gum that Katie had given him.  'I don't suppose you'd want some company, you being alone and all.'  He fluttered his eyelids.

'You ain't really a woman are ya?'  The man asked suspiciously and Murdock gave an insulted gasp and slapped the man smartly about the face before turning on his heel and walking back to the house.  The door slammed shut beside him.

'Operation Skirt was a success.'  Murdock said loudly enough for the microphone in the dress button to pick up his voice.  'Information obtained, making my way back to base.'


	7. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

It was nine the next morning before they managed to get breakfast and packing over with.  Murdock was still walking around pretending he was a woman, which was disturbing for everyone.  Katie kept laughing every time she pictured the man's face as Murdock slapped him and stormed off.  All together it was a rather rowdy breakfast with BA yelling at Murdock, Murdock yelling back, Hannibal yelling at both of them and Katie collapsing into giggles every few minutes.

They were all glad to be back on the road.  Murdock sat in the rear this time with BA and Katie in the seats in front of him.  Face was driving and Hannibal had the front passenger seat.

'Don't see why I can't drive?'  BA protested noisily.

'BA, you were driving all day yesterday, I think it's only fair that you rest today.  We have a long day in front of us.'  Hannibal said soothingly.  Face had already got a plane scammed and ready.  Now it was all a matter of getting BA unconscious so that they could get going.

'Just as long as you don't try any of your tricks.'  BA grumbled.

'Oh now BA, I'm hurt that you could suggest that we would try and trick you.  We're all your friends here.'  Face said putting on an injured tone.

'If you don't trick me then how come every time we go on a mission I wake up somewhere different to where I started, somewhere we can only get to by plane.'  The sergeant crossed his arms across his chest and glared at everyone.

'Magic.'  Murdock said from behind him.  'We just snap our fingers and there we all are.  Magic always makes you tired BA that's why you go to sleep.'

'Someone shut him up before I do it myself.'

Katie laid a hand on BA's arm and the big black man's harsh look abruptly softened.  He still remembered when Katie had been a kid and had just lost her dad; he'd always had a soft spot for her just as he had for all kids.

'Sorry.'  He said quietly but Murdock heard it and whooped in amazement.

'Did ya all hear that!!!!!!!  He apologised for yelling at me; he apologised.'

'I wasn't apologising to you fool, I was apologising to her.'

'You never apologise to me, why is that, why do you always yell at me?  You all pick on me.'  Murdock slipped into a sulk.

'I don't apologise to you because you're a crazy fool and you deserve all you can get.'

'That's enough.'  Katie said firmly and with a touch of anger.  'We have more important things to worry about, my mom is in danger and you're arguing.  Neither of you mean what you're saying.'  She turned away and all in the van were for once silent, even Murdock couldn't come up with a crazy reply to that one.  He settled on a tearful sniff instead.  BA was just quiet.

'Hannibal, what's the plan?'  Face asked for want of something to say.  

'I'll tell you when we get to Mexico.'

'Do you even have a plan?'  BA asked.

'Oh yes but you'll have to wait.  Murdock is there anything to drink in the bag back there, I'm feeling a little thirsty.'

Murdock rummaged around in the bag beside him.  'Yeah there's some milk left from this morning.'  He handed the carton to Katie who gave it to Hannibal.  She sneaked a sideways look at BA.  He was staring longingly at the carton.

'Anyone else want some?' She asked and BA nodded.

Katie handed him a carton and he stared at it for a moment before looking at her and then opening the carton and downing the milk more or less in one go.

He smiled and then fell forward unconscious.

'Nice.'  Hannibal said.    'Good work there, Katie.'

'Thanks Hannibal.'

'Take a left here Face and step on it we don't have much time.'  Hannibal sat back with a satisfied smile. Phase one was in place.

*** 

Katie looked around the small airport and her eyes drifted back to the small plane.  It was beautiful but up close she was suddenly unsure as to whether she'd be able to get on it.  Just looking at it brought back those memories of Murdock and her father on that first and only time she'd been up in the air.  Tears pricked at her eyelids.

'Let's go.'  Murdock ordered.  He was brimming with excitement and it made her smile just to look at him.  He was like an excited child; he could barely keep still.  

Murdock grabbed her hand and yanked her towards the plane.  'Come on, there's no time to just look at it.  We need to fly it.'

Katie pulled back and he stopped, turning to look at her in confusion.  'What?'  He asked.  'You don't want to go?'

'It's not that.'  She faltered and dropped her eyes.  'I want to, I want to help but I don't know if I can get on the plane, Murdock.'

His eyes softened and he hugged her briefly.  Holding her at arms length he looked at her.  'You're gonna love it up there.  Just because it brings back memories of your daddy don't mean it's a bad thing.  Besides, you wanted crazy and I'm never crazier than when I'm flying.'  His eyes sparkled and he practically glowed.

She managed a smile and he beamed back.  'Ok.'

'Good.'  He slipped an arm around her shoulders and they entered the plane.

She looked around; it seemed comfortable enough.  Hannibal and Face had seated BA next to the window and he was sleeping peacefully.  She hoped that the drugs lasted; she'd hate to be in their shoes if he woke up mid-flight.

'You gonna come up front and learn from the master?'  Murdock asked still grinning insanely.

Katie took a seat next to Murdock and watched as he eased himself down into the pilot's seat with a sigh of contentment.  Out of the window she could see the runway stretching away and the grass and dirt flanking it.  

Murdock reached up and pulled down the radio mike.  'Ok passengers this is your captain.  We will shortly be taking off and I would like to remind you that this flight is sponsored by Insane Airlines where you can guarantee mayhem and madness.  No Smoking and seatbelt signs are switched on. We are preparing for take-off.'

Katie strapped in and waited in apprehension as Murdock started the plane.  They rolled along the runway gathering speed as they went and Katie began to remember how much she had enjoyed this the last time.  As they left the ground Murdock let out a whoop of delight. 'Yabba dabba dooo.' 

Katie looked down at the ground fascinated by how small everything looked.  'They look like ants.'  She said with a grin and Murdock looked out the window shaking his head.

'They are ants, see that's the Elvis ant, I always said he'd come back someday and look, that's the John Lennon ant.  We have all the celebrities out in force today.'

Katie knew what he was trying to do; he was trying to take her mind off the things that were bothering her.  She had to admit he was doing a pretty good job but not good enough.  She could still feel the echoes of her father all around her, the echoes of the time when he'd been in the cockpit beside her and she and Murdock had been 14 years younger.

Murdock hummed as he flew and there was a smile on his face.  A smile that said that he was exactly where he wanted to be and he wouldn't care if he stayed here forever.

'So, do you want to know my plan?'  Hannibal asked appearing by Katie's shoulder.  He was grinning round a mouthful of cigar.  It was almost scary, there was a light in his eyes and Katie thought jazz was exactly the right word for it.

'You said you'd tell us when we got to Mexico.'

'I only said that 'cos BA was still awake.'

'So what is the plan?'  Katie asked she was eager to know, eager to get some action.  Some bad guys needed pounding and she was all for it.

'Yes, what is the plan?'  Face asked materializing beside Hannibal.  'I was beginning to think you didn't have one.'

'Now Face, you know me, I always have a plan.  I called Amy today and I'll call her again when we reach Mexico, she's going to find out where Carl has his apartment.  Then we'll get the apartment in the block opposite to his, Face try to get one that looks into his if you can.  I want to know what this guy is doing, that'll make things a lot easier.'

'Me?'  Face asked.  'Why do I have to do everything, I had to get the house, the plane and now an apartment with a view.  What's next?'

'Face!'  Hannibal said in shocked amusement.  'You should know better than that, never ask that around me.  But since you asked…'

Face groaned and disappeared back into the cabin.  

'Just think of the women you can pick up while you're off scamming all this stuff.'  Katie called back, Face's head popped back into view almost instantly.

'Well, you do have a point there.'  

Katie smiled and closed her eyes.  'You guys, you're always bickering.'

'We're family, we love each other really we just don't always get along.'  Murdock said.

Katie nodded and fidgeted in her seat.  'I just wish this was over already.'

'I promise you by the end of the week we'll be back in LA.  I'll take you to dinner and maybe even a movie.'  Face said with his wide smile.

Murdock reached back and slapped Face's arm.  'Stop it.'

'Stop what, what am I doing?'  Face asked playing the innocent.

'Stop hitting on her.'  Murdock growled.

'I was not…we're friends, I was just being friendly that's all.'

'You never take me to dinner.'  Murdock accused not believing him for a second.

'No, you don't take me to dinner either.'  Hannibal said dryly.  

'Well that's different, we're more likely to be spotted, and, and…'

Shaking his head in amusement Hannibal retreated back to his seat.

'Oh put him out of his misery, please.'  Katie laughed.  'Look Face, I like you, you're nice, a little too nice maybe but I'm not going to dinner with you, I'm just too young for you.'

'A little too nice?'  Face asked astounded.  'How can I be 'a little too nice'? And I was not…'

'Oh calm down, you've had worse I'm sure.  Stop being a baby, you must get rejections from women all the time.'

Face was sitting there with his mouth open as she talked.  Murdock shrieked with laughter, he enjoyed seeing Face get a lecture from a twenty year old.  

'I do not get rejections all the time, I was trying to be nice but you obviously don't appreciate that.'

Katie smirked.  'What I don't appreciate is getting hit on by someone who is old enough to be my father!'

Face just stared at her unable to form words.  Murdock was crying with laughter, the exchange between the two of them was just too funny; it was great seeing his friend like this.  He always thought he was good with the ladies and to see him dealt with in this way was just priceless.

Katie sighed as she saw the lieutenant's expression.  'I'm sorry, you can't help it, you're just natural flirt.'

'I was not hitting on you!'  Face protested.

Katie frowned.  'Oh I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood.  Murdock, Face was actually hitting on you, not me.  My apologies.'

'I…' Face disappeared back into the cabin and Katie stretched.  

'I really enjoyed that.'  She said to Murdock.  

'I know.  Me too.'  He told her.

'Hannibal's plan, doesn't it sound an awful lot like the one he had when we were in San Diego?'

Murdock shrugged.  'I know Hannibal, he's probably mapping it all out in his head, he'll tell us when he's ready.'

'Maybe I should apologise to Face for teasing him like that, I think he actually took it seriously.'

'Maybe you should, after all you did insult him.'  Face said from behind her.

'Oh hello.'  She smiled at him.  'I was only teasing before Face, I know you were just being nice.'

'Oh thank you.'  He said dryly.  'Hannibal says he'll brief us when we get to Mexico, he wants to know how much you know about Carl.'

Katie shrugged.  'Gambler, friends with my stepfather, I think he's been in prison for a while; all in all I don't like him.  He's scum.'

'Well, scum is what we deal with best so I don't think you need to worry.'  Face smiled again but it didn't quite reach his eyes.  She had hurt his feelings.

*** 

Katie looked around the apartment.  'Face you are amazing, I can't believe you managed to get this apartment.'

'I know.'  Face said not at all modestly.  He leaned back and watched her look around the apartment.  Murdock was seated in front of the TV and BA was with Hannibal organising some weapons.  BA hadn't been pleased to find himself in Mexico without his van.  It taken some expert lying from Hannibal and Murdock's craziest talk to calm him down.

Katie turned and looked out of the window and into the window of Carl's apartment.  The curtains were drawn but Amy's sources had informed Hannibal that that was his apartment.  Now all there was to do was wait for Hannibal and BA to come back so that they could get to work.

As if on cue the colonel walked in the door of the apartment followed by BA who was complaining about the car they'd rented.

'It's a heap of junk, Hannibal.'

'Talk to Face, sergeant, he was the one who scammed the car.'  

'Faceman.'  BA said menacingly.

'What now?'  Face asked exasperated.  He'd spent all day wandering round trying to get things for Hannibal and he was exhausted.

'That car you got is junk, why couldn't we have brought my van.'

'BA I explained this to you already, the van was too easy to spot, an unknown car is less conspicuous.'

BA just sat down shaking his head angrily.  'You guys drugged me and put me on a plane again, didn't ya?'

'Oh BA, we would never, never do that to you.'  Murdock said not taking his eyes off the TV set.

'Shut up.'  Came the reply and Murdock shrugged moodily but kept quiet.

Katie sat back and listened to Hannibal and Face go on about frontal assaults and pincer movements.  It was all too confusing for her to take in, she accepted the glass of milk that Face handed to her and drank it thirstily.

A couple of seconds later the world went dark.

Murdock shook his head sadly as he looked over at the drugged Katie.  'I wish we didn't have to do that, she's gonna be mad when she wakes up.'

'It's the best way, she'll sleep for a while, long enough for us to get things done.'

BA giggled.  'For once it's not me getting drugged.'  He looked pleased with himself.

Hannibal briskly began giving orders.  'BA you're with me, Murdock go with Face and see what you can get done. Better change clothes before you go. Report back here in an hour.'


	8. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Face signalled to Murdock and the pilot loosened the ventilation shaft.  It came open easily; he stood on the table and looked up into the dark hole.  He couldn't see a thing but gradually his eyes adjusted to what little light there was.  He'd just about be able to fit in here.

They were in the laundry room; Face had got them in using the classic safety inspection scam.  It had worked a treat and they were already working on how to get Karen out of the building.  Face only hoped that they'd get far enough to use the ventilation shaft as an escape.  He'd already seen some of Carl's sidekicks and they looked mean and armed.

Murdock got down from the chair and nodded at Face.  'Yeah, I can fit in there, might be a tight squeeze but I'll make it.'

Face nodded and they moved things back to where they had been when they'd entered.  The door of the laundry room could be opened from the inside so they wouldn't have to worry about anyone locking it.

Now that the escape route was mapped out all they had to do was figure a way of getting into Carl's apartment and getting Karen out.  Not an easy task, Face had already been to the apartment but Carl's heavy's hadn't let him in at all.  He'd literally had the door slammed in his face.

'Murdock you go on back to the apartment, I've got some things to do.  I'll meet you back there.'  

Murdock nodded, he had a feeling that the 'things' that Face had to do were really a woman but he didn't question his friend.  His mind was racing, running through everything that he had to do to get Karen out of there and all the possible scenarios he might have to have ready.

He walked up to their new apartment with his hands in his pockets, Billy trotted at his ankles but Murdock barely noticed him.  He unlocked the door and walked in, waited for Billy to enter and then closed the heavy door shut behind him.

He headed towards the bedroom where they'd put Katie.  He opened the door and peeked in, there was a hump under the bedclothes; she was still asleep.  He crept in and put a finger to his lips to signal Billy to keep quiet.  He stood by the bed and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder but his hand froze in mid air as he realised that there was no sound of breathing.

A horrible kind of certainty stole over him and he pulled back the bedclothes revealing pillows arranged to resemble a person.  The oldest trick in the book, one he'd practiced on more than one occasion and he'd fallen for it, almost anyway.  And if she wasn't asleep in bed that meant there was only one other place she would be.  

He all but flew to the window searching Carl's apartment for her but he could see nothing it was too far away.  He grabbed the binoculars that were in his bag and looked through them.  There, he saw her being shoved onto a sofa by Carl who was obviously offended by something she'd said or done.

Murdock didn't have time to think; he just acted.  He ripped off his cap and stuffed it in his back pocket, grabbing the bath robe from the back of the door he donned it, tying it as tight as he could so as not to show his leather bomber jacket.

Next he grabbed paper and a pen, scribbling down a note he left it on the bed and was halfway out the door when he turned around.

'No, Billy, stay here.  It's too dangerous, just stay here and guard the note, make sure no one steals it, very important job, only you can do it Billy.'  The dog looked up at him with intelligent eyes and Murdock nodded at the empty air where he saw the dog.

He left the apartment at a run but slowed down as he crossed the street.  He raced up the stairs and then began a slow shuffle to Carl's apartment.  Fumbling in his pocket he pulled out a key and fitted it in the lock.  It being the key to the apartment in the building he'd just left it didn't open the door but still he continued trying to unlock the door, finally he gave it a hefty kick.

'Mary, did ya change the locks again?'  He bellowed in his gruffest voice.  'Mary!  Let me in woman!!!'

The door was yanked open and he nearly fell over.  'What the hell do you want?  This ain't your apartment you nut.'  The guy was big, bigger than BA and he looked meaner, if that was even possible.  'Now scram.'

'What you doing in my apartment?'  Murdock asked angrily.  'That's my apartment, get out before I call the cops.'

The man rolled his eyes and poked Murdock in the chest.  'I said, leave you nut.  Jeez, why do we have to get all the crazy's.'

Murdock shook his head regretfully.  'Oh I really wish you hadn't done that, I like this robe.'  That said he punched the guy. The man reeled backwards but recovered quickly.  Not quickly enough, however, because Murdock was in the doorway like a shot.  

The other guy smacked his fist into Murdock's stomach and then opening a door he threw Murdock through it and into the room beyond.

Murdock sprawled on his back could only see the brass light fittings and white washed ceiling.  A figure loomed over him and pulled him to his feet; in one swift movement he hit Murdock.   

Murdock reeled back, his lip split and bleeding but when he had regained his balance he looked at the man who had hit him. The guy was medium height, dark haired with a beard and a scar on his right cheek.  It took Murdock a moment but he remembered the guy, younger and with longer hair but still the same man, still with the hard look in his eyes that meant he thought he could take on the world and win.

'Carlos.'  He said and spat out a mouthful of blood.  His eyes flickered to the sofa; Katie was sitting there with a terrified expression on her face.

Murdock winked at her and then turned back to Carl.  'I really missed ya Carlos; I never got a chance to tell you how sorry I was for what I did.  I just want you to know that I don't blame you for a being a low-life scumbag.'  He smiled jovially and rocked back on his heels.  'They've been teaching me all about forgiving at the VA, I've been evaluating my feelings towards you and I think I have some repressed anger that I need to get out.  Just wanted to tell you that and that I think you're the biggest piece of filth I ever laid eyes on.  You're head's way too big and you have this personality issue, probably 'cos you don't have a personality.'  He smiled his biggest grin and was rewarded with another punch.  He moved aside but didn't quite make it, Carl's fist connected with his jaw and Murdock fell to the floor.

'Stop it.'  Katie yelled.  'Just stop it.'  She sounded near tears and Murdock knew he had to think fast.

'You think you can come in here and start talking that crap, forget it Captain.  You're crazy and I'm gonna treat you exactly the same as I would any other crazy person.'  He kicked Murdock in the stomach and the pilot curled up trying to curb the pain.  He gritted his teeth and forced himself to get up.

'You should come down and see us sometime Carlos, you'd be right at home.  And as one nut to another can I just say that I liked your hair better when you wore it long, hid that nasty scar, love the beard though.'  Murdock grinned.  'Oh you know I'm really enjoying this but I'm gonna have to leave the party early, as much as I love you I've got a damsel in distress to rescue, well actually I have two now but anyway, I gotta love ya and leave ya.'  He blew Carl a kiss and ducked away from the punch that was aimed at his face.  He managed to avoid another one aimed at his ribs.  Hell, being the wise ass of the group always seemed to help Face keep his cool, why couldn't he try it once in a while.

Katie launched herself from her seat and flew at Carl.  'Leave him alone.'  She said forcefully.  'He's nothing to do with this, you want money from my step dad, you're keeping my mom hostage but Murdock is nothing do with any of that.'

Murdock felt almost proud, she was obviously scared but she kept her head and managed to yell at Carl.  Still, it was a stupid thing to do; this guy was almost as unstable as he was and in a bad way.

Instead of venting his rage on the girl though, Carl just laughed.  'Oh baby, you really don't know anything about this do you?'  He touched her hair gently and stroked her cheek with one finger. 

Murdock holding his stomach pushed down the urge to slug the guy, he didn't have the energy for a fight anymore.

'You're the reason he's here; you're the reason they're all here.  You hired them just like I knew you would.'

Katie turned pale, she didn't move and Carl continued to caress her cheek with his slender fingers.  He leaned forward and whispered something that Murdock didn't hear.

'Leave her alone, she's just a kid.'  Murdock tried the sane approach, that one seemed to work quite well in the movies, or then again maybe it didn't, Murdock couldn't really remember right now.

Carl laughed.  'Jeez, you never change do ya; I mean you're crazy now but you've still got to be the one with the morals.  You must just love it in that place, all locked up, fighting with the A-Team is the only way you get to fly isn't it?  I mean why would they let a crazy nut like you fly, you'd probably end up killing someone.'

Murdock's blood boiled over, they could hit him and hurt him, they could call him crazy but they could say nothing about his flying, flying was all he had.  He yanked the gun out of the bathrobe and aimed it squarely at Carl.

'You're right Carl, I am crazy, I see stuff that isn't there, I talk to myself, I sing a lot and I have dog that no one else can see.  I have about a thousand friends that aren't real and I fly as if I have death wish but I haven't killed any innocent people yet.  Still, once you get past all of that, I can point and shoot just fine.'

Carl grabbed Katie by her neck and pulled her in front of him.  'Go on shoot, kill her like you killed her old man.'

Murdock fired the gun.  The bullet whistled by Carl's ear and broke the glass mirror just behind him.  Carl snickered sarcastically.  'Sure you can shoot just fine.'

'That was supposed to miss, idiot.'  Katie told him rolling her eyes.  'He's not going to shoot me.'

'Oh I know that princess, I know that.'

Murdock tossed the gun behind him and it hit the floor with a thump.  'You're not going to make me sing are you Carl, please don't make me sing.  I'd just hate for us to part on unfriendly terms here.'  He shrugged off the bathrobe, pulled out his cap and set it on his head.

'Of course, parting on unfriendly terms like sending a friend to prison, yeah you and Tony did real good there, Murdock, I just loved my time inside.'

'I've heard the food's good there been meaning to try it out but never got round to it.'

'Ok, enough with the talk.'  Carl pulled out a gun and pushed Katie towards Murdock.  He put his arms round her.

'You ok, muchacho?'

Katie nodded and Murdock moved in front of her, shielding her if Carl decided to fire the gun.

'Oh, please, enough with the heroics, I have work to be getting on with and I really don't want you trying to play the big guy taking up too much of my time.  If I have to shoot you Murdock, I'll do it, maybe I'll just pump a few rounds into the kid too.'

'Touch her again and you'll regret it.  And that's a promise not just crazy talk.'  His hand tightened on Katie's arm and he tried to indicate to the back of his jacket.  She was clinging to his jacket tightly.  Again he put a small amount of pressure on her arm and she finally caught on to what he meant.

Carefully she eased the gun out of the waistband of his trousers.  He hadn't come in here with just one gun; he understood that he couldn't hope to beat Carl that way.  Even when he hadn't known that was Carl was someone he knew, he'd known that he couldn't just pin his hopes on the one gun.

Katie hefted the gun and whirled round and put a shot into one of Carl's heavies, it got him in the leg.  Murdock was impressed but had a feeling that it was really a fluke.  Still, for first-timer she'd managed to hit something.  Not that it was a good thing that someone her age was handling a gun.

The other man ran at her and Murdock had the gun out of Katie's hand in seconds.  He clubbed the guy over his head and a shot rang out.  Carl had used his gun, shattering the glass in the TV set.

The distraction was enough for a red-haired man to kick the gun out of Murdock's hand.  The guy's leg came at him in a roundhouse kick that caught Murdock on the chin; he fell backwards smacking his head on the edge of the stone fireplace.  Everything faded away and he was only just aware of Katie screaming out his name.

*** 

When he awoke he was in a small room, Katie was sitting with her back to him, rocking back and forth muttering under her breath.  That was bad news, he'd seen people do that at the VA, they were usually so far out of their minds that they couldn't even begin to find their way back.  Murdock was always thankful that his craziness hadn't extended that far, not yet anyway and certainly not now.  He had to think and thinking was hard when the purple wobblies came a-knocking.

'Katie?'  He asked sitting up and rubbing his head where it had connected with the rough stone.

Her head whipped around so fast he thought she was trying to attempt an Exorcist twist.  She threw herself at him and hugged him with relief.  She'd been terrified that he'd been seriously hurt.  He let out a sound that was half laughter and half pain.  He took a minute to look at her and make sure she wasn't hurt; she seemed fine.

'God, don't do that to me.'  She told him.  'I was really worried, I thought that was it for you.'  She closed her eyes.  'And it would have been all my fault.'

Murdock frowned.  'What're you talking about?'

'Carl never wanted money from Eddie, my stepfather, he wanted you, he's got a grudge against you for something that you and Dad did to him years ago.  He wants to kill you and then turn the rest of the team over to the Feds, he's hoping to get a lot of money out of it.'

Murdock took off his cap, smoothed his hair and then replaced it back on his head.  'He's on the run from the Feds himself, they'll just throw him back in prison.'

'He's gonna get Eddie to turn them in.'

'Nope.'  Murdock said.  'He's not because we are on a mission and we are going to get out of here right now.'  He stood up and then sat down again.  'Just as soon as the room stops spinning.'  He looked around.  'Ooooh, look at all the stars.'

Katie hid a grin. 'What's the plan?'

'Give me a minute, Hannibal's the creative one, I have trouble with the plans.'

'Well, it might be wise to give it some time anyway.'  She pointed to the small bed in the corner.  Her mother, Karen was lying on it unconscious.  Murdock could see the dark marks on her arm where they'd injected drugs to keep her sedated.  He felt a flash of anger, they were really gonna pay now, they were gonna wish they'd never messed with Howlin' Mad Murdock.  And of course, once BA heard about it, they were little more than a mushy pulp anyway.  Boy was he gonna be mad.

Murdock walked over to the bed and looked at Karen.  She didn't seem to be too bad, just unconscious; he had to find some way of getting her out of it.  He thought for a minute and rubbed his head as it began to ache.  All this intense thought, not good for him, he was supposed to concentrate on just two things, being crazy and flying. Everyone else did the hard work.

He hummed under his breath as he thought; it was surprisingly helpful especially when the brass band in his head joined in.  He tapped his feet and then caught sight of Katie's expression and stopped.  

'Any ideas how we wake her?'  He asked.

'I thought you were the expert on that, you told me you drug BA all the time, how do you wake him up.'

'We don't, he usually wakes himself up, especially when we crash the plane, then he's up like a shot.  Makes life difficult sometimes, if only he'd get over the fear and embrace the wonder of flying then we could get on with it.'  Murdock sighed and looked at Karen again.  'Karen.'  He whispered under his breath.  He shook her gently.  Nothing, the woman remained as lifeless as before.

Then a thought struck him, he pulled out his invisible harmonica and began to play it.  Katie sat down and sunk her head in her hands.  He was really starting to lose it again and she needed him at least halfway sane.  She couldn't cope with this on her own.

Murdock stopped playing the harmonica dejectedly.  He was running out of ideas, short of just yelling as loudly as he could.  He stood up and then began to dance.

Katie stared at him in bewilderment; he looked funny dancing around like that.  'Murdock what you doing?'  She asked when she could find her voice to ask.

'Rain dance.'  He said still dancing.

'You want it to rain in here?'  She asked incredulously.  'How is that gonna help.'

'I dunno, I was running out of ideas, just thought it might do something.'  He stood still and shoved his hands in his pockets.  He was beginning to worry and he didn't like it, whenever he was nervous Hannibal would always come through with a brilliant plan.  Once he'd even come up with one himself, or rather his pet roach had.  Right now though the bright ideas seemed out of reach.

He hated seeing Katie like this, he wanted to do something, and it was bad enough that she'd lost a father now she was on the verge of losing her mother as well.  

He looked over at Karen again and in a low voice began to talk.  'Come on muchacho wake up now.'  He looked back at Katie who was sitting against the wall, head buried in her hands.  

'Come Karen wake up.' He reached over and stroked her hair softly.  Karen, who had always been like a sister, even a surrogate mother to him at times, didn't stir.  He felt angry, he knew why she was like this and he knew now why Katie was here.  

Carl had set this whole thing up, he was mad at Murdock and thought some revenge was in order now that he was finally in a position to dish it out.  Murdock wished Carl had concentrated his revenge on just him and not involved his friends because now Murdock had to deal out some revenge of his own and it wasn't going to be pretty.

There was a jug of water by the bed; Murdock poured some into the glass on the table next to the jug.  He lifted Karen's head up gently and then let some water spill out onto her lips.  She began to stir in his arms.

'There we go.'  He said coaxingly and replaced the glass on the table.

'Karen, you ok?'  Murdock asked as Katie's mother finally regained consciousness.  Katie was there beside him in an instant.  

'Mom?'  She asked shakily and Karen smiled.

'Hey, baby, you ok? What happened to your eye?' She touched the dark mark where Carl had hit Katie.

'Doesn't matter, I'm fine.'

Karen sat up and ran a hand through her blond hair.  'God, I feel as I've been asleep for a week.'

'Closer than you think.'  Murdock laughed.

Karen's attention was suddenly focused on him and she put her arms round him, hugging him tightly. 'What are you doing here, you're supposed to be in a mental hospital in LA?'

'When you went missing, Katie called us, we're on a mission to get you home.'

'Us?  You mean the A-Team?'

'The one and only.'

'This is amazing, you guys took time out from avoiding the Feds to come get me.'

'Yeah, pretty much.  Can you stand?'

'I'm fine.'  Karen got to her feet and put a hand on Murdock's shoulder to steady herself.  

Murdock looked at her worriedly.  'Karen, we're getting out that way, think you can make it?'  He pointed to the ventilation shaft in the ceiling.

'Easily.'  She said defiantly.

'Karen, be honest with me.  I'm not leaving you behind here and once we get up there, chances are, we can't come back, not that I'd want to.  My point is and I do have one, I'm not sure we can get you out if you collapse on us.  If you can't make it I'll find some other way out.'

'I can make it Murdock.  I'm just a little woozy, give me a minute.'  Her brown eyes flashed in anger and he smiled to see it.

'Good to see you again, Karen.'

'And you, you have no idea how good.'

'Oh, I have some idea.'  He helped her sit down on the bed and then grabbed a chair from under the window.  Placing it underneath the ventilation shaft he stood on it.  Removing the grill he handed it down to Katie and got down again.

'Ok, Katie I want you to go first, Karen you go next and I'll be behind you.  Then wait and I'll go ahead.'

Katie nodded and swallowed hard; she didn't relish the idea of crawling into that dark, cramped space.  But now wasn't the time for this, they had to get out and this was as good a way as any.  Besides, Murdock knew what he was doing, he usually did.

Murdock laced his hands together and Katie placed a foot into them.  Using his hand a leverage she placed her hands on his shoulders and pulled herself up to the dark space above her.  Murdock gave her a leg up and she was soon sitting in the ventilation duct.  As quietly as she could she eased backwards waiting until Murdock would help her mother up. 

Murdock lifted her mother up and Katie grabbed hold of her and got her into the ventilation shaft.  Next Murdock handed her the grill, she put beside her and gave him a hand to get himself up.  He sat opposite her, his legs dangling down into the room below.  She gave him the grill and pulling his legs up; he replaced it.  Turning round wasn't an easy job but he managed it and led them on into the dark.

Murdock went first, Karen behind him and Katie took the rear.  They passed several more grills and Katie looked down into the rooms below, in one of them an elderly couple were playing Go Fish, in another a young guy was making dinner for his girlfriend who was trying to help but was only succeeding in getting in the way.

She was glad for the distractions; it helped her forget about how closed in they were.  She suddenly realised that they'd stopped.  Murdock had come to a dead end, there was a wire mesh grill barring their way and it wouldn't budge no matter how hard he tried.  The ventilation duct widened here and he managed to get past Karen and crawl in beside Katie.

'We gotta find another way out.'  He whispered as low as he could.

'One of those rooms was empty, we could try that.'  Murdock nodded in approval and she slid forward as silently as she could.

It didn't take long to reach the room that she'd seen earlier, it was little more than a closet but it would have to do, better that they emerge from a broom closet than in a room where people were waiting.  Removing the meshed grill she set it aside and dropped down into the room below.

Next up was Murdock who hit the floor silently, he reached up and helped her mother down.  They stood together in the small room and Katie turned the doorknob.  The door was locked, she could have cried.

'It's locked.'  She said trying to keep desperation out of her voice.  Murdock tilted his head and eyed the door thoughtfully.

'Hmmm.'

'Anyone know how to pick locks?'  Karen asked and Murdock grinned suddenly.  Katie realised that she didn't like that grin, it was similar to the one she'd seen on Hannibal's face when he'd been telling about his great idea for finding out where Carl had gone.  The great idea that had included Murdock dressing up as a woman.

Murdock reached under his t-shirt and fumbled around for a moment.  When he withdrew his arms he was holding a bra.  Katie blinked; it was the one he'd been wearing last night.

'Murdock, that's my bra!'  She said indignantly.  Karen's eyes widened.

'Sorry, it was just so nice, I thought I'd just wear it for a day or two.'  

'I said you could wear it, I didn't say you could keep it.'

'I didn't know it was yours, I thought Face got it with the dress.'

'Someone like to explain what's going on?'

Katie looked at her mother's face and bit her lip.  How the hell did she begin to explain this?

'One of Hannibal's crazy ideas.'  Murdock supplied before she could open her mouth.  'He thought if I dressed up as a hooker, we'd be able to get information out of Carl.'

'I lent him my bra and he seems to have taking a liking to it.'

'Not for much longer.'  Murdock said.  'Shame, I liked it.  Pretty.'

'You don't need it Murdock, you don't have breasts!'

'You know you keep yelling like that, we can forget about getting out of here.'  Murdock told her. He ripped the bra and pulled out the under wire.  Katie's expression was one of profound displeasure.

'Good job I kept it or we'd have to use the one you're wearing.'  He put the wire into the lock and turned, nothing happened the wire was too thin.  Carefully he bent it and tried again, the door unlocked and Murdock treated them to a smug grin.

Shaking her head Katie opened the door and stepped out into the hall.  'I know you're crazy Murdock but that was bordering on gross.'

'You're not even going to say thank you are ya?  Just like BA, you always focus on the bad things I do, never the good stuff.'  He jammed his hands in his pockets and walked off dejectedly.

'I think you offended him, sweetheart.'  Karen told her daughter.  Katie gave her a look of amazement.

'You don't see anything wrong in that do you?'

'We're talking about Murdock, honey, he's crazy.'

Katie shook her head and followed Murdock towards the staircase.  He was running down them as fast as he could and she saw him leap over the banister.  Halfway down he stopped and looked up at her.

'You mad at me?'  

She didn't answer just carried on walking down the stairs, she waited until she was a step above him before answering.  'Mad?  No.  Worried?  Yes.  It's weird.'

'I am weird, along with crazy, insane, a fool and nuts.'  He smiled and Katie felt her angry resolve melting.

'Just as long as you don't decide to become a woman permanently.'  She walked past it.

'Wouldn't dream of it darling.'  He said.  'I guess since you're mad about the bra I shouldn't mention the panty hose.'

Katie whipped round and saw the expression on his face.  He was grinning, he'd only been teasing.  Karen stood beside him and laughed.  'Murdock, stop it, Katie don't listen to him, he's only joking.'

'Can we just get out of here?'  She said and then saw a figure walk out from the door behind her mother and Murdock.  He raised his gun.

'Hold it right there.'  Carl said, the gun was aimed straight at Katie's mom and she saw Murdock's grin slip right off his face.  Karen had frozen to the spot, raising her hands to shoulder height so that Carl could see she was empty handed.

'Carl…' She began.

'Quiet.'  He growled.  'Now turn towards me, slowly.'

While Karen was turning, Murdock inclined his head towards the staircase.  He was telling Katie to go.  She shook her head and mouthed no at him.  No way was she going anywhere while this creep had her mother at gunpoint.

'You too Captain and raise your hands, don't want to find you're hiding a gun there.'  

Murdock smiled.  'Wow, you really are better at this than I thought.  You should be given a medal, hey maybe when they give it to ya, they'll realise you're crazy and put ya in the VA.  We might even end up sharing rooms.'

Carl just laughed sardonically.  'Well, I don't think you'll be around for any of that and if your little girl there moves even one inch without me telling her to, her mother'll be so full of bullets it'll take them a month just to get them all out.'

Katie felt the cool, metal of a gun being pressed against the back of her head.  'Now if either of you two make a move, Danny boy there will blow her head off. So lets take this nice and slow, you all walk towards me, none of you do anything stupid and you'll all live, understood?'

They moved up the steps towards Carl who was illuminated menacingly in the harsh florescent lighting.  Katie couldn't believe it, all that just to end up back at square one.

She could see Murdock gauging the distance between himself and Carl.  She hoped he wouldn't try to do anything heroic, he was just going to get a bullet in him if he did.  That was the last thing they needed.

'Now, we're going to go up to the roof, then you'll all get in a chopper and we'll go on a little pleasure trip someplace where you can't trouble me anymore.'

They followed him out the door and into the elevator.  


	9. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Murdock had kept silent, even when he was bundled into the chopper.  He was running through several scenarios in his mind, all of them ended up the same way.  Someone was going to get hurt, none of them had guns and he couldn't risk Katie and Karen's lives on those kind of odds.  He wished Hannibal was here to think up some brilliant plan, heck Face would be making wisecrack comments, which would at least alleviate the tension, and BA would just start hitting people, which would mean they wouldn't even be in this situation in the first place.  Damn it, he couldn't even think of one crazy thing to say.

Beside him Katie whispered something, something about being sorry.  This made him feel angrier, she had somehow got it into her head that it was her fault they were in this mess.  It wasn't, sure she'd rushed into Carl's apartment without even thinking it through but she was just a kid, he should have known better to try and do this on his own without the others behind him.  Not that he couldn't do it, normally he could but he had her and her mother to think about and he couldn't risk them getting hurt so all the usual ways of getting himself out of trouble went out the window.

'Not your fault.'  He murmured loud enough for her to hear but low enough so that Carl wouldn't catch it.  He just hoped that a brilliant idea struck him sometime soon or they were dead.  The prospect wasn't appealing and to make it worse he was starting to feel the craziness come creeping back, it was getting harder to think straight.  The purple wobblies were closing in and the walls were starting to melt.

He'd have to wait until they landed before he even attempted anything.  He was glad Billy was back at the apartment, Face would make sure he was ok; at least someone was safe.

They landed in the Mexico desert, the sun was warm on the back of his neck and as Danny, the pilot hauled them out of the chopper he was aware of how late it was.  The shadows were longer than they should have been.  

'I'm sorry did you say something?'  Murdock asked and Danny just glared at him.  'Oh, must have been the guy standing next to you.'  When Danny turned Murdock hit him as hard as he could.  The guy went down and Murdock found himself staring down the barrel of Carl's gun.  He froze.

'You know I think that maybe if you opened your mind just a little bit you'd see that there's no harm in seeing stuff that isn't there.  Give me a chance, I mean you haven't even heard me play my harmonica yet.'

Katie moved round behind Carl as he kept the gun firmly trained on Murdock.  Murdock kept talking.  'I mean where's the harm, we used to be buddy's.'

'And then you and Tony sent me to prison.'

'Tony's dead and I'm crazy, isn't it time to put all that behind us?'

'I know he's dead, I know the guy who shot him.'  Murdock saw Katie freeze, her expression one of deep shock.  This was bad, very bad and getting worse by the minute.

'That should be past tense there, Carl, that guy's dead now.'

'Like you will be if you don't shut up.'

'I'm crazy.  I never shut up.  I just go on and on and on and on and on and on…' He kicked Carl's gun out of his hand and flung himself at him.  They tumbled to the ground, Murdock hit him but the guy blocked it easily.  He managed to grab the gun but Murdock caught hold of his wrist before he could bring it up to fire.

Carl's other hand caught Murdock a blow on the chin.  His head rocked back and Carl brought the gun up and smacked him across the face with it.  Murdock fell back in the dirt, head pounding.  Carl kicked him in the stomach and Murdock grabbed his ankle as he drew it back for another.  He yanked his feet from under him and Carl went down arms flailing as he fought to regain his balance.

Both men wrestled for the gun and Carl got a shot off before Murdock could stop him.  Murdock smacked Carl's wrist against a rock and he let go of the gun letting out a howl of rage and pain.  Still Carl fought on, he smacked the heel of his hand into Murdock's face and blood spurted from his nose.  Carl was on top of him now, his large hands wrapped around the pilot's neck, choking him.

Murdock, struggling for air, managed to reach up punch the man knocking him backwards, senseless and Murdock sat up dazed and pulling much needed air into his lungs.  He looked over and saw Katie lying in the dirt with Karen leaning over her.  He scrambled to his feet and raced to her side. Carl's last shot had hit her. Blood was pouring from her thigh, just above the knee.  He felt momentary panic overwhelm him before fighting it down and turning to Karen.

'Give me your belt.'  He ordered. Karen just stared at him dumbfounded, she was scared and he didn't have time for her to lose it on him.  'Karen.'  He said again.  'Your belt, I have to stop the bleeding.'

Karen took the belt from around her waist and gave it to him.  Murdock tied it around Katie's leg, pulling it tight to staunch the flow of blood.  Katie gave a low groan of pain and he squeezed her shoulder tightly.  Her eyes rolled up in her head and she passed out.  'Katie.'  He yelled.  'Katie!'  She didn't respond. ' Damn it, stay with me!'  Still nothing.  He reached and slapped her smartly across her cheek.  Her eyes opened. ' Stay awake, sweetheart; just stay awake.  I'm gonna get us out of here.'  He scooped the girl up in his arms and headed for the chopper a look of grim determination on his face.

He laid Katie on the front seat and got in next to her.  Karen took the back.  Katie curled up shivering even though it was mercilessly hot in the chopper.  Murdock took off his jacket and laid it over her, she stopped shivering. 'Let's go.'  He said and took off.

Several times on that nightmare journey he thought he was gonna lose her but each time she came back to consciousness.  Flying one handed he held her hand, letting go only when he had to.  He was aware of just one thing: the fact that the girl whose hand he was holding was dying.  He wasn't sure just how bad the gunshot wound was but she was losing blood fast, way too fast.

He crossed the Mexico state line and flew the chopper to the nearest hospital.  Landing outside the ER he again scooped her up into his arms and ran in.  They took her from him and a doctor apprehended him firing questions until he just yelled at him to help her.  As soon as Katie vanished from their sight, Karen broke down in his arms.

*** 

While Murdock was busy crawling through ventilation shafts, BA was just entering the apartment.  The place seemed quiet which was nice, the fool's chatter was starting to grate on his nerves and Katie should be safely out of the way while all this went down.

He pulled a carton of milk out of the refrigerator and poured himself a glass.  He downed it in one go, savouring the cool liquid sliding down his throat.  It had been a long afternoon.

Behind him the front door to the apartment opened and Face walked in humming a tune under his breath.  'Hello.'  He said walking over the coach and sitting down with a sigh of contentment.  'Where's Murdock?'  He asked putting his hands behind his head.

BA just shrugged, he was too busy searching through the cupboards looking for food.  A couple of cookies would go down nicely with the milk.

'That's strange, he should have been back, he said he was coming straight back to check on Katie.  Is she still asleep?'

'I dunno man, I don't keep tabs on the fool and I haven't checked on the girl yet.'  BA was annoyed why did Face just expect him to know these things.  

Getting up the lieutenant moved towards the bedroom, he opened the door.  Moving inside he saw the note on the empty bed.  This did not look good.  Picking up the note he scanned it.

'Oh great!'  He said sarcastically.  He went back into the living area just as Hannibal entered.  As Murdock would say it would really hit the fan now.

'What's great?' The colonel asked; he did not look as if he were in the mood for bad news.  Also not good, if Hannibal was on the jazz he'd just come up with a plan, if he wasn't and was in a bad mood to boot he'd just get annoyed.

Face handed him the note, he hated to be the bearer of bad news, well unless he was giving it to the bad guys.

Hannibal read the note and gave a short irritated laugh.  BA took the note from him and read it too.  'Great, what we gonna do now, Hannibal?  She's gone over there and he's gone after her, that's totally blown our cover.'

'That's not so much my concern, their lives could be in danger.'  Hannibal shook his head.  'He should have waited, we could all have gone in together as a team.'

'This is precisely why I said we should have left her behind.'  Face said.  'But as usual you all just went about it in your own way.'

'Nah.' BA put in. 'If we'd have left her behind Murdock would have worried, she'd have run away and things would probably be much worse.  At least we know where they are.'

'BA's right on that score.  Unfortunately, Murdock didn't think, he just rushed in after her.'

'So what are you suggesting we do, Hannibal?  Rush right in there after them?'

Hannibal only grinned and Face could see that was exactly what Hannibal had in mind.

'Oh man, you're on the jazz again.'  BA shook his head, now things were going to get really screwy.

'Just one problem.'  Face said pointing out the window.  The other two looked in the direction he was pointing.  Clearly seen against the brilliant blue of the Mexican sky was a helicopter taking off from the roof.

'Murdock?'  BA asked.

'No.' Hannibal murmured.  'Not his style.'

'What?  That's exactly his style Hannibal, take off and take Katie and her mom someplace safe.'  BA argued, he was starting to really get annoyed, things were not going as planned.  It was all getting worse by the minute.

'I mean it's not his flying style.  Besides I think Murdock would come back here first.  No, I'll judge that's Carl and he has Murdock, Karen and Katie with him.'

'Then what are we supposed to do?  We can't fly after them, how are we supposed to find them?'

'All good things come to those who wait and if we wait long enough something should happen.'

'We wait long enough Hannibal and somebody is gonna wind-up dead.'  BA didn't want to wait not when his friends were in trouble.

'We don't have any choice, Face is right; we can't go after that chopper without a pilot.  Even if Face could scam us a chopper and a pilot we have no way of knowing where they've gone or if we'd even catch them in time and besides BA, you won't fly anyway.  No, Murdock will do what he has to and we'll just have to do what we can in the meantime.'  Hannibal smiled.  'And that should be enough, more than enough.'  He was coming up with a plan.

*** 

Murdock dialled the number of the apartment, he was glad Face had decided to give it to him.  The phone rang and rang.  Finally someone picked up.  'Hello.'  Face's voice was wary.

'Faceman, it's Murdock.'

'Thank God, where are you?'  Face sounded relieved.

'Some hospital in San Diego.  Face, Katie's been shot, that mud sucker Carl shot her.'

'Is she ok.'

'Of course she's not ok, she's dying in there, Face.'  He took a second to compose himself and switched on his normal cheery self.  'They'll doing all they can but we have some guys to teach a lesson.  Figured you guys might want to help me with that.'

'Be glad to but we're still in Mexico, how are you going to get here?'

'I've got Carl's chopper, meet me on the roof of Carl's building in half an hour and make sure you're armed and ready.'

*** 

The chopper set down, Hannibal and Face all piled in with an unconscious BA between them.  Murdock didn't even bother greeting them just took off as soon as he could, heading for the desert.

'How was she when you left?'  Face asked quietly.

Murdock shrugged and it occurred to Face that the pilot wasn't wearing his jacket and his shirt was blood stained.  Things had obviously gone very, very bad.  And from the look in Murdock's eyes, the guy was out for revenge.  Face wasn't used to seeing his friend like this, he had a frightening look about him as if he was prepared to kill and didn't care.

Landing in the desert they could easily see the forms of Danny and Carl walking in the direction of the setting sun.  Murdock jumped out and grabbed a gun.  Now he was going to make Carl pay, he was going to let him know just how mad and upset he was.  He was going to make the scumbag regret shooting Katie; he was going to make him feel just how much pain she was in and how scared she must be.  He could just hear BA waking up behind him, making a lot of noise.

He marched forward aware that the others were looking at him with worried expressions on their faces.  Let them look he had work to do.  He strode up to Carl and grabbed his shoulder, turning him around he raised one eyebrow and slammed his fist as hard as he could into Carl's face.  The man went sailing backwards, landing heavily on his back and rolling over in the dirt.

BA was dealing with Danny and removing his gun, Murdock shot a circle of bullets in the sand around Carl.  The man stayed very still and Murdock loomed over him.

'How you feeling Carl?' He asked.  'Feel scared yet?'  He kicked the guy in the stomach like Carl had done to him earlier in the afternoon.  'Starting to hurt yet?'  He clubbed the guy over the head with his gun and Carl collapsed in the sand yet again.

He was pulled back by Face.  'Murdock…' Murdock shoved him away; he was going to get his revenge no matter who tried to stop him.

'She dies Carl and I swear I'll kill you, even if I end up in prison for it, I'll kill you.'  He didn't remember feeling this angry not since 'Nam anyway.  The crazy was gone just anger and hate now.  And sweet, sweet revenge.  He grabbed Carl by the front of his t-shirt and yanked him up to eye level.  'I'll make you wish you'd never messed with me, I'm crazy, I can do anything I like with you.'  He shoved the guy backwards.  'What's it feel like to take a bullet in the leg, Carl?  Do you know, maybe I should let you know what it feels like to be shot, to be dying slowly and painfully.'  He raised the gun and aimed for Carl's kneecaps.

The gun was suddenly wrenched from him and BA's fist connected with his jaw.  Murdock tried to keep his balance but couldn't.  He went down on his backside in the sand.  His head swam and then cleared; he'd been seconds away from shooting Carl.  He realised that they'd all been yelling at him, he hadn't even heard.  He saw Face knock Carl out and was glad.  He stayed on the floor not daring to look at any of his friends.  He was crazy he knew that, but crazy enough to take another man's life in cold blood, was he really that crazy?  God, he hoped not, if he was then it was the start of a long journey with a one-way ticket.

'Murdock?  Murdock!'  Face's voice sounded urgent.  'You ok?'

Murdock accepted the hand Face offered and let himself be pulled to his feet.  'Yeah, I think so.'

'Sorry I hit ya man but I didn't know what you were gonna do.'  BA said offering a rare apology.  He hardly ever apologised to Murdock and there were plenty of times when he maybe he should have done.  The apology touched and frightened Murdock all at once.  What would have done if BA hadn't hit him?  Just how far would he have gone?

'It's ok. Thanks.'  He looked BA right in the eyes as he said the last part and the sergeant smiled a small smile of understanding. 

'What about them?'  BA asked looking at Hannibal now, he indicated to Danny and Carl.

Hannibal studied the two unconscious men on the floor of the desert for a moment and then smiled.  'Let's take 'em for a little ride.'  He signalled for the others to join him and they got the two men into the chopper.  

'Hannibal…' BA began but Face was already behind him with the needle before he could complete his sentence.  He fell forward and Hannibal grabbed him and hoisted him into the chopper.

Murdock got behind the controls and looked sideways at Hannibal who was sitting next to him.  'Where to Colonel?'

Hannibal took a puff of his cigar and smiled.  'San Diego, Captain.  I think we'll take Carl back home and see what the cops have to say about him.'

Murdock grinned.  'Now that's my idea of fun.'

*** 

As they landed outside the house with the eagle on the front door, Hannibal and Face got the two men out of the chopper and into the house.  BA, awake now, just busted the door open; they didn't bother trying to find a key.  They put the men in one of the bedrooms and tied their hands with rope.  Face called the cops and gave them the address.

Five minutes they were back in the chopper and heading for the garage where they'd left BA's van.  It didn't take long to get there and they all piled into the van with BA muttering about how it had better be in peak condition or someone was gonna pay.

Now that he was no longer flying Murdock found that his thoughts were drifting back to Katie and to the moment when he'd nearly ended Carl's life.  It had been scary and not a lot scared Murdock these days not the kind of scary he was thinking about anyway.  The kind of scary that froze your blood and made it hard to think, the kind of scary there'd been in Vietnam.  Pure, unadulterated fear, the sort that made you realise that you were going to die and could do nothing about it.  The kind of fear when you realised just how close you'd come to losing yourself altogether, the kind of fear he still experienced sometimes in the dead of night.  

Sometimes he'd wake to find himself bolting up from his bed in the VA soaked in sweat from some nightmare of a time ten years past now. A time when he'd battled that fear every damn day of his life, when he'd walked the fine line between life and death.  It was that kind of fear that took hold of you suddenly and never truly faded away.  Today had been like that, he was beginning to see just how close he'd come to losing it altogether, how close he'd been to becoming a cold blooded killer.  What would have happened if he'd done it, if he'd ended Carl's life would any of this be mattering now?  Would he care about friends or family?

'Murdock, you ok?'  Face asked from beside him.  Murdock blinked, for a moment there he'd been somewhere else entirely.

'Yeah Facey, just fine.'  He tucked the thoughts away where they could do no harm, now was not the time to start a self-analysis.  He could do all that later back at the VA, right now he had other things to concentrate on.  

Suddenly it occurred to him that BA hadn't been making noises about being drugged and being flown about.  He must have known it was happening; Face and Hannibal hadn't even lied to him about it.  BA hadn't even mentioned it.  Did that mean that the big guy was as worried about Katie as he was?  This surprised Murdock but looking at BA now he thought that from the tense set of the big guy's jaw, it was possible.  Even Hannibal and Face wore worried expressions.

BA pulled up outside the hospital and Murdock was out before the rest of them and in the hospital trying to find Karen.  He saw her standing by the coffee machine and was at her side in seconds.  He stopped and just stared at her unable to voice the question that was foremost in his mind.  He found that now he was here, he didn't want to know the answer.  

Karen turned to look at him with haunted eyes and for one horrible moment he thought that he was too late. 'How is she?'  This was Hannibal's voice coming from just behind him.  He hadn't even realised that the others were still with him.

Karen shook her head.  'They won't tell me, they're operating and they're doing everything they can but other than that they've told me I'll have to wait for the doctor.'

'Face?'  Hannibal said and Face nodded. 

'I'll see what I can do.'

Karen squeezed his hand in grateful reply.  'It's good to see you again Face.'  Her composure crumbled and tears began to flow once more.  Hannibal stepped forward and put his arms round her.

Murdock swallowed hard and tried to keep it together.  He needed to be strong for Karen, if he had to fall apart it would have to be when he was on his own and people weren't depending on him.  He put a comforting hand on Karen's shoulder and she reached up and squeezed it gently.

A nurse approached them and spoke directly to Murdock.  'There's a relative's room just down the hall if you'd like some privacy.'  She indicated Karen who was still crying in Hannibal's arms.  Murdock nodded and motioned for the others to follow him.

BA closed the door and crossed his arms across his chest.  He looked as if he was standing guard, which wasn't such a bad idea.  The police could be around and that could be dangerous for them.  Not to mention the MP's; someone was always looking for them.

Karen wiped her eyes with the tissue that Hannibal handed her and looked at the three men. 'Thank you for coming, I don't think I'd be able to make it through on my own.  I'm just so scared for her and they won't tell me anything.'

Murdock took a seat next to her and putting an arm around her he kissed her forehead.  'I wouldn't be anywhere else.'

The door opened and BA tensed. Face walked in and shook his head.  'I tried but I couldn't get much.  Until she's out of surgery they can't really say.'

There was silence in the room and Karen spoke first.  'Did you happen to see a chapel?  I want to say a prayer if I can.'

Face nodded.  'Down the hall and to the left, third door on the right.'

'Want me to go with you?'  Murdock asked and Karen shook her head.

'I just need a few minutes alone.'

When she was gone Murdock turned to Face. 'How's she looking?'  

'Rough, I managed to sneak a quick look before I was herded off.  She's hanging in there but its not looking good.  To tell you the truth I think they nearly lost her at least once while I was in there.  She's fighting as best as she can but it's looking serious, she's lost a lot of blood.'

Murdock nodded and got to his feet.  'I just need some air, I'll be back in a minute.'  He walked out and headed for the doors breaking into a run at the last second.  Outside he found a private spot and sank to the ground, knees pulled up to his chest.  

His brain replayed the moment when he'd nearly shot Carl and he turned to one side and vomited in the bushes.  His mind was whirling and he was finding it harder and harder to keep things in perspective.  He couldn't start acting crazy here if he did they'd make him leave or send him back to the VA and that couldn't happen.  Karen needed him, the team needed him and Katie needed him.  It was his fault she was in this place, if only he'd done things differently.

He closed his eyes and tried to find that internal button marked Crazy.  He needed to be able to switch the craziness off just for a little while.  He couldn't risk it, it would be hard but he had to do it and that meant he would do it.

*** 

She was out of surgery and Dr Mark Thompson would be the first to admit that this kid was one hell of a fighter.  She had lost a lot of blood by the time she'd arrived in ER but it was largely due to the quick thinking of the man who'd brought her in that she was still alive.  If he hadn't have done what he had she would have been dead no doubt about it but he'd managed to keep the blood flow to a minimum and so Katie Anderson was still with them.

It had been a tough couple of hours.  At least twice he had been sure that she was gone but each time he was relieved when she came back.  Now she was in a room under strict observation.  She wouldn't be awake for a while and he now had to speak to the relatives.  Never an easy job but it could have been a lot worse, he'd been there when it had been a lot worse.

One of the nurses, Melissa Newman informed him that the mother was in one of the rooms kept aside for relatives.  Heading for the room he prepared himself for the questions that would no doubt be asked.

He was surprised to find that the mother was not alone.  Aside from the man who had brought her in, three other men were in the room.  One was a man who reminded Mark of his father, he was wearing black gloves and turned as Mark entered the room but he forgot all about this man when the third man turned around.  He was a big built black man with more jewellery than Mark had ever seen on one person.  Not someone you'd want to meet on a dark night and defiantly not someone you'd want to have mad at you.

The fourth man was about Mark's age, maybe a little younger it was difficult to tell and handsome.  Maybe a little too handsome.

The man who'd brought the kid in had an arm around Katie's mother; Melissa had informed her that her name was Karen Anderson.  The woman wore a wedding band but it was impossible to tell if the man standing next to her was her husband or just a close friend.  One never knew these days.

'Mrs Anderson?'  He asked and the woman stared up at him with fearful eyes obviously afraid of what he had to tell her.  'My name's Dr Thompson, I wonder if we might speak alone for a moment.'

The handsome young man and the older one immediately headed for the door.  The coloured man with all the jewellery hesitated but also left.  The pilot stayed where he was.

'Sir?'  Mark asked, he didn't like to presume that the man wasn't a relative but still…

'He's her stepfather.'  Mrs Anderson said quickly.  That didn't ring quite true to Mark but he didn't argue, somehow he had feeling that the large man with all the necklaces and rings out there might have something to say about it if he did

'Your daughter's out of surgery.  She's lost a lot of blood and she still has a long way to go.  It's mainly due to the actions of your husband here that she's still alive at all.'  

The man didn't acknowledge the praise just asked how Katie was.  'Fighting.' Mark answered.  'She's not giving up but I don't want to give you false hope, she's not out of the woods yet and I want to keep a close eye on her.  But for here and now she's doing well and still with us.'

Mrs Anderson gave a relived sigh and her husband nodded, his arm tightening around her shoulders.  'Can we see her?'  She asked.

'Yes, you can.  She's not awake yet and won't be for some time but I will suggest that you don't stay too long.  For now there's nothing that you can do and I would urge you to go home and get some sleep but I very much doubt that you're going to heed to that advice.  I can have a bed made up for you in the room so that you can be with her tonight if you want.'

Karen Anderson nodded.  'I do and you're right I'm not going home.  Thank you for the advice Doctor and for all you've done but right now I'd like to see my daughter.'

Mark smiled.  'I'll send a nurse right along to show you to her room, if you'll excuse me I have other patients that I have to attend to.  I'll see you both again soon.'  He left the room with the feeling that somehow this girl was going to pull through. 


	10. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

Karen was holding her daughter's hand; Katie was still in a drug-induced sleep.  She was pale and looked hopelessly small in the hospital bed.  Blood and fluids were being administered intravenously and the marks on her face where Carl had hit her stood out harshly against her pale skin.

Murdock stood by the door watching mother and daughter.  He was glad she was ok but had heard what the doctor had said about Katie having a long way to go.  He'd spent a lot of time around doctors during his time at the VA and knew that Doctor Mark Thompson was uncertain as to just how Katie was doing.  He had been right about her being fighter though, she was clinging onto life with everything she had but it might just turn out to be a fight that could not be won.

Musing over these things his eyes flickered to Karen, she too looked pale and exhausted.  He neared the bed.  'You want anything?'  He asked softly.

Karen looked up startled.  'I'm fine, thanks but you don't have to stay.  Go get some coffee or something.'

Murdock nodded he wanted out of this room, it was starting to get to him.  Death hovered too close here and he needed a drink.  He headed out of the room and down the corridor to the coffee machine.  Putting a quarter in the machine he waited for the coffee to finish.  

'Captain?'  An unfamiliar voice asked and before he could stop himself Murdock had turned to greet the person behind him.  He found himself face to face with two orderlies and a doctor from the VA. 'I'm afraid you'll have to come with us.'

Panic overwhelmed him and he shook his head backing away from them.  'I can't, I'm sorry but I have to stay here.'

'Captain.' The doctor's voice was soothing but patronising.  He was talking to Murdock as if he was a child and Murdock didn't like that.  His coffee forgotten he ran down the corridor bumping into Face on the way.

'Murdock what's…' His voice trailed off as he saw the orderlies and the doctor. 

'Quick.'  He said and grabbed Murdock's arm.  They managed to throw them off and headed back to Katie's room.

'I don't know how they knew I was…' He stopped as opening the door he saw the doctor standing beside Karen.  Murdock instantly backed out but one of the orderlies was behind him and he found himself caught between the two.  He and Face looked at each other both wondering what to do next.

'Captain, if you'll cooperate with us this will go much better for everyone.'  The doctor was one that Murdock didn't like and right now he couldn't recall the man's name.  Not that this was the important thing here.  He shook his head resolutely.

'I'm sorry I don't know what you're talking about.'  The innocent approach was the only thing that sprung to mind.  He glanced at Karen who looked scared; no way was he leaving here with her like that or with Katie as she was.

'Captain I am here to take you back to the Veteran's Administration Psychiatric Hospital in LA with or without your cooperation.  Please understand me here; you're coming with us.'  The doctor had obviously decided that the tough guy approach was going to work a lot better.  Murdock decided to show him just how wrong he was.  He whirled round and hit the orderly.  The young man was thrown off balance and stumbled back against the wall.  Murdock ran for it vaguely aware that behind him Face was getting in the doctor's way trying to buy Murdock more time.

He skidded round a corner and collided with a nurse.  The woman fell backwards and Murdock instantly reached out to catch her.  He caught hold of her just before she hit the floor, helping her regain her balance he apologised before leaving her standing in the corridor bewildered as to what was going on.  She was even more confused when two men ran down the corridor after the man in the brown leather jacket.

Murdock shoved a doctor out of the way and kept running, in it's own way this was almost fun except for the fact that if he stopped running he'd be dragged kicking and screaming back to the VA and he wasn't prepared to go back there yet.  He darted into a room and ducked behind a bed, hoping they wouldn't find him.  He needed to catch his breath for a moment.

The door opened and he could see a pair of feet enter the room.  The feet stopped by the bed and Murdock held his breath.  Then he was rudely yanked to his feet by the younger of the two orderlies.  The doctor entered the room behind him at that moment.

'Captain Murdock, I wish it didn't have to be this way.'

'I'm not going back, I kinda like it here instead, much nicer better food, nicer décor even the nurses are prettier.  I think it would be better for everyone if I just stayed here.  Billy loves it here and…'

'Captain you can try that approach if you want but I assure you that it is futile.  You're a very sick man and obviously very frightened…'

'I am not!'  Murdock was indignant, how could they think that, they just had no idea.  'I have responsibilities here, I can't leave but I'll see you guys back at the VA when I'm ready to come home.  Just make sure no-one tries to steal my room.'  He crossed his arms across his chest and tried to stare the man down.  It was a little different to trying to stare BA down, Murdock usually backed down first because BA scared him a little but the doctor just looked bored.  He didn't even have the courtesy to stare back.  Murdock eyed the window carefully, no way he could get out that way, it would have to be the door and somehow he didn't think he'd make it.  Still, soldiers had to do brave things in the line of duty. 

Murdock hurled himself at the two men and tried to escape through the door.  He found himself neatly caught between the two men, the doctor with his greying hair and green eyes held Murdock firmly by one arm.  The orderly had a hold of Murdock's other arm.  He was sandwiched between the two of them, they escorted him out of the room and Murdock decided that enough was enough.  He'd tried the innocent ploy, the persuasive approach and the running tactic.  None of these had worked that meant he had to work with the one thing he had left.  The one thing he did better than anything except for flying.

He pushed the internal button marked Crazy and waited to see what would happen.  About a day's worth of pent-up craziness exploded from him and he began kicking and struggling for all he was worth, crazy talk spewing from his mouth at an alarming rate.

'What's going on?'  This was Karen's voice; he opened his eyes midway through yelling about the injustice of the golf ball and stared at her.

'Ma'am if you'll just move out of the way.  This man is a psychiatric patient and we have to take him back to the ward.'

'He is not and you won't.'  Karen protested. 'I know this man and you've got the wrong person.  He's my husband.'

The doctor blinked he hadn't been expecting this.

'Ma'am he's, for want of a better word, crazy.  He's also a resident at the Veteran's Administration Psychiatric Hospital and I have to take him back there before he can do damage to himself or anyone else.'

'He's not crazy, it's his medication it makes him act a little strange especially under extreme pressure.  Our daughter is fighting for her life and you've just added to the pressure he's under.  Did they hurt you honey?'  

Murdock hesitated and then decided that it couldn't hurt to play along.  'I'm fine, the meds are starting to wear off now but I'm still feeling a little gloopy.  Think I could have a special hug?'

Karen mercifully managed to keep a straight face. 'See, he's fine just a little confused.  I really think you've made a mistake.'

The doctor spluttered for a moment and then managed to regain his composure.  'Ma'am, regardless of what you say I know that this man is a mental patient and I am under orders to take him back to the hospital with me.'

'I can't let you do that, Doctor.'  She said firmly and Murdock just grinned.  Smugly he removed himself from the grip of the doctor and the orderly.  He went and stood over by Karen and put an arm around her shoulders.  'You can't call what is obviously a medical problem, crazy.' Karen told the doctor angrily.

'I, I…' The doctor was speechless he didn't know how to deal with this and Murdock was laughing inside and maybe a little on the outside as well.  Karen could give Face a run for his money, not for very long but for long enough.  Question was whether or not she'd managed to convince the doctor that Murdock was not who he thought he was.  Time for a little performance.

Murdock clutched at his head and gave a loud groan.  'Honey have you got my meds, I was about to take them when these thugs ganged up on me.'  He pouted and rested his head on Karen's shoulder.  She patted his head soothingly.

'Just a minute sweetie, I just have to finish up here and then we'll get your meds.'

Murdock kissed her cheek.  'You look after me real good.'

'I'm sorry but he's not going anywhere with you.'  Karen said confidently.

'Ma'am I've had enough of this performance; this man is not your husband.  His name is Captain HM Murdock and he is a patient in a psychiatric ward and he is coming with us.'  The doctor was beginning to get impatient.

The other orderly had in the meantime joined the doctor and the younger looking orderly.  The doctor motioned and the two men pulled Murdock away from Karen.  'Worth a try Kaz babe, maybe next time.'  Murdock said affecting a cockney accent.  

He smiled serenely and then jabbed an elbow into the stomach of one of the men.  As he struggled he felt something cold at the back of his neck and then there was a sharp stinging feeling.  Everything began to slow down and fall away.  He'd been given shots enough times to recognise that they'd just drugged him.  He tried to fight it but knew it was no good, everything began to fade away and he felt very sleepy.

'Out of the way Ma'am.'  The doctor brushed past Karen and the orderlies dragging Murdock with them followed him.

Karen could only stare and then turned and hurried in search of Hannibal.

**** 

Murdock opened his eyes and groaned.  As usual the sedative made him feel as if he'd been run over with a truck.  He was lying on his bed back at the VA and the afternoon sunshine was filtering through the curtains.  He closed his eyes against the light and then tried to sit up.

Bad idea.  He slid back down again; maybe it was better if he just stayed where he was.  As soon as he thought that he remembered Katie and shot straight up again.  She was still at the hospital and he didn't know how she was.  Anything could have happened.   Once the room had kindly stopped spinning he picked up the phone.  There was no dial tone; they'd disconnected the phone.  Anger filled him and he got up off the bed and went to the door.  It was shut and locked.

So, not only had they locked him in here but they'd taken away his phone privileges as well.  Normally it wouldn't have bothered him so much but right now he was worried about Katie, he wanted to know if she was okay and he couldn't.  She could be dead, MP's could be after the team and he wouldn't be able to do anything about any of it because he was stuck in here.  

Most of the time he almost liked living here, when they'd mistakenly declared him sane and turned him out he'd realised just how much he wanted to stay.  The thought of not knowing where he was going to sleep or not having regular sessions with the doctors made him feel almost nervous.  Unlike the others he had a place to call his own even if it was only a small room in a mental ward.  He had a place to lay his head every night, regular meals, friends and other crazy people around him.  Right now though none of those things seemed good, he'd have traded them all to be back at that hospital in San Diego.  He was starting to feel like a trapped animal and he found himself pacing back and forth in the small space between his bed and the wall.

He walked over to the sink and splashed his face with water.  He rested his head against the cool surface of the mirror and then closed his eyes.  Blood, dirt, sweat.  All these things filled his senses and for a moment he was back in the desert.  Katie was lying on the sand and her blood had turned it a strange dirty red.  The smell of his sweat from the fight, the feel of the blood on his face drying and the panicky fear engulfed him and through all of these came the sound of breaking glass and a feeling of pain.

Murdock opened his eyes, the mirror was cracked and his fist was embedded in glass.  He'd punched the mirror and now shards of glass stuck to his skin.  He pulled his hand out of the glass and stared at it.  Blood was pouring from the cuts on his hand, he sliced through one of the veins in his wrist but the pain was barely there.  He found himself lying down on the bed.  He let his eyes fall closed.

*** 

When he awoke he was still lying in a bed but it was not his own and a nurse was beside him.  She didn't speak just seemed to write a lot.  Murdock felt himself drift away again, away from the pain, away from everything.

*** 

He came to aware that people were standing over him.  'I think he's coming round.'  This was Face's voice right next to him.

'Give him some room.'  That was Hannibal, the colonel sounded concerned.

Murdock opened his eyes and found that he was staring into the eyes of three men.  Men he'd known for what seemed like a lifetime.  His left hand hurt and he realised that he was in the back of the van.

BA helped him to sit up.  'How you feeling fool?'  He asked with affection.

'Ok, I think.  The walls have stopped melting but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.'

Hannibal smiled.  'Just take it easy Captain.'

Murdock raised his hand and looked at it, it seemed ok.  There was a bandage on it but other than that it didn't look a whole lot different. Pretty much like his right hand in fact.  Strange because it was hurting a whole lot.  In fact everything seemed to be hurting a whole lot.

'You're a fool Murdock, what you have to go and do a thing like that for?'  BA asked he sounded annoyed but didn't really look it.

'A thing like what?'  Murdock asked he couldn't really remember what he had done.

'Like trying to bleed yourself to death.'  BA growled.

'BA.'  Hannibal chided.  'Do you remember what happened Murdock?'

Murdock shrugged.  'I hit the mirror, cracked it right across the middle.'

'And nearly cut your hand to ribbons in the process.  You had to have twelve stitches, had to put some more blood in you and have you sedated.'  Face said.  'I had a hell of a time getting you out of the VA.'

'Thanks.'  Murdock managed to say; suddenly he slapped his arm and frowned.  'Where's my jacket?'  He was wearing his cap but not his jacket.  Both things were like a safety net, objects he could identify with, they almost had a personality of their own.  The tiger on the back of the jacket often talked to him and he was missing it.

'Karen said you gave it to Katie.'  Face told him frowning.  'You sure you're ok?'

'Yeah, just a little nuts.'  He gave Face a big fake smile.

'The fool's never been ok.'  BA put in but more because it was expected of him rather than because he meant it.

'Where are we Colonel?'  Murdock asked; he had to see if Katie was ok.

'Just outside St Luke's hospital in LA.'  Face told him.  'They transferred Katie here two days ago.'

'Two days?  I've been out for two days?'  Murdock couldn't believe it, actually he could but he was beginning to worry.  'Is she ok, what happened, why did they transfer her?'  He bombarded them with questions until Hannibal held up a hand to silence him.

'She's doing ok, still unconscious and they transferred her here because they felt that St Luke's was the better place for her to be.  They deal with gunshot wounds quite a lot apparently.  She's no worse but she's not much better either.  We figured you'd want to be here.'

Murdock nodded.  'Is Billy ok?'

'Billy's fine.'

'Can I see her?'  He asked and Hannibal shared a look with Face.  Murdock felt a pang of distress.  They thought he shouldn't see her; that he was going to do something bad.

'Are you sure you're up to it?' Face asked gently.  'You still seem a little disorientated.'

So they didn't think he was going to flip out, Murdock felt almost ashamed.  They were just worried about him.

'Yeah, I'm fine.'  He actually wasn't but no way was he going to tell them that.  He reached over and patted Billy's head, he needed the reassurance that only the dog could give him at this moment.

'Hey, what did I say about Billy being in my van.'  BA snarled.

Murdock looked up at him with large brown eyes.  'He won't be no trouble, BA.  He's usually very good; see I don't even need to keep him on his leash.  It's only when the bad guys turn up that he gets mad and turns all purple.'

BA's brows knitted together and he clenched his fists.  'I mean it fool, I don't want no more talk about a dog that's not real.'

Murdock looked aghast.  'Not real!  Not real!  How can you say that BA?  He's as real as you or I.  Tell him Face, tell him Billy's real.'

'Oh yeah, Billy's real.'  Face nodded and reached out to stroke the dog's fur.

Murdock smiled smugly.  'See.'  He turned back to Hannibal.  'Well?'

Hannibal nodded.  'Ok.'  He opened the van doors and he and Face helped Murdock out.

A wave of dizziness overwhelmed the pilot for a moment but he gritted his teeth and fought through it.  Nothing was going to make the guys think that he couldn't see Katie; he had to make them believe that he was ok just for a little while.  

As they walked towards the hospital entrance Murdock wondered what drugs the doctors at the VA had given him.  Whatever they'd given him he wished they hadn't bothered, he felt awful.  His hand throbbed dully and he flexed the fingers trying to bring some life back into them.  The action only succeeded in making the pain flare up in again.  

They entered the hospital and for a moment Murdock was sure that the VA would have sent someone here to bring him back like they'd done back in San Diego.  However, they reached Katie's room without incident and Murdock calmed himself down.  No one was coming for him, not yet anyway.

Face opened the door and stepped into the room, Murdock hesitated for a moment and then followed him.  Karen looked up and got to her feet the minute her eyes landed on Murdock.  She hugged him tightly and he received the embrace gladly.

His eyes drifted to the girl in the bed and he felt tears prick at his eyes.  She was still unconscious and he knew that she should have been awake by now.  Something was wrong with her.

'Are you ok?'  Karen asked, she'd been very worried for him and he sensed that.  She was looking at his bandaged hand in concern.

'I'm fine, how's she doing?'  He turned to look at the others and realised that they were no longer there.  They'd left to give him some space.  He mentally thanked them, it was exactly what he needed right now.

Karen lowered her eyes.  'Not good, she should have been conscious two days ago but so far nothing.  She's lost a lot of blood and they're still keeping her on an IV, they've had to feed her that way too.  I just feel so helpless, there's nothing I can do but wait and waiting seems to be doing no good.'

Murdock nodded.  'I know.'  He said and she reached out and took his hand.

'What happened?'  She asked looking into his eyes.

He debated whether to tell her or not and then decided against it.  She was worried enough about her daughter, the news that he'd really lost it for a while would only worry her further.

'It's nothing.'  He smiled at her injecting as much honesty as he could into his words.  She didn't argue but he noticed the doubt on her face, luckily she had other things to think about and didn't press him on the subject.  'Do you want to take a break, I can stay with her.'  He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and Karen gave him a wan smile.

'I'm almost too scared to leave.'

'Go get a coffee and some food.  Face or one of the guy's will go with you so you don't have to be on your own.  I'll be here with her.'

'Thanks.'  She left the room but looked towards the bed for a long moment her eyes fixed on the still form of her daughter.

When she'd gone, Murdock sat down next to the bed and took one of Katie's hands in his good hand. 'Hey there Muchacho.'  He said softly, looking at her.  He wasn't sure what else to do. She looked so small and frail lying there, that wasn't the Katie he knew; she was stronger than that.  Ever since Tony had died she'd been under the impression that she had to be strong for her and for her mother.  Murdock remembered that from those last few days they'd spent together before he'd gone back to Vietnam and the war.

'Listen to me for a moment, wherever you are right now I think it's time you came back ok.'  He didn't even know if she could hear him but he kept on talking, the silence was just too much to bear.  'I was so scared when I looked out that window and saw you in Carl's apartment.  I had no idea what he was going to do; I didn't even think I just acted.  I'm sorry; maybe if I'd waited things wouldn't have turned out like this.  You know I'm not letting this happen, it isn't happening, I'm crazy and I say it isn't happening.  You're ok, you have to be, it's been too long, I finally get to see you and spend time with you and now this has happened.  Wacky, huh?  This time it's you that's gone away not me.'

He stopped unable to continue, he couldn't remember feeling this way before.  The one feeling that kept coming back was the feeling he'd had on the day they'd buried Tony.  He'd been standing at the graveside with his arm around Karen watching Katie to make sure she was ok.  And then it had hit him a feeling so strong he didn't know if he could stand it.  He had a sudden need to protect her, she didn't have a father anymore; he'd been taken away from her before she was even old enough to get to know him properly.  He'd remembered what it was like to lose his mother at the age of five and understood what she was feeling.  He'd suddenly seen that when he came back from his tour of Vietnam that it would be his last, he knew that he would have to look after her and Karen.  Karen would probably cope but Katie needed someone around to talk to.  She wouldn't feel as if she'd be able to talk to her mother for fear of stirring up memories that might be painful to Karen.

He closed his eyes, as the memory grew stronger.  He'd decided there and then, from that moment on he would have to act as a father to Katie and perhaps even a husband to Karen.  They both needed someone now and Tony had told him to look after them. His last words and thoughts had been of them.  They had been the only things that had mattered in Tony's life and Murdock hadn't been able to save him, he hadn't been able to give them back the most important thing in their lives.  That meant it was up to him to be what had been taken from them.

He had to protect both of them but especially Katie; she was too young to deal with this.  He'd always thought of her as a niece but now he had to take responsibility for her when Karen couldn't.  He stared at the grave of his best friend and made a promise to the dead man.  He would protect Tony's wife and child with everything he had.

Murdock opened his eyes again and sighed.  He hadn't fulfilled his promise, he'd gone away to 'Nam again and things had changed, he'd been more involved with Hannibal's unit and he hadn't really come back.  Then when he did finally get out of there he'd been sent to the VA and he hadn't seen Katie in nearly thirteen years.  Now when he did see her he'd nearly gotten her killed.  Maybe she'd still die and it would be his fault.  

He realised that he'd curled his other hand into a fist and the pain lanced through it again.  Slowly he uncurled his fingers wincing as they began to smart.  He looked down at the young woman in the bed and began speaking again.

'I made a promise to your dad, Katie.  I promised that I'd look after you and your Mom.  I promised you when we met again that I wouldn't let anything happen to you.  I've broken both promises, I went away to 'Nam and didn't come back.  And now you're lying here dying bit by bit.  I know I'm a crazy nut but I keep my promises Katie and you're going to wake up.  You have to wake up, who's gonna buy me Twinkies?  BA won't, Face might but it wouldn't be the same, they don't understand but you did.  You do!  You don't look at me all scared and think that the crazy's bad, you accept it and a lot of people can't do that.  I'm just glad you missed out on those times when I was really bad, it's not something I want the guys to see let alone you or anyone else.  I let you have Billy for a little while, I've never done that before or since and I probably won't do it again.  I look at you and I see Tony's eyes looking back at me, it's weird but good.  It's like there's still a little piece of him around, like he never really went away.  I think you can beat this, I believe you can do it and that's the most powerful thing, believing it enough.  It's the believing that make's me crazy; I believe in Billy so much that I can see him.  So if I believe hard enough then you'll wake up.  'Cos you gotta wake up I can't take losing the last little bit of Tony that I have left.  I couldn't take losing you.'

His voice shook and he stopped talking.  It was easy talking this way because she probably couldn't hear him and that meant he could be honest in a way he couldn't be normally.  He could never tell her that he had promised to look out for her, she wouldn't appreciate it; she was just too independent and wilful.  She'd see it as a pity gesture.

Behind him the door opened and Karen came in with a cup of coffee in her hand.  She gave it to him and he took it gingerly.  'I think I might go and see the others.'  He said quietly and squeezing her hand he stood and left the room.


	11. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Murdock hadn't gone to see the others, instead he'd walked around outside for a while trying to clear his head.  Now he was beginning to feel marginally better than he had before and was making his way back to Katie's room.

Panic surged through him as he saw Karen talking to a doctor, who then rushed into the room and left Karen standing outside.  Murdock was with her in an instant.

'What's going on?'  He asked anxiously.

Karen only shook her head and gave a choked sob.  He instantly entered the room certain that they were losing Katie.

He stopped in the doorway, his hand still on the handle.  A doctor and a nurse were by the bed and Katie was sitting up telling the doctor that she was ok.  He was checking the monitor and asking her questions.

Katie's protests trailed off when she saw Murdock.  She stared at him for a moment and then he was by the bed.  He put his arms around her and hugged her fiercely to him that overwhelming instinct to protect her emerging once more.

She hugged him back and then the doctor was telling him to move aside so that he could take a look at his patient.  Murdock ignored him and pulled back to ask her if she was ok but she answered him before the words could even leave his lips.

'I'm fine, a little woozy but I'll be ok.  Now just tell the Doc here to get me some ice-cream and I'll be fine.'  She smiled.

Murdock laughed and ruffled her hair.  She narrowed her eyes; she'd always hated it when he did that which was exactly why he did it.  

'Sir, I'm afraid you're going to have to leave.  I need to attend to my patient.'

'Yeah, he can't do that when you're trying to squeeze the life out of me.'  Katie gave him a lop-sided grin, which Murdock returned in kind.  But under the grin he could see the pain etched on her features.  She wasn't as fine as she was making out.

Murdock moved aside and let the doctor come by the bed.  The man looked at Murdock. 'Sir, if you'd like to step outside.'

Murdock's eyes narrowed for a moment but he obeyed.  Karen grabbed hold of him the minute he was out of the room.  'What's going on?  What's happening?  Is she ok?'

'The doctor's looking over her now.'

'She's still awake, I didn't imagine it?'  Karen looked at him with a yearning eyes.  She was terrified that Katie was worse and not better.  

Murdock smiled.  'She's awake Karen, you didn't imagine it.'

*** 

Murdock spent the next few days with Katie, rarely letting her out of his sight.  Which wasn't hard considering she was confined to a hospital bed for nearly all of that time.  She was slowly beginning to get better, it wasn't easy, and he was there at on at least four occasions, woken by the sound of her crying in her sleep.  Most of the time she never woke.

For Karen it was particularly hard, she wanted nothing more to be able to make her daughter's pain go away but she couldn't.  She knew that the thing Katie seemed to be scared of most was that her mother might vanish again and Karen didn't know how to reassure Katie that that wasn't going to happen.

Everyday there was a visitor, if Murdock wasn't there then Face or one of the others was, more often than not Face but on one or two occasions BA stayed with her.  By the end of the week she was beginning to get sick and tired of staying in bed all the time.

'Hey there.'  Murdock said as he entered the room that morning.  It was a beautiful day outside and he saw Katie's gaze stray towards the window where she could see blue sky and warm sunshine.  She needed something to take her mind off of the fact that she was stuck indoors.  Murdock produced from behind his back a bag stuffed full to bursting.

'What's that?'  Katie asked with a spark of interest.

Murdock just smiled secretively.  'It's for you.'  He handed her the bag and she opened it.  She reached inside and pulled out a teddy bear and then another and then another.  By the time she'd emptied the bag the bed was covered in stuffed animals of every kind.

Her delighted laugh made Murdock smile.  'Where did these come from?'  She asked in amazement.

'The shop downstairs.  They all needed a good home and I thought you'd take good care of them.  They won't let me have pets at the VA.'

Katie nodded and motioned for him to come over so she could hug him.  'Thank you.'  She said clearly touched by his affectionate gift.

'Oh that's ok, all in the line of duty.'  His smile widened.  'And on that note, I have another present for you.'  Before Katie could utter another word he left the room and returned with a wheelchair.

Katie's eyes instantly lit up and she stopped rearranging the toys on her bedside unit and stared at the gleaming metal in front of her.  A slow smile began to spread across her face and he saw a glint of something in her eyes.

*** 

'Oh and she's in the lead, it's a tough one but I think she might win it.'  Murdock was giving a running commentary as he wheeled her through the hospital at top speed.  He drew a breath to continue when he saw Katie's doctor up ahead.  He skidded to a stop and he and Katie stared at the doctor as he approached.

'What is going on here?  Why is my patient out of bed?'  The doctor crossed his arms and looked at them questioningly.

'Wheelchair race.'  Katie told him sheepishly.

'I see.'  He stared at Murdock.  'You are aware that she should be in bed resting aren't you?  She's not going to get better if she doesn't rest and if she doesn't get better then she can't go home which I am sure is something that you would like to happen in the next few weeks.'  Here he directed his gaze back to Katie.

'But Doc.' Murdock said.  'Being stuck in that bed all day isn't good for her.'

'I'm her doctor and I will decide what is good for her.  Now I suggest you take her back to her room before I decide that you being here is not good for her too.'

Murdock muttered something under his breath and turned the wheelchair round.

'And Mr Murdock…' The doctor called back.

Murdock turned apprehensively.

'Kindly return the wheelchair when she's back in bed.'

Murdock saluted and wheeled Katie back to her room.  

'Murdock, it's ok really, another time.'  He made to help her back into bed but she waved him away.  'I can do it.'  She insisted and hoisted herself back onto the bed.

'I'll just take this back, anything you want?'  

Katie was about to say no but then she changed her mind.  'Could you sneak me some ice-cream, it's been days and I could really do with something cold.'

Murdock smiled.  'I'll see what I can do Chiquita, be right back.'  He left the room wheeling the chair in front of him and Katie, with a smile, closed her eyes.

*** 

Katie dozed lazily as she waited for Murdock to come back.  After several days the pain had finally settled down to just a dull ache which occurred every now and then.  She heard the door open and Murdock enter.

Not able to muster up enough energy to even open her eyes she said, 'You manage to get any ice-cream?'

Murdock approached the bed and stopped.  There was an audible click, the sound of the safety being taken off on a gun.

Katie's eyes flew wide open in surprise and she stared into Carl's face, the gun in his hand pointed right at her head.

'Sorry they were all out.'  He levelled the gun.  'Now do what I tell you and no one has to get hurt.  Remember that this is a public building, if you start screaming I start shooting and I don't care who I hit.'

Katie swallowed nervously; her throat had gone very dry.

'Get up and get dressed.  Quickly.'  Carl kept the gun trained on her as she climbed out of bed.  Pain shot through her leg but she forced herself to ignore it.  She had no choice but to change from the hospital gown into her own clothes in front of Carl.

Once dressed she looked at her assailant.  'What now?'  She asked cautiously.

'We walk out of here.  If you try to escape, I'll kill someone and if you're lucky it won't be you.'

Katie only nodded and Carl took hold of her arm tightly.  She let out a sharp hiss as Carl's fingers bit into her arm.  He pulled her out the door and put an arm around her waist.  The gun was concealed from view but Katie could feel the firm pressure of the weapon as Carl pressed it into the small of her back.

The corridor seemed a thousand miles long and each time someone passed them she held her breath fearing that they'd see the gun.

They entered the main foyer and Katie breathed a sigh of relief, they'd reached the exit without being apprehended.  As soon as they were away from the hospital and innocent bystanders she could try and escape.

Her exhilaration was short-lived, however, because at that moment there was a shout from behind them.  Carl whirled around pulling Katie with him.

The A-Team was advancing towards them, Murdock in the lead.  Katie could just see her mom behind Face.

'Let her go.'  Murdock said with conviction.

Carl pulled the gun up and held it to Katie's temple.  'Move another step Captain and she ends up with a hole in her head and believe me, this time she won't survive no matter what you do.'

Murdock stopped abruptly and stared at Carl with unwavering eyes.  'Put the gun down.'

'I don't think so.'  He looked past Murdock to Hannibal. ' You'd better not be thinking about doing anything heroic Colonel, not with a whole lobby full of people here.'

'Hannibal.'  Murdock said in a strained voice and the colonel froze from inching towards Carl.

'Katie!'  This was Karen who could stand it no longer, she came running forward towards her daughter and Carl but Murdock grabbed her before she could get far enough for Carl to consider her a threat.

There was the sound of running feet and security guards filled the lobby.

'Don't shoot!'  Murdock yelled as the guards brought their guns up to fire.

'I'd listen to him!'  Carl shouted. 'I'm going to walk out of here with the girl and if anyone tries to stop me I'll start with the target practice.'  He aimed the gun at a small child, a little girl of no more than three or four.

'No.' Katie whispered but Carl ignored her.

'Oh my god.'  Karen gasped as Carl's intentions became clear to her.  She hid her face against Murdock's shoulder unable to watch the tragedy that was about to unfold in the hospital lobby.

Murdock watched helplessly as Carl fired the gun. The bullet sunk into the wall inches above the child's head and she was left unharmed.

'Next time she might not be so lucky.'  Carl pulled Katie out of the door and chaos broke out.

Karen screamed out her daughter's name, the child Carl had shot at began crying and the security guards set off at a run after Carl.  Murdock thrust Karen at Amy.

'Look after her.'  He ordered before sprinting after Carl, the rest of the team already ahead of him.

*** 

Carl dragged Katie towards a waiting car and shoved her roughly into it.  He got in and the driver raced out of the parking lot at high speed.

'Why are you doing this?'  Katie finally ventured to ask.

'Shut up.'  Carl told her in an irritated tone. 'Step on it Joey.'  

'I go any faster and I'm gonna start attracting attention and I don't think you want anymore attention Carl.'  Joey retorted tensely.

Carl pushed the gun against the back of the man's head.  'Go faster Joey!  Don't make me have to ask you again.'

Katie shrank as far as she could into the corner, keeping quiet, she didn't know what he was going to do but she knew what he was capable of.

*** 

BA struggled to keep up with the car that he'd seen Carl get into.  He kept losing him in the morning traffic.  

In the back Murdock was rifling around in the gun locker.  He pulled out a couple of small handguns and put them into a utility belt strapping this around his waist.

'Murdock are you sure you want do this?'  Face asked he was more than a little worried for his friend.  Murdock seemed to be getting worse.

'BA turn right!'  Murdock barked out as they lost sight of Carl again.  Mercifully BA didn't argue but swung a hard right.

'Face when you wanted us to go to Ecuador with you, we went right?'

'Yes but this is different…' Face protested.

'How?  Because I know she's actually in trouble?  You went charging into a whole other country for Sister Whatever her name was!'  Murdock's voice rose an octave, he was clearly agitated.

'I just think that you're not handling this right, we could make things worse if you go in there with guns blazing.'

'So I'm just supposed to let Carl kill her?'  Murdock yelled.

'Ok.'  Hannibal said deciding it was time to intervene.  'Enough, arguing isn't going to get her back.  Murdock, Face is right, we need a plan first.'

Murdock just shook his head in argument, he wasn't prepared to sit around and wait for Hannibal to come up with a plan.  He needed to act and to act now before Carl could do anymore harm.

'Do you know where he's going?' BA asked Murdock as he weaved in between cars.

'He's heading back to Mexico.'  

'What makes you say that?'  Hannibal asked raising an eyebrow.

''I know Carl, that's where his guys are; he'll regroup there.  Whatever business he's involved in is going to take place there.  BA turn left.'

'This isn't the way to the border fool.'   BA protested.

'Uh huh, I know.'

'But you just said…' Face's voice trailed off as Murdock brought a gun up to BA's head although he had to be aware that the big guy could take it from him and reduce him to pulp in seconds.

'Stop the van.'

'What you doing fool?'  BA asked impatiently, he'd just about had it with Murdock's weird attitude.

When Murdock spoke again his voice was perfectly controlled and Face could see a strange light in his eyes.

'BA, if you don't stop the van I'll blow your brains out.'  The pilot's tone was almost pleasant, he could have been discussing the weather instead of threatening his friend's life.

'You're crazy, man.'  BA carried on driving calling Murdock's bluff.  Murdock, still perfectly serious and actually smiling now, pulled the hammer back on the gun.  'Pull Over.'  Each word was punctuated so that Face could almost see the capital letters in each word.  

Hannibal remained silent regarding Murdock seriously; he knew that trying to stop Murdock from what he was doing was pointless.  He wouldn't stop until he'd done whatever it was that he felt he had to do.

BA pulled over and stared at Murdock.  'Fool.'  He said, 'Now we've lost them.'

'I know where he's going, I can still catch up with him.'

'Uh Murdock, what do you mean _you_ can still catch up with him?'  Face asked although he was pretty sure what the answer was going to be.

'I mean I'm going after them, you're not.'

'Yeah that's what I thought you meant.'  Face sighed.

'Now Murdock…' Hannibal began denying his own logic and trying to dissuade the pilot.  Murdock cut him off.

'I'm sorry Colonel, I am, but I have to do this and it has to be done alone.  I'm not dragging anyone else into this.'

'We are already involved Murdock.'  Face argued running a frustrated hand through his blond hair.

'No, you're not and you won't have to be.  It's between me and Carl.  Katie's already been hurt because I didn't do the right thing.  Next time he could kill her.'

'Murdock, we're a team which means if you're involved then we're involved.'  Hannibal told him.  He was deeply concerned for the younger man but he understood how Murdock felt.

'Not this time Colonel.'  With obvious reluctance Murdock raised the gun again.  'Get out the van.'

'No way sucker!'  BA growled angrily, he'd finally caught on to exactly what Murdock was going to do.

Murdock laughed and it wasn't a nice laugh, it was angry and bitter.  'Get out the van BA.  The longer we sit here the less likely it is that Katie is gonna live past tonight.'

Hannibal put a hand on BA's shoulder.  'Sergeant, do what he says.'

'No way Hannibal, I'm not gonna let this crazy sucker drive my van!'

'It's just until I catch up with them, I'll call you and let you know where you can pick it up.'

BA turned and looked at Murdock wondering whether he could rip the gun out of the crazy man's hands and knock him out without getting his van or anyone else hurt.  Then he really looked at Murdock and he saw how afraid his friend was, how much he believed he had to do it and most of all, how much he cared about Katie.  And underlining all those emotions was guilt and regret.

BA hesitated and then got out of the van.

*** 

It seemed that the journey was taking forever.  Katie didn't know where they were going and hadn't asked.  There had been silence in the car for a long time before Carl finally spoke.

'You want to know why I'm doing this?'  He asked in answer to her earlier question.  Katie didn't look at him just kept her eyes firmly fixed on what was going on outside the car window.

'I'm guessing it's not for the pleasure of my company.'

Carl grabbed her chin and wrenched her face around so that she had to look at him.

'You've got a real smart mouth kid.  Be careful I don't decide it's too smart and break it!'  He released his grip on her and Katie tenderly touched the place where his fingers had dug into her skin.

For a long moment Carl said nothing but he eventually he spoke again.

'What's it like to know he nearly killed for you, that he busted up his hand he was so mad at what happened to you?'

Katie frowned.  'I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'You don't huh?  Guess I should tell you then.  While you were in the hospital Murdock came back to the desert.  If his friends hadn't have pulled him away he would have killed me.  He said he wanted me to suffer the way you were suffering.  Of course then Baracus dragged him off and he wimped out.'

Katie didn't answer, she couldn't.  It was impossible for her to even imagine Murdock so incensed that he would kill someone in cold blood.  Unthinkable.

'Then he was hauled off to the VA.  Lost it completely, shoved his hand through a mirror he was so cracked.  You must really mean something to him Katherine.'

Katie remembered the bandage on Murdock's hand.  Remembered him giving her an excuse she hadn't believed but she'd been so glad to see him that she hadn't questioned him further and had put it out of her mind.

Carl's fingers came under her chin and, gently this time, turned her face back to his.

'That's why you're here, why I'm doing this, he'll come running after you and then I can finish it.  I can make him understand what a mistake it was messing with me and with you here I can control him.  He wouldn't dare risk any harm coming to you. He's already shown that.  Truth is he likes to think himself as your protector, as the father you don't have anymore.  He feels guilty for what happened to your daddy, that's why he acts like he cares so much about you.'

'Do you always talk this much?'  Katie asked trying to keep her voice normal.

Carl glowered.  'I can't kill you but that doesn't mean I'm not averse to hurting you. Watch what you say.'

A question was preying on Katie's mind.  'Why did you kidnap Mom then?  Why not just take me in the first place?'

'I needed to be sure that the team would be contacted and I knew she wouldn't contact them.  She doesn't want to see Murdock not now he's crazy.  She went to see him when he came back from 'Nam and they stuck him in the VA, told him to stay away. Away from her and away from you. It was easier to take her and leave hints for you to contact them.  You found the photograph I left and I knew that would stir up the memories you tried to so hard to forget, memories you'd be curious about.  The rest was simple.'

Katie sat numbly beside him.  The fact that all her actions since her mother's disappearance had been so engineered, that she could be so manipulated left her cold inside.  Carl was crazy and he wanted revenge on Murdock.  Now Murdock and the rest of the team were in danger and it was because of her.


	12. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Amy handed Karen a mug of tea and the two women seated themselves at the large table in the kitchen of the house that Katie had grown up in.

Karen stared down at her mug not bothering to drink its contents for the moment.  She was too worried about her daughter to do anything.  Amy had suggested that it would be safer if they went back to Karen's house and that it would also be easier if the team needed to get in contact with them.

'Do you think they'll find her?'  Karen asked breaking the uncomfortable silence that reigned in the kitchen.

Amy nodded.  'Yes, I think they will.  I know what they can do, I've seen it firsthand and it may not look like it now but I'm sure they'll find her and get her back.'

Karen sighed.  'I know, deep down I know that but I can't forget the look in Carl's eyes as he dragged her away.'

'Hannibal will come up with a plan, they never fail.'

Karen gave a diminutive laugh.  'Oh I know, I remember that from a long time ago.  I met them when they were still new to being a team, not really certain of how they functioned together and even I could see that they were a unit and a good one at that.  

They came home with Tony and Murdock one day, they'd all got leave to come back here for whatever reason I don't remember now but I remember them all walking in that door and feeling as if Tony was somehow out of place with them at that moment, I think he felt it too.  They were just so much a team more like one than many; it was so strange.  Of course Katie fell in love with Face on first sight, she was only seven at the time, Murdock was still her hero, always has been and I think he always will be.  But she adored Face so much I'm sure he was her first big crush.

BA terrified me the first time I met him, I wasn't sure about him, he seemed so large and menacing right until the moment he said hello to Katie and I saw the look in his eyes.  He was so gentle with her. I just knew I had nothing to be afraid of.

And then Hannibal, oh he was so clearly the leader, professional and almost fatherly.  I think Murdock looked up to him a lot.  Tony certainly did, he told me some of the things they'd done and I couldn't believe it not until I actually met them, saw what they were like together.'

Amy nodded.  She understood what Karen was saying; when she'd first read the reports on the A-Team even she hadn't really been able to appreciate how special they were.

Karen sighed.  'That summer was one of the best, I had my husband home and his friends were amazing.  Murdock spent a lot of time with Katie that summer, do you know he and Tony taught her how to swim.  She was terrified, she actually screamed whenever she got near the water.  But then Murdock took her hand and started talking to her.  Have you ever seen the way he is with animals, Amy?'

'Yes.'  Amy answered, she'd seen what Murdock was like; animals trusted him, he was always kind and gentle with them, they seemed to understand him.  

'He talked to her like she was a frightened animal, talked to her the whole time he was leading her towards the ocean.  But she never screamed not once, not even when the water lapped over her toes. That was how much she trusted him.  In her eyes he, like her father, could do no wrong.  They were her guardian angels and they would always protect her.'  Karen closed her eyes for a moment and one solitary tear slipped down her cheek as she remembered happier times.

'They'll find her.'  Amy insisted.

'I always knew this day would come, that one day someone would show up that Tony had offended or someone to do with one of his CIA assignments.  I knew that one day there would be someone there who would want to hurt my daughter or me.  And I always knew that one day Murdock would come back again, that she'd start remembering.'

'She didn't not at first.'  Amy said gently, Face had told her of the events that had taken place whilst they were on the assignment.   'Murdock told her but she didn't believe him.  It took a little while but eventually she remembered.'

Karen ran her fingers through her hair with a sigh.  'When she started forgetting I thought it was for the best.  If anything happened to Murdock it would have crushed her, losing her father was bad enough but if Murdock had died too I don't know that she would ever have been the same.  

 I went to see him when he came back from Vietnam and it was like looking at a stranger.  He looked like Murdock but he wasn't, he was crazy and not like he is now.  That was a very different kind of crazy, an almost animal kind.  Whilst I was there he got violent, they had to pull him off.  He was screaming that they shouldn't let them get him. It was horrible. 

 I didn't want Katie to have to witness that, she'd been doing so well and it would just have hurt her even more.  I told him to stay away from us, I really thought that was for the best, I didn't think he was going to get better.'  Karen buried her head in her hands with a sob.  'I just wanted what was best for Katie.'

Amy didn't know what to do; she reached out and patted Karen's shoulder comfortingly.  The woman was clearly very scared and feeling guilty.  Amy could understand how she must have felt seeing Murdock that way, it was hard to deal with him sometimes now and she knew that he wasn't harmful and a lot better than he had been.

Karen lifted her head.  'He needed us the most then and we weren't there for him.  He thought of me as a sister, had always regarded Tony as a brother and Katie he saw almost as his, I think he often wished that Katie was his daughter.'

Amy blinked, she'd never really seen Murdock as the kind to want to settle down and have children, much less as someone who would be in envy of other people's children.

'Oh I know you can't see him feeling that way but he did back then before the war changed him.  He wanted to get married and have a whole houseful of children.  Now there's not much chance of that, not if he's in a psychiatric hospital.  I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid Amy because when I looked at him before he ran out of there after her, he didn't look sane, he looked ready to kill.'

*** 

Murdock was driving, driving was good, if he concentrated on that then he wouldn't be able to worry about what was wrong with Katie, whether Carl had hurt her yet and how the hell he was going to get in there and get her out.

That was his theory anyway; unfortunately his mind kept drifting back to Carl pulling her out of the hospital at gunpoint, to the moment when he'd fired the gun at that child of three purposefully missing to prove his point.

His hands clenched around the steering wheel, he was aware that what he was doing was both reckless and risky but he didn't care.  It would have been sensible to take the others with him, have a bit of back-up and for Hannibal to come up with one of his genius plans but he hadn't.  He kept thinking of the blood, so much blood, it seemed impossible that so much blood could come from one person and that that person could still live.

If he took with him people that he cared about then those people were only going to get hurt and he'd had enough of Carl hurting the people he cared about, it was going to stop now.  He also knew that to do this, to get Katie away from Carl and make sure he couldn't hurt anyone else would mean doing things he didn't really want to do.  Things that could tip him right over the edge of the insanity cliff on which he was so precariously perched.

He had no choice, he had to do this and hope that Katie would be able to forgive him for it.

**** 

Face kicked at a stone on the sidewalk, they were heading back to Karen's house where Hannibal was sure Amy would have taken Karen.

'I can't believe you just let him go like that, man.'  BA said again, he shook his head.  'You saw what he was like, the fool's only going to get himself killed.'

Hannibal nodded and told BA again why he'd done it.  'He feels he has no choice BA, none of us could have persuaded him otherwise and it's better he feels that we haven't stood in his way.'

'He's unstable Hannibal and we've just let him drive off with our transport, armed and dangerous.  BA's right he's going to get himself killed either that or put in jail.'  Face sighed dejectedly.

'We haven't let him do anything, he just thinks we have, we're going to get Amy's car and then go after him.'

Face's head shot up and he stared in surprise at his colonel.  Hannibal looked shocked.  'Face, don't tell me you actually thought I was just going to let him drive off and not do anything about it?  You should know me better than that.'  Hannibal shook his head and smirked.

'Oh man, he's on the jazz.'  BA said.

'Yeah.'  Face murmured in relief.  'And about time.  You've got a plan I suppose?'

'I have indeed, Face it's going to be up to your powers of persuasion to let Amy take her car and I'll need some more guns and ammo since Murdock just drove off with all of it.'

'He said he was going to dump…I mean leave the van somewhere so we could pick it up.'  Face quickly amended his sentence as saw the look on BA's face; they really hadn't nicknamed him Bad Attitude for nothing.

'Yes but by the time he's done he'll be across the border and we'll have lost him.'  Hannibal explained hooking his thumbs in the back pockets of his jeans as he walked. 

Face frowned and narrowed his eyes.  'But I thought he said that Carl was going back to the apartment in Mexico.'

'No, he said Carl was going back to Mexico but Carl's not stupid Face, he's aware that he'll be found if he goes back to the apartment.  He's got somewhere else where his business is gonna take place.'

'So how is Murdock gonna find him?'  BA asked with growing dread, he had a feeling in his gut and those kinda feelings were rarely wrong.

'He's gonna work with Carl on whatever operation it is that's going down.'  Hannibal said simply and Face's eyes widened in shock.

'No, he wouldn't do that.  It'd be…well, suicide.  Carl's out for his blood.'

'Exactly, that's why Carl's taken Katie and Murdock is well aware of that.  He'll be thinking that if he tells Carl he wants to be part of his operation then he'll either let Katie go or will leave her alone.'

'But Murdock must know that Carl will only kill him and then do what he wants with Katie afterwards.'

'Probably deep down he knows that but he's not thinking clearly right now.  He's seeing everything in black and white, he's kidding himself that he can do something about it if he acts like the hero which is exactly what is going to get him killed.'  They arrived at Karen's front door and Hannibal knocked.  'Unless we can get to him first.'


	13. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

It was noon when Carl finally told Joey to stop at a hotel, they were right near the border but Carl wanted to get some rest and meet up with some of the others before crossing over into Mexico.

He paid for two rooms, one for him and Joey and another for Katie.  He took Katie into the room and tied her unceremoniously to a chair. 

'Is there really any need for this?'  Katie protested as Carl tightened the knots on her wrists.

Carl snorted in sarcastic disbelief.  'If you think I'm going to leave you alone in here where you can just get up and leave then think again.  I've some very important business negotiations to settle so I need some peace and quiet, something I don't think you're capable of giving me.'

Katie winced as the rope bit into her skin.  'You know that when he comes after me he'll bring the rest of the team.  You are in for a serious ass kicking Carl.'

Her captor just looked at her.  'You keep right on believing that sweetheart but it isn't going to get you rescued.'  He turned and left the room leaving Katie alone with her thoughts.

*** 

Carl entered his hotel room and looked around it with a glare of distaste, it was cheap and he didn't like it.  For the past few years he'd been used to more pleasant surroundings.  He turned to the other occupants of the room and favoured them with a disgusted glance.  They were good at firing guns and hitting people but when it came to taking orders they were pretty much useless.  He couldn't wait for the rest of his unit; they at least listened and supported him instead of lounging about the place drinking beer.  Once the unit was here then he could get rid of these clowns.

'Is she secure?'  A voice asked.   The owner of the voice stepped out of the bathroom and looked at Carl enquiringly. He was a little different from the rest of the men in the room.  He could not be regarded as a clown; to even speak to this man with one ounce of disrespect was suicide.  He was a major drug dealer and some said he had connections with the Mafia and while Carl had no idea whether the latter was true; he could well believe it.

'There's no way she's going anywhere sir.'  Carl said, this man was his boss; it had been his idea that they use Katie to get back at Murdock.  Carl had suggested that Eddie be the scapegoat in the operation, not that that would be too hard, Katie's stepfather was already a scapegoat in this man's eyes as it was.  He owed the man a lot of money and Carl suspected that Eddie didn't have the money to pay it back which would mean that Eddie would shortly find himself lacking kneecaps or worse a life.  

At the moment should anything go wrong it would be Eddie who would find himself to blame, Eddie who would be jailed as an accessory to the kidnapping of Karen and probably Katie too.  And he would probably be the one who would eventually be jailed for the murder of Captain HM Murdock.

Jay McNamara, drug dealer and hitman crossed to a nearby chair and sat down.  He was inclined to agree with Carl's judgement of the other men in the room but they were necessary for his carefully thought out plan to work.  He had thought it foolproof but he hadn't counted on Katherine Anderson, he had agreed with Carl that she would almost certainly contact the elusive A-Team and that they would follow the trail to Mexico.  But he had not reckoned that she would be with them when they did. Nor had he imagined that she would come charging into the apartment where they were holding her mother captive.  The girl was either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.

'And Murdock?'  McNamara asked Carl in smooth tones, he finally had the plan back on track thanks to Carl's knowledge of Murdock's weaknesses.  Not that the Captain had that many, injured animals was one but that brought out the man's softer side and what McNamara needed now was for the pilot and former CIA man to be angry.  And Carl had told him that if they were to hurt his friends, those he considered family then that would have the desired effect.  And it had, McNamara had heard reports of the Captain's behaviour since Carl had shot Tony Anderson's daughter and endangered her life and he was slowly becoming unhinged.  The fact that he had gone to the desert to kill Carl for her intrigued McNamara, this young woman brought out the Captain's protective side.  It was obvious that she, along with the A-Team was his weak spot.

Carl was speaking but McNamara didn't seem to be listening.  He waited for some reaction but there was none; the drug dealer seemed to be deep in thought.  Finally McNamara looked up aware that his associate was waiting for him to respond.

'I'm sorry, you were saying?'  

Carl cleared his throat.  'Murdock's on his way, he's following the car as we thought he would.  The driver said he should be here soon.'

'Good.'  McNamara said.  'Let's hope he's willing to negotiate for Katherine's life.'

'I have a feeling that he will want to do more than negotiate.'  Carl told him.  'I know Murdock, in some respects he hasn't changed since we worked together.  He cares deeply for Katie, that means he'll do anything to make sure she's safe, I'd judge he's going to ask us to let her go and in exchange he'll stay with us.'

McNamara nodded.  'I wouldn't expect anything less from him, he seems to almost enjoy playing the hero, well he's going to have a surprise.  Carlos, station a man downstairs, I want to know the moment he arrives.'

Carl nodded and was about to make the arrangements when McNamara spoke again.  'How much does she know about our plans Carl?'

'She thinks that this is something to do with me wanting to get revenge on Murdock for something that happened a long time ago and she's blaming herself, of course, for contacting them.  But she's unaware of your part in it.'

'And is she aware of what it is that you want to get revenge for?'

'Oh no and Murdock hasn't told her either, he's obviously realised that to do so would put her in danger.  That's why he's travelling alone and without his unit, he knows that if they were with him then they'd be in danger too.'

McNamara smiled.  'Does he really think that they will just let him go off half-cocked on a mission like this?'

'Mr McNamara, he isn't thinking of anything but saving Katherine's life.'

*** 

'No absolutely not.'  Amy said, her arms were crossed across her chest and she had taken a decidedly defensive stance.

'Amy, we need to go after Murdock before something happens to him; we also have to rescue Katie.  To do both of those things we need some form of transportation, since Murdock took the van your car is the only thing left.  We're not just talking about beating up a few bad guys here; we're talking about saving lives: Murdock's and Katie's.  Face was putting his all into persuading Amy to lend them her car.  He supposed he couldn't blame her, every time they borrowed her car they ended up destroying it.  But he could see he was getting through to her, she was about to relent.

'Face, I understand that but you'll only destroy it, can't you scam a car?'

'Yes I could but that would take time and in that time Murdock could get across the border and we'd lose him and our advantage.  Besides, your car is linked up to the radio in the van and we might be able to contact him.'  Face's voice rose as he tried to get his point across.

'Amy?'  Karen asked softly and Amy, with a reluctant sigh, dropped the car keys into Face's hand.

'Just try and bring this one back in one piece.  And be careful.'  

Face smiled charmingly.  'Thank you.  I knew you would make the right choice.'

'Face, just go.'  Amy said. She had spent long enough around the conman to know when he was truly being sincere and when he wasn't.  This was one of the times when he wasn't, when he was being nice to get her to do something she didn't want to do.

BA reached over and put a many-ringed hand on Karen's shoulder.  'We'll get her back.'

Karen nodded tearfully.  'Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.'  She murmured and BA gave her a smile of acknowledgment.

***** 

Carl stood at the mirror shaving off his beard, he hadn't really liked it and now it wasn't really necessary.  They'd be looking for a man with a beard so it was safer to get rid of it.

There was a knock on the door and a minute later one of Carl's men stepped into the room. 'He's downstairs.'  

Carl midway through shaving nodded.  'You know what to do.'  He put the razor to his face and carried on removing the beard as if the fact that the plan was about to be put into action did not bother him.  Nothing could be further from the truth, he felt nervous, Murdock was unstable and he couldn't be sure of what he would do.  He could be wrong and Murdock might just decide to take them all on and get Katie the hell out of there.  Not that this would cause a problem, there were plenty of people here who could take on the pilot even in his craziest mood.  He heard McNamara leave the room and knew that it was starting.

*** 

McNamara exited the room and head towards the room where they were holding Katie.  He opened the door quietly and stepped inside.  The young woman's head lifted to see who it was that had entered, she frowned when she saw him, unsure as to who he was and whether she could trust him.

'Katherine.'  He said simply, shutting the door behind him and locking it.  He saw the look on her face when he used her full name.  It annoyed her that a complete stranger would call her by the name that only her father had ever used for her.  He smiled affably.   'I hope things haven't been too unpleasant for you.'

'Who are you?'  She demanded her eyes never leaving him.  He could see the resemblance to her father not only in her face but in her manner as well.

'You can call me Jay.'  He replied sitting down on the bed where she could easily see him.  'I expect you're wondering why you're here?'

'Well I thought maybe you were going to wine and dine me but looking at you I'm guessing not.  You're a little old for me.'

Jay laughed but he was beginning to feel irritated, apparently the girl had inherited her father's habit of talking back to people.  He was going to have to do something about that but then again the event that was about to take place would probably wipe the smirk off her face permanently.

Katie regarded the man with caution.  He was handsome in his own way; he had bright blue eyes, dark hair that hung down to his shoulders and a cultured accent that seemed to be a mixture of French, British and American.  He was young, in his late twenties but he carried himself with an air of confidence that suggested he thought he was untouchable.  Katie hated him on sight.

The fact that he called her Katherine definitely irked her.  When Carl had done it she had barely noticed mainly because he'd done it to annoy her but this man seemed to take it for granted that it was his unspoken right to call her by her full name and that bothered her.

'So tell me why am I here?'  She asked shifting in the chair as much as the ropes would allow.

Jay smiled charmingly.  'I believe Carl has told you that it involves Murdock.'

Katie nodded.  'That's what he said, what do you say?'

'That Carl is impetuous, he thinks only of getting revenge on the Captain, he doesn't consider how dangerous he could be to us.'

'So, you're working with Carl?'

'You could say that or you could say that he works for me, whichever way you wish to view it.'

'And how do I fit into all this?'  She asked calmly.  She must be conscious of the fact that he could kill her at any time he chose but she didn't seem to be bothered by it.

'You, muchacho, are a necessity to get what I want.'  Katie's eyes narrowed once more as she heard Jay use Murdock's word.  When Murdock said it, it was a term of endearment but when Jay said it, it sounded like a threat.  And she had a suspicion that Jay knew that and had done it for that reason.

'And what do you want?'  She asked with a shake in her voice.  Carl's words that this was all her fault revolved round in her head.

Jay smiled and got up; he walked over to the door, unlocked it and then walked back to Katie.  He stood behind her and then leant down and whispered in her ear.  'You'll see.'

The door opened and Jay straightened up placing his hands on Katie's shoulders.  Carl entered.  'Mr McNamara.'  He said formally and Katie tensed, she was well aware of who McNamara was, she'd read reports of him in the newspapers; she hadn't known what he looked like.  She'd been aware that Carl was mixed up in bad company but not this bad.

'What is it?'  McNamara asked tersely.

'We have someone here who would like to join our operation, he thinks he may be of use.'  There was a smirk on Carl's face and Katie felt apprehensive.

'Well bring him in.' McNamara directed.  Carl stepped aside to allow the newcomer to enter the room and Katie felt her insides freeze.  

'No.' She whispered under her breath, unaware that she had spoken, as Murdock entered the room.  His gaze slid right past her and fixed itself on McNamara.  He nodded to the man.

'Captain, how nice to finally meet you.  I understand you're interested in joining our operation.  How fortunate that you've finally seen straight, I thought I was going to be disappointed.'

Murdock shrugged.  'If you wanted me to come here you could have just asked instead of kidnapping people.'  He didn't look at Katie but kept his eyes on McNamara.  Katie was acutely aware of the fact that he was no longer acting crazy, there seemed to be no crazy about him at all.

'I hope it wasn't too difficult to find us.'  McNamara tightened his hands on Katie's shoulders.

'Not with your men leading the way, no.'

McNamara smiled tightly.  'So tell me, what exactly do you think you can do for me?'

Murdock stuck his hands in his pockets and regarded the hitman coldly.  'I think that should be the other way round don't you?  After all you kidnap my friends, you must have a reason for that; obviously you want me here.  I have no idea why, why don't you tell me.'

'I did bring you here to kill you Captain but I did not realise that you wanted to join my mission.  I believe that you could be of use to us.'

Now Murdock did look at Katie but his eyes were blank and emotionless, it was as if he didn't even know her.  'She's just a kid; a naïve child who has no idea what is going on here.  There was no need to bring her into my business McNamara, Carl has nearly killed her once already, I have trouble believing she's part of your plan.'

'And why is that?'

'Because I can't understand why you would want a snivelling, child with a history of mental issues along on a mission which is so important to you.'

It felt to Katie as if she'd been punched.  She couldn't believe he was saying this or that he knew about her past with the counsellors.  After her father had died she'd had problems adjusting, even all Murdock had done to help hadn't been enough.  She'd seen several counsellors when the dreams had started.  Just how much did he know about her?  The thought that maybe he knew things about her that even she wasn't aware of scared her.  But not as much as the look in his eyes right now.  It was hard to believe that this was the same man she'd met a week ago, the one who'd told her he wouldn't let anything happen to her or her mother.

'Interesting view Captain, considering not so long ago you were willing to kill for her.  I wonder what it is that has inspired your sudden change of heart.'

Murdock rolled his eyes.  'I was willing to kill Carl because he brought other people into a situation that should have been between him and me alone.  If you want to know the reason why I've been so protective of her then it's because I feel sorry for her, hasn't been easy on her but I managed to cut my ties with her until you included her in this.'

Katie could only stare and McNamara smirked.  'I see and why exactly do you think I shouldn't kill you now?  I have every reason to, because of you Carl spent several years in prison, and I suffered from this.  I lost trade, money and years of my life running from the Feds.'

'Because I can help you, you've already got the rest of my unit on your tail, I can divert the attention away from you and as I see it you need a decent pilot.'

McNamara smiled.  'You don't disappoint Captain, agreed, you are now part of this operation.'  He gestured to Carl.  'We'll give you and Katherine some time alone, I understand you have a lot of catching up to do.'

An uneasy silence filled the room when Carl and McNamara left and Katie just stared at Murdock unable to speak.  He stood with his back to her, staring silently out the window.

Finally Katie found her voice.  'I knew Face was good a pulling scams but you, you're nothing but a lying son-of-a-bitch.'

Murdock didn't answer her.  His stance was tense and he didn't move.  

'I trusted you and you have no idea just how hard it was to do that.  I was scared for my mother and I was willing to put my faith in four men who I didn't even remember.  Men I had heard great things about.  You were the hardest one to trust because you brought with you painful memories.  I worked hard to get past those memories, to be a normal person again after the counselling.  Now you throw my trust back in my face.'

'I'm sorry you had to think that.' He said impassively.  'It was the way it had to be.'

Katie's anger flared.  'Did you plan this from the beginning you bastard?  Did you?'  Her voice rose to a shriek.  'Did you just use me to get here?  Did you know this was going to happen?'

He turned back to her, his own temper erupting.  'Stop making this about you Katherine.  It wasn't just you I used, I did what I had to do, end of story.  You just happened to be there.'

Katie wanted to scream at him, tell him how much she hated him at that moment but she couldn't.  Her tongue was frozen by the harshness that exploded from him.  He was admitting that he'd used her, her mother and the team.  They'd just been pawns to him.  She felt sick to her stomach; everything he'd told her had been a lie. He didn't care, the man who had cared was gone, he was a stranger to her now, someone who wore Murdock's face but wasn't Murdock.

'Why bother?'  She asked.  'Why go to all the trouble of making me remember that if you didn't care.  What did I do to you that you had to make me feel like this.'  The words were out before she could stop them.

He suddenly flew at her, stopping right before he touched her.  His face was inches away from hers and in it she could see all the anger, hatred and violence.  He leaned in closer, so close that when he spoke his breath tickled the fine hairs on her neck.  'I'm crazy, I can do whatever I want.'  He whispered and she shuddered.

She remembered the look that had been in his eyes when she'd told him that she didn't remember him.  He'd been hurt and then almost angry but not at her.  He hadn't been angry with her.  How could that man who had been too shy to tell her that he loved her like family, the man who had held her hand whilst she'd been on the verge of dying, how could that man stab her in the back so callously and not care?  How could he do that?  She swallowed hard as she saw all her hopes of being rescued slip away from her; she was going to die.

'Keep your mouth shut and maybe you'll stay alive.'  Murdock told her.  'If you're real lucky maybe I won't be the one who has to kill you.'  He pulled back and turned towards the door.  'It was nothing against you personally baby.'  He opened the door and walked out.

Katie bit her lip and a sob escaped her.  It was too much to deal with; she couldn't stand the hate that radiated off of him, hate that was aimed at her.  How could he change so quickly and completely?


	14. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN 

After a meeting with McNamara, Carl and Murdock bundled Katie into a car and set off for the border.  Carl drove and Murdock sat in the back with Katie, he didn't speak to her at all, barely even looked at her.  She found she couldn't look at him either.

They crossed over into Mexico without incident and Katie felt her last reserves of hope dry up.  It was all over now; the guys would never find her.   Still Murdock didn't acknowledge her.

He'd been the one who'd come and got her before they left.  She shuddered as she remembered that confrontation, worse than the one that had gone before it.  Harsh words had been exchanged from both sides and then he'd pulled her roughly from her chair and hauled her into the car that they now sat in.

She couldn't stand being even this close to him and she couldn't believe the change in him.  It was if all his earlier craziness had been an act, maybe it had been or maybe he was crazy in a different way now.  Whatever it had been she didn't like the person whom she now shared a car with.  Probably, something to do with the fact that he had a gun about his person, ready to use it if he had to and Katie had no doubt that he would if he judged it necessary.

The car began to slow down and Katie saw that they were stopping for gas.  It was now or never, if she wanted to get away now was the time.  As the car pulled to a stop she spoke for the first time since they'd left the hotel.

'I need the bathroom.'

Carl glared at her and sighed.  'Ok.'  He got out and opened her door, taking her arm and pulling her out, making it seem to onlookers that he was helping her out rather than forcing her.  He slid an arm around her waist and steered her in the direction of the bathroom.

Katie opened the door to the ladies lavatories and the whirled around and hit Carl.  He'd been expecting it but she still managed surprise him by bringing the knee of her good leg up at the same time and catching him in the groin.  He collapsed to his knees with a soundless gasp.  She smashed her fist into his face, ignoring the pain and mentally thanking BA for teaching her how to hit properly.  If she hadn't asked him then things might be very different right now.  But they weren't and Carl was on the floor.

She was about to make a run for it when she spied a truck sitting without a driver in the cab.  She walked over to it and got inside, there was a radio.  Picking it up she dialled the frequency for BA's van.

'Hello, is anyone there.'  She could only hope that she'd got the frequency right.

*** 

It took Hannibal and the others a little while to pick up Murdock's trail, this was hindered by having to stop and pick up supplies so that Face could get them across the border without going past border patrol.  They'd just crossed into Mexico when the radio in Amy's car buzzed into life.

'Hello, is anyone there?' A voice asked. It was Katie.

Face reached over from the front passenger seat and grabbed for the radio.  'Hello?'

'Face?'  Came the relieved question.

'It's me Katie, where are you?  Is Murdock with you?'  Face asked anxiously.

'Mexico, not that far from the border, Murdock's here but he's joined Carl's operation.'

'Can you tell me where you are exactly?'

'A gas station.'  

Face waited until she'd told him her exact location. 

'Ok stay there.'

'I can't Face; Carl'll be looking for me.  I'll start working my way back towards you.'

'Are you ok?'  Face asked quickly, knowing that she might not be able to talk for much longer.

'I'm fine for now anyway, pick me up and I'll explain every…'She was suddenly cut off and there was a yell.

'Katie? Katie!'  Face practically shouted into the radio.  BA shot him a concerned look.

*** 

Katie had just told Face where they were and asked that they pick her up when she was suddenly pulled roughly from the cab of the van.  Murdock swung her round and stared into her face.

'What are you doing?' He demanded and when Katie remained silent he reached for the radio, which was dangling on its lead keeping a tight grip on her arm as he did so.

'Face.'  He said.

'Murdock?'  Face returned somewhat uncertainly.

'Whatever she's just said to you, ignore it.  Turn round and go home.'

'No!' Katie yelled, she twisted out of his grip and ran.

'Shit!'  Murdock cursed.  'Just leave Face, forget about me, forget about her.  Just go home!'

'Murdock!'  Face's voice exclaimed through the radio but by this time there was no‑one there to hear him, Murdock was running after Katie as fast as he could.

Katie headed out towards the greenery at the edge of the gas station lot.  There was a steep embankment and she ran along the edge of this.  Murdock caught up with her and tackled her around the waist, bringing her to the floor and sending them both tumbling down the embankment.

They rolled down it and he kept a tight hold on her.  Dust coated them both and their clothing caught on tree branches.  Finally they reached the bottom and they both lay still for a moment in the dirt.  Murdock still with his arms around Katie's waist.

Dazed, Katie finally regained her senses and found she was staring at Murdock.  She struggled away from him but he held fast to her.  She opened her mouth and screamed for help.

The cry was cut off as Murdock clapped a hand over her mouth silencing her.  'Shhh.' He said.  'Just keep quiet and listen to me for a moment.  I'm going to take my hand away and you're not going to scream ok?'

She didn't answer.  'Katie, it's ok.' He told her reassuringly but she stared at him with terrified eyes.  His heart wrenched painfully, he'd meant for her to believe it but not so completely, it was time to stop the con. Any minute now she was going to break away and start making noise and he couldn't risk that.

'Katie it was all a lie, I had to make Carl believe me.  I'm still me, ok.'

She shook her head and he saw that she still didn't trust him.  He took his hand away from her mouth carefully.

'How can I know you're telling the truth?  You said it was all a lie before and now you're telling me that it was a lie that you lied.  Which is the lie?'  She asked angrily.

He took her face in his hands. 'Look at me, do you think I'm lying to you?'

She stared into his eyes and saw all the warmth that she remembered, the old Murdock.  Her eyes filled with tears and she knew he was telling the truth but even if he wasn't she realised that she no longer cared.

He pulled her close and held her for a moment knowing how terrified she was. 'It's ok, it's going to be ok, I promise.  I'm sorry it had to be like that but I needed Carl to believe and the only way for that to happen was for you to believe too.'

She pulled away and slapped his arm.  'I can't believe all the things you said.  I believed every single one of them, I thought you hated me.'

He laughed.  'No, but if I'd gone in there and done it any other way I couldn't have guaranteed that you'd be safe.  Carl or McNamara might have killed you but if they thought I was one of them then you might have had a better chance.'

'Did you know about McNamara?'

'I had about as much idea as you did.'  He pulled her close again and hugged her harder this time; he reached up and kissed her forehead lightly in a fatherly way.  'Katie when I say I want you to get up and run.  I want you to run as hard and as fast as you can and I don't want you to look back.  Just keep running, find the guys and tell them to go, not to worry about me, I'm going to be fine.'

Katie pulled away and shook her head in protest.  'But…'

'No buts just do it ok.  No questions, no nothing.  We crazies have to do crazy things sometimes and this is one of those times.'  He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.  'You're daddy was a good man and I miss him very much.  I wish I could have done things better, looked out for you more.  Try not to forget me this time around ok.'

She couldn't speak just looked at him too choked with emotion and dismay.  She couldn't believe what he was saying.  So much information, conflicting everything she knew had bombarded her in the past few hours, she no longer knew what to think.

'Go.'  He said and she found herself getting to her feet and turning and running for the open space.

Murdock got to his feet and dusted himself off.  He didn't watch her go, he knew he couldn't, he'd feel as if he'd failed her and Tony if he did.  Instead he turned and headed back up the embankment.  He hadn't gone more than a few steps when something bowled him over from behind.  A body slamming into him.

With a groan he sat up.  Katie stared back at him, tears streaming down her cheeks though he thought she wasn't aware that she was crying.  She reached out and slapped him across the face.  He stared at her slightly dazed.

'You think I'm just going to run away and leave you to them?  You really think I'm that much of a coward?  You are going to get yourself killed and I just cannot walk away and let that happen.  I'd never forgive myself and if Dad was here he would never let you do this.'

Murdock grinned widely although he was deeply touched.  After the way he'd treated her he'd just expected her to go.

'A few minutes ago you would have gone.'

'A few minutes ago I thought you were on their side.'

'Katie, you're going to get hurt again if you stay.'

'And what about you?'  She asked defiantly.

Murdock laughed heartily.  'Oh you're Tony's daughter all right, all spunk and fieriness.  Rush in like a fool and don't bother to think about the consequences.'  He turned serious.  'I can't keep you safe anymore; they're going to work it out.  They could kill you and I am not going to be responsible for that as well.'  He curled his lip slightly. 'Besides, Billy needs looking after.'

'To hell with Billy!'  Katie hissed and instantly regretted it when she saw the look on Murdock's face.  It was as if she'd uttered some forbidden blasphemy.  'Sorry.' She said apologetically.

'It's ok; I know you don't mean that but I guess you're right; he could look after himself.  But not you, I don't want anymore arguments, I'm ordering you to go, now.'

'And just how far do you think I'm going to get?  My leg is hurting as it is, I'll never make it and I am not just leaving you here.  Carl brought me into this, he hurt my Mom and he is going to pay.  I want to be around for that.  Face it, the only way I'm going to run is if you're running with me.' She crossed her arms and tried to look determined and not scared to the soles of her shoes.

Murdock tried not to smile knowing that she was being sincere.  'Ok.'

Katie hadn't heard him; she carried on pitching her case.  'I am not going to run away even if I might die, I nearly did that already and I'm not scared.  If I run now then that's the way it's going to be for the rest of my life, I'll always be running from him and…what?'

Incredibly enough, he was laughing, not too loud in case someone heard him but his eyes shone and he grinned showing bright, white, even teeth.  'I said ok.'

Katie just stared at him.  'Oh.  Really?'

'Yeah, you're right, you can't get far with your leg; I thought you did well running away from me.  Just don't do anything stupid and be ready.'

Katie smiled.  'Ok, lets go before they start suspecting something's up.'  She wiped at her eyes.  'God I'm such a baby.'

Murdock reached out and grabbed her hand.  'No, wait.  Think you could turn on the waterworks again if you had to?'

'Yeah, why?'

This time Murdock's grin was dazzling and reached right to his eyes.  'Cos I've got a plan.'

*** 

'Even if we catch up with their trail at the gas station there's no guarantee we'll be able to find them.'  Face argued. 'They won't hang around there for long.'

Hannibal sighed.  'And what do you suggest we do Lieutenant?  Just leave them out there on their own with a madman?'

'Which one are you calling the madman, Murdock or Carl?'  Face asked.

'We're not leaving anyone anywhere.'  BA put in angrily.  'When I catch up with Carl, I'm gonna give that sucker a whole new look.'

'Easy there BA.'  Hannibal told him.  BA just grunted in return and focused on the road ahead of him.

'He'd better not have messed with my van.'

'Oh I'm sure the van'll be fine, BA, its Murdock you have to worry about.'  Face put in darkly.  'Apparently the dark side appealed to him.'

'Hannibal's right, the fool thinks he can keep Katie safe by pretending he wants to be one of them.  Carl ain't never gonna buy it.'

'You'd be surprised BA, Murdock can be very convincing, think of all those times Face has had to bust him out of the VA and some of the things he's done for us.  No, I think Carl will be persuaded that this is what Murdock wants to do.'  Hannibal pointed out putting on his black gloves.

'What about Katie?'  Face asked looking again at the map to see where they had to go.  'Surely Carl will be able to tell by her reaction.'

'No.' Hannibal said confidently.  'Remember what she said when we talked to her.  She was convinced herself that Murdock was with Carl's team.'

'The fool seemed pretty convinced about it too.'  BA murmured.

'He has to be to convince Carl.  For it to work Katie has to believe that what he's telling Carl is the truth and for Katie to believe it Murdock has to at least half-way believe it himself.'

'What about what he told us?  Go home?  Does he really think we'll do that?'  Face asked doubtfully.

'Murdock doesn't think, that's why he's in this mess.'  BA told Face, shifting in his seat.  He was feeling edgy, that gut feeling that this was going to go bad was getting worse.

'Yes, that worried me too.'  Hannibal admitted, lighting a new cigar.  'He certainly wants us out of the way.'

'So what are we going to do?'

'Find out where Carl's hiding and give him a good old A-Team welcome home party.'  Hannibal grinned round the cigar and snickered.

*** 

Carl stumbled to his feet and groaned.  He'd blacked out for a few minutes and the girl had gotten away.  That would not please McNamara who already had plans for her.  He walked towards the car and saw that it was empty.  Where the hell was Murdock?

Maybe he'd seen Katie make her escape and had gone after her.  Carl walked a little way towards the undergrowth.  There were sounds of a scuffle and Murdock emerged pulling a struggling Katie along with him.  Both had a black eye.  Murdock had his arms around Katie's waist and she was kicking out and thrashing about violently.  Her face was tearstained, her clothes and Murdock's were coated in dust.

'Stop it!'  Murdock told her forcefully.

'No!'  She shrieked, still struggling and kicking.  Murdock practically threw her to the ground and grabbed her arms, shoving his face right up against hers.  

'Don't make me have to make you stop.'  He threatened.  Carl approached him.

'What happened?'

Murdock released Katie.  'I caught her running away, had a devil of a time catching up with her.  Fast little runner.'

'Yeah good with her fists too as you can tell.'

Murdock nodded. 'Yeah.'  He touched the bruising on his own face.  'Too damn good.'

Katie got to her feet and tried to run.  Murdock reached out and caught her easily around the waist, pulling her back. 'No, no, no!  You are not going anywhere.  Is the transport ready?'  He asked Carl, pinning Katie's arms to her sides as she continued to resist.

'It's ready.  Lets get her in the back before we start attracting attention.'

'Quiet now.'  Murdock said as if he was talking to a child or an animal.  'Shhhhh.  That's it.  Better, now no more trying to run away, no more trying to hit me and no more struggling.'  He touched the side of her face making her flinch.  'Be good and we won't hurt you Katie girl.'

Katie promptly spat in his face.  Murdock wiped her spittle out of his eyes and shrugged.  'I did warn you.'  He held his hand out to Carl who fumbled about in his coat pocket before bringing out a syringe and a bottle.

Murdock pulled Katie into the bushes away from prying eyes.  'Go get the van.' He told Carl and the man hesitated and then hurried away.

As soon as he was gone Murdock let Katie go.  'You were better than I expected.'  He rubbed his jaw.   'Did ya really have to hit so hard?'

'You said make it look real, what now?'

'You're going to sleep for a little while.  Best way, he can't hurt you if you're unconscious.'

'You sure about that?'  Katie asked tensely.  She didn't like the idea of being drugged.

'I'll _make_ sure.'  He told her.  'It's ok, it won't hurt you, not this small a dosage.  We give this stuff to BA all the time and he's fine.'

Katie still looked a little uneasy but she held out her arm.  There was a sharp stinging sensation and then Murdock was pulling the needle out of her arm.  'See, easy as pie.'

'Yeah, I thought it would be worse then that.'  She pitched forward into his waiting arms.

'It could still be.'  He murmured.  'It still could be.  If only you could stay that way for this entire thing.'  He picked her up in his arms and carried her over to the van, which had just pulled up.  It was large and white, there was nothing about it that would attract attention or make it easy to remember.  He laid her carefully in the back of it.

Carl got out of the drivers seat.  'You drive.'  He said simply.

'I was gonna stay in back with her, make sure she doesn't come round and try and jump out.'

'I can do that.'

Murdock stopped, no way was he letting this sleaze bag stay in the back of the van by himself with Katie.  Whether it would mean Carl becoming suspicious about him or not.

'No.' He protested.

'She needs to be taught a lesson Murdock and I am just the person to do that.  Don't tell me you've got a soft spot for her after all.'

'Maybe I have and maybe I haven't.  I'm still not letting you get in the back of the van with her on your own.  Whilst she's conscious or unconscious.  And believe me Carl if you lay a hand on her in the wrong way I'll tear you apart.  McNamara or no McNamara.'

Carl smirked.  'Have it your way.'


	15. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Katie opened her eyes slowly feeling like she'd been hit over the head with a piece of 2 by 4.  Her head was thumping and at first she had trouble focusing on her surroundings.  The first thing she saw was a pair of blue and white sneakers.  She knew those sneakers, knew the person wearing them.  She hoisted herself into a sitting position and noticed that large brown boxes were all around her.

Murdock looked over at her.  'Hey.'  He said and carried on rifling through one of the boxes.  'How you feeling?'  He asked looking deeper into the box.

'Terrible.'  She answered gingerly touching her forehead, at least it was dim in the van; at the moment even the smallest amount of light bothered her.   'What you doing?'

'Trying to find out what it is McNamara's shipping over here.  Carl told me that we had to pick up some gear in this van and take it to him.'  He pulled out more bubble wrap and shook his head.  'But so far all I've found is these.'  He tossed something at her.  A gun.

'Wow, how much 'gear' does he have?'

'A lot but I don't think that's all.'  He went to one of the boxes nearer the back of the van and opened it.  He shoved his arm in and with a tight smile pulled out a clear bag filled with white powder.

Katie's eyes widened.  'Is that what I think it is?'

Murdock shrugged and opened the bag carefully.  He put a small amount on the tip of his tongue.  'Yeah, cannabis.'

Katie made a face.  'So it's a drug and arms operation is it?'

'Apparently.  Wish you'd gone when I'd told you to.  He could be working for the big boys.'  He popped some bubble wrap absentmindedly.

'You can wish all you want, I'm staying put, just tell me what to do.'

Murdock resealed the boxes and moved back to sit beside her.  'Hand me my harmonica.'

Katie blinked.  'You don't have a…oh, right, nice to see you're back to normal.'

'Yeah couldn't disappoint my public could I.' He grinned.  'So, you stay out the way and let me do the talking muchacho.'  

'Fine with me, right now it's a struggle just to construct coherent sentences.'

'You'll better in a while.  It'll wear off eventually.'  

'So what's McNamara's plan?'

'I have no idea; he just said that Carl and I had to pick up this stuff and meet him at the rendezvous point.  Then we'll drive to the nearest airstrip and I fly us to some nice island where we live the high life.  In theory anyway, presuming he doesn't kill me before then.'

Katie winced.  'Would he?'

'I don't know, he doesn't trust me; I think that this is some kind of trial.  If I perform well I get to play with the big boys.  Not sure I can hold out for much longer though, do you have any idea how hard it is trying to act sane?'

'I'm sure you're doing fine Murdock.  So what's my part, by rights he should be finished with me now that he's got what he wants.'

Murdock looked at her.  'What do you mean 'what he wants'?  What does he want?'

Katie looked surprised.  'He told me that I was 'a necessity' to get what he wanted.  When I asked him what that was he said I'd see.  Then you walked in.'

Murdock was thoughtful for a moment, mulling over this.  'So he wanted me there, I knew that he sent those goons in the cars after me but I thought he was going to use _you_ as his ticket out of here.  He needs to get away from the country and having a hostage means if he runs into trouble they'll let him go.'

'Yes but with a hostage, he's going to be drawing attention to himself.'

'Maybe that's what he wants to do.'

'Do you think he's buying it Murdock?'  Katie asked nervously.

Murdock shrugged.  'Who knows.'

The van pulled to a stop and Murdock opened the doors and got out.

*** 

'Come on Face.'  BA muttered under his breath, he was eager to get on the move.  They'd been stuck here for nearly ten minutes, which was too long in his book; he wanted to be back on the road after Murdock.  He had no idea what the crazy fool thought he was doing but it was bad whatever it was.

'Relax BA.'  Hannibal said from beside him, sensing the sergeant's restlessness.  'He'll be back in a minute and then we can find them.'

'I'm not bothered about the fool, just want to find my van.'  BA said gruffly but he knew that Hannibal knew that he didn't mean it.  He thought of the pilot as a brother but would never admit that not even to himself.  'Fool better not have been messin' with it or he'll pay.'

Hannibal didn't answer he was too busy trying to figure out a plan.  The door opened and Face jumped in.  'Might want to make a quick getaway, I think I offended someone back there.'

'You _think_ you offended someone?'  Hannibal asked as the noise of running feet on the sidewalk was heard.  'I'd say you definitely did.  Step on it BA.'

The car jumped into action before Face's pursuers could reach it.  'What did you say to them?'  Hannibal asked but Face only smiled and handed him a folder.

Hannibal leafed through it with an amused look.  'I have to admit this is good stuff, well done.'

Face grinned.  'Well, you know it was nothing really.  Hope that's enough I didn't have much time to conduct a thorough search.'

'Guns and drugs?  I'd say that's more than enough Face.  Now all we need is an address, they've got to be making the deal somewhere.  Carl must have a place he uses.'  Hannibal flipped through the file some more and stopped, holding up a picture so that Face could see it.

Face blinked and took the picture from Hannibal.  'That's Murdock.'  He said and then looked closer.  'And Katie.'

'Yes.'  Hannibal mused.   He pulled out a few more pieces of paper.  'Interesting, take a look at this Face; the guy's been collecting quite a scrapbook here.  He's got files on all of us, Murdock included.  He must have planned this from the beginning.'

Face caught on. 'You mean he kidnapped Karen so that Katie would call us and get Murdock involved?'  

BA made a noise in the back of his throat. 'Sucker's gonna pay.'  He growled.

'Right.'  Hannibal answered and then sighed.  'So there's something more to this than we thought, somehow Murdock's involved in all this.  We need to find out where they are before he gets himself killed.  Carl's a dangerous man.  BA take the next right, it's time to call on an old friend and find out where Carl's hiding himself.'

***

Murdock jumped out of the van and stared around at his surroundings, the place was bare just dirt and grass.  A Spanish-style house sprawled across the landscape; McNamara was obviously well connected if he could afford to live in a place like this.  The sky above was grey and the shadows were beginning to grow longer.  He estimated the time to be about three o'clock.

Carl came round from the driver's cab and nodded to him.  'We're here.'  He said and gestured towards the house.  'What do you think?'

'Bigger than I expected.'  Murdock said.  'Where do we unload the gear?'

Carl smirked.  'You're out of the loop man, we don't.  The lackey's do that for us, why do the dirty work when someone else can do it for you.  Better get her out now, why don't you go on in.'

Murdock stood his ground determined not to move.  He knew what the Carl of his younger years had been like and it looked as if he hadn't changed much.  What he was likely to do to Katie just because he could didn't bear thinking about.

Carl shook his head.  'You still don't trust me do you Captain?'

'Why should I Carl, you tried to kill me after all and you did kidnap Karen and then Katie.  I might be in on this operation now but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let my guard down.'  He reached inside the van and yanked Katie out and let her drop to the ground.

She didn't move and Carl looked down at her, seeing tear tracks on the girl's face.  'What the hell did you do to her?  McNamara is not going to be pleased if you've been messing around with her.'

Murdock laughed.  'If _I've_ been messing around with her?  What was it you were going to do if I'd let you get in the back of the van with her?'

Katie gave a sob and scrambled away.  Carl pulled her to her feet and noticed that there was fresh bruising on her cheek.

'What'd she do?'  He asked Murdock.

'Oh she just needed to learn who the boss is around here.'  Murdock smiled.  

'Let's just get her inside.'  Carl said. 'And you'd better not start spewing that crap around McNamara, he's edgy when it comes to people muscling in on his territory.  He's liable to kill you for so much as looking at him wrong.'

Murdock laughed again.  'You amaze me Carl, you act such the big boy but all the time you're working for McNamara, nothing more than a messenger boy.'

Carl grabbed Murdock's arm.  'Watch what you say, I could still decide to take you apart if I decided to.  McNamara may give the orders but that doesn't stop me from killing who I want.'

Murdock shrugged.  'I get the impression that he wants me alive.  Be careful muchacho, I might replace you as the golden boy.'  He pulled himself from Carl's grip and taking hold of Katie's arm dragged her towards the house.

*** 

BA slammed the man against the wall.  'Come on Eddie, we know that you know where they are.'  Hannibal said taking out a fresh cigar and biting off the tip.

Katie's stepfather just spluttered indistinguishably and shook his head.  He was a slimy creature and Hannibal did not like him at all.   He couldn't understand why Karen had taken it into her head to marry him.

BA tightened his grip.  'You gonna tell us where they are sucker and you gonna tell us now before I get really mad.'

'You might want to listen to him, he's serious.'  Face put in.  'If you know anything I suggest you tell us before he rips your head off.'

Eddie just squealed and tried to wriggle out of BA's vice-like grip.  'I don't know anything, Carl's just an old gambling buddy, that's all it is I swear.'

'Not good enough Eddie.'  Hannibal said in a dangerous tone, lighting the cigar and inhaling.  'We know you know Carl and we also know that you're involved in this whole thing.  Now Carl's made off with Katie and we want to know where he's taken her.'

'I was just supposed to make sure that Katie contacted you guys and then they wanted to know what hospital she was in.  I just gave them the information, Carl and McNamara didn't involve me in the operation, I don't know anything about it.'

'Who's McNamara?'  BA asked with menace.

'Wait a minute.'  Face interjected before Eddie could respond. 'Are you talking about Jay McNamara?  The hitman?'

Eddie groaned.  'He'll kill me if I tell you anything.'

'Oh you won't have to worry about that.'  Hannibal said pleasantly.  'Because if you don't tell us then BA here is going to do the job for him.' 

Eddie whimpered and shook his head.  BA bared his teeth and the man shrieked in terror. 'Ok, ok.  Just don't hurt me.'

'BA put him down.'  Hannibal ordered and BA hesitated before lowering Eddie so that his feet touched the floor.  He didn't let go of the man just shoved him into a chair.

'Talk.'  Hannibal instructed sitting down on the edge of the table and facing the frightened man.

'McNamara and Carl organised this whole thing as a way of getting Murdock.  Carl wanted to make him mad and I owed them money so McNamara said that if I was involved then the debt would be paid and I could forget about it.

McNamara is running an operation, guns and drugs smuggling, he's got a house.  If he's going to take her anywhere then he'll have to take here there.  I don't know what they're planning to do with Murdock, I know that McNamara wanted him here but I don't know why.  They didn't tell me.'

'What's the address?'  Face asked.

'I don't know.'  

'The address sucker!'  BA yelled.

The man jumped and hurried over to the desk and picked up a piece of paper.  He handed it to Hannibal who read it and nodded.

'Ok, lets go.'  He picked up a piece of rope.  'I'm sure you'll understand why I have to do this.  Wouldn't want you warning them that we're coming.'  He tied Eddie up and gagged him.

His team followed him out the door to the car.

*** 

The room that they'd put Katie in was small and had only one window.  It was locked and there was nothing that she could break it with.  There was a man on the door outside and all she could do was wait and see what happened.

She was worried about Murdock; the look in his eyes when he and Carl had been arguing bothered her.  He was a walking a dangerous line at the moment and the smallest thing could spark him off.  He looked as if he might be prepared to kill Carl if he had to.

The door opened as she was thinking over this and McNamara shoved Murdock inside.  Katie looked up with an expression of fear.  He'd found out.

'Looks like you're about to have company Katherine.'

Murdock got to his feet.  'Let her go McNamara.'

'Oh not this again.'  The hitman sighed and shook his head.  'It's bad enough that I find out that you're a liar Captain but it's quite another thing to try and play the hero.  Be careful that you don't really make me mad, I might decide to get a little trigger happy.'

This fired Murdock's anger and he flew at McNamara. 'You touch her, you hurt her and I'll kill you!'

Katie grabbed at his arm. 'Don't.'  She said softly.  'It's what he wants.'

Murdock reluctantly backed off and put a protective arm around Katie.

'It's a promise McNamara, whatever you've got planned you make sure she doesn't figure in it.'

McNamara laughed and shrugged.  'Whatever you say Captain; maybe I'll let you explain why she's in this situation in the first place.  What exactly it was that you did that meant she lost her father.'

'Enough shit.'  The pilot exclaimed.  'I'm not going to let you mess with her head the way Carl tried to with her mother.'

Katie was shocked, never in her life had she heard Murdock swear.  It was a strange feeling, she now saw him as more human than as invincible.  She'd never got over that impression from when she was a child that her father and Murdock were her guardians and nothing bad could ever happen if she was around them.

McNamara didn't answer just left the room and Murdock leaned against the wall.  'I'm sorry.'  He said softly.

'It's ok.'  Katie murmured.  'He was always going to figure it out, it was just sooner than we'd expected, we'll get out of this somehow.'

Murdock looked up.  'No, I meant sorry for swearing in front of you.'

For a moment Katie just looked at him and then realised that he was perfectly serious.  'I'm not eight anymore, you don't have to apologise.'

Murdock smiled. 'Some habits are hard to break.'  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of bubble wrap and began popping the bubbles.  A childlike smile touched his lips and he slid down to a sitting position on the floor.  He seemed more relaxed now that he didn't have to pretend to be sane.

'What did you mean about not letting him mess with my head like Carl did with Mom's?  And what did he mean about explaining why I'm in this situation?'

Murdock didn't answer just concentrated on popping bubbles.  Katie went over and sat down next to him.  He closed his eyes and sang softly.  'Time is on my side. Time is on my side.  Now you always say that you want to be free.  But you'll come running back; you'll come running back. You'll come running back to me.'

Katie smiled as Murdock sang, she knew it was just his way of avoiding the subject but she wasn't going to let it pass, not this time.  There was too much she still had to know.

'You know what that is?'  Murdock asked quietly and she understood that this did have some relevance to the situation at hand.  It was important to him in some way.

'The Rolling Stones, Time is on my side.'  She answered automatically.

'Yeah.' He smiled wistfully and let the bubble wrap fall from his fingers.  'Your daddy loved the Stones, loved that song.'

Katie frowned and then nodded.  'That's right he'd sing that to me every night right before bed.'

Murdock bobbed his head once in indication that he remembered too but he couldn't speak.

Katie closed her eyes, some memories were still too far away, and some she'd just forgotten over the natural course of time.  Others she'd made herself forget.  The ones that included Murdock mostly.

'And, uh, Elvis Presley, Suspicious Minds, he'd sing that one to ya as well.'  His voice was choked with emotion.  'You could be as wide awake as anything and then he'd sing that to you and you'd drop right off.'

Katie looked at him and finally saw it.  What the war had done to him, it had torn him apart inside, turned him inside out and made him crazy.  But worse it had hurt him, left scars on his soul and made him scared.  Scared of losing the people he cared about, if he had to lose just one more person that he loved then it would destroy him.  That was why he was here now because he couldn't stand to lose her or the team.

'I'm sorry I couldn't save him for you.' He said his Texan drawl thickening.

Katie reached out and gripped his hand tightly.  'It's not your fault and I'm not asking you to tell me anything you don't want to.  I understand but something's happened here and I'd rather hear it from you than from McNamara or Carl.  I don't trust them not to lie to me but I trust you to give me the truth.'

Murdock gave a bitter laugh and looked up at the ceiling.  'Too late for that muchacho, way too late for that.  Oh, I really wish you'd just run for the hills when I told you to, it would be so much easier on you if you had.'

'I don't care about easy.  Nothing's been easy for me since the day he died and you went away.'

'Yeah I know.'  He sighed.  'And I'm sorry about that too.  I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you really needed me.'

'That's ok; you had other things to worry about.  You were going crazy yourself.'

'Yeah seeing things that aren't there.  And I'm still seeing, still crazy and that probably is never gonna change.  It's just gonna be this way until I die and maybe it'll get worse like it was in the beginning.  Maybe I'll lose myself completely.'

'You won't.  We won't let you, not me, not Mom, not the team.'

Murdock looked at her now, stared right into her eyes.  'Charlie didn't kill him Katie.  I did it.'

Katie froze feeling like the world was falling away from under her.  A lump rose in her throat and she struggled to breathe.  It was amazing how something that came so easy and naturally could suddenly become so difficult.  Normally she breathed without thinking about it, it just happened but now it was an effort and she couldn't figure out how to do it.

'No.' She said numbly.  'God no, you didn't.  You couldn't.'  Her hand dropped out of his and unconsciously she began moving away from him.

'It's not as if he was the first person I killed.  It was war, we did what we had to do.'

Katie smacked the heels of her hands against her eyes to block out the sight of him but it didn't work.  Behind her closed eyelids she saw him standing before her father, gun in hand; a murderer.

He reached out and touched her shoulder and a sob tore from her throat.  'Don't touch me.'  She managed to get out but her voice was hoarse.  'How?'  

'You don't want…'

'HOW!'  She screamed at him, she couldn't stand listening to him try to push it away.  McNamara had told her and she'd refused to listen, she'd had blind faith in him, even when he'd been acting as if she was nothing, she'd still held a glimmer of hope that it was all a lie.  How could she have been fooled so easily?

'McNamara was right wasn't he?  The only reason you stuck around was because you felt guilty.  That was all it was guilt, a sick way of trying to make up for what you did.'

He said nothing just stared at the wall unable to speak.  Unable to form words.  He felt dead inside, nothing else mattered now just so long as she was safe like he'd promised Tony she would be when he lay dying and on the day they'd put him in the ground.

He hadn't been able to deal with it, the weight of it had eaten away at him and finally he'd snapped, gone crazy.  And that was all it was, crazy was a way of hiding, if he was crazy he had an excuse.   Except that when it had happened he hadn't been crazy, when it had happened he'd been sane.

'If it hadn't been for me he'd still be alive now.'  Murdock said.  'It was when we were in the CIA together.'

Katie looked up startled; she hadn't known that her father had been in the CIA.

'Yeah I know you didn't know about that, you weren't supposed to.  He was trying to protect you.  We were both trying to protect you. That was all that mattered.  Carl was with us back then and one day he had the assignment of flying an agent to another country, I can't tell you about that assignment even though it's been at least 20 years. 

 But basically he killed the agent and took some important papers, we didn't know he'd done it; he came back without the agent and claimed he'd done the drop-off and everything was fine.  Until the guy didn't report in.  Of course we weren't informed we only found out about that later.  

Tony and I, we caught him trying to sell the information in those papers and told the CO.  There was an investigation and Carl was tried and then sent down.  We were called on to give evidence, Tony nearly didn't do it, and your mom and I had to really convince him how important it was.  He said that he didn't want to risk anything happening to him or to Karen if Carl didn't get sent down.

I convinced him and he gave the evidence.  When the sentence had been passed, Carl managed to call me.  He said that one day he'd be out and then he'd come after me and those I cared about.  The next day he called Tony, said more or less the same thing but from what he told me it was worse, he threatened your mother and any children that they would have.

That was when Tony said he wanted out of the CIA and I decided I did too.  I tried to tell him that Carl was just intimidating us but he still worried; he worried more when your mom told him she was pregnant.

We signed up for the army and were shipped out to 'Nam a few years later.  You know I told you that Charlie opened fire, well that's true.  They did start a firefight out of nowhere.  But they found out that the bullet that killed him was one of ours not the enemy's.

Tony wasn't supposed to be in that 'copter.  I was supposed to fly but I was so tired from flying all the previous night that I asked him if he could take my place, even though he was in a different unit.  He agreed, they were gunning for me, if I'd have gone like I should have done then he'd still be alive, I'd be the one that was dead, like it was supposed to be.'

Katie was quiet, this revelation was startling but she felt relieved.  She'd thought he'd actually killed her father.  'Who did kill him?'  She asked, not sure she wanted the answer, afraid that he'd tell her that it had been him who had pulled the trigger.

'A guy who's dead now, he was one of Carl's buddy's when we were in the CIA.  Carl had him do that job, he was collaborating with the enemy.'

'Murdock when you said you killed him I thought you really meant it.'

'I do mean it; for all intents and purposes I might as well have pulled the trigger myself.  I'm responsible for his death and he knew that it was down to Carl, he asked me to look out for you, muchacho, and I didn't.  You're right where you shouldn't be, stuck in the middle of this.'

'No, I am right where I want to be, helping to bring down the creep that was responsible for killing my father.'

'Then, Katie, they should give you a gun right now because you are looking at him.'  Murdock said and his eyes glimmered over brightly.

'Don't lose it on me now Murdock.  It is not your fault, it happened, so maybe they were gunning for you and maybe they really did want to kill him.  So what if you should have been on that chopper.  What happened, happened, you can't change it.'

Murdock nodded.  'But I should have been around for this, this was what he was always afraid of, what we were always afraid of.  I should have been more prepared.'

'We can sit here and play the 'what if' game all day but we don't have time.  Work out a way to get us out of here and do it fast.'

'I think I've exhausted all my plans.  I'm not used to it, Hannibal comes up with the bright ideas.'

'Well try harder, I don't want McNamara deciding that maybe it's time to visit my mom again.'

'He won't do that; he has an operation going down with McNamara.  Anyway plans give me a headache.  It's a lot of work for a crazy man.'

Katie looked at him and shook her head.  It amazed her how he could be upset one minute and crazy the next.  He still looked a little down and she moved closer to him.  He put an arm round her shoulders and her head rested on his shoulder the way it used to.

'It's gonna be ok though.' He said.  'I promise you that, one way or another I will get us out of here in one piece.'


	16. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

'Are you sure this is gonna work Hannibal?'  Face asked doubtfully.   They were staring at BA's van.  Hannibal had found it after Murdock had briefly radioed in earlier.  He'd just given them the location and that had been it. Before they could get anything else out of him, except that they should go home, he'd gone.  BA had expressed his opinion that it was easy for him to say that, he was the only one out of all them who had a fixed residence.  Home for the rest of them was wherever they could afford to lay their head.

'Of course it'll work Face.  It always works.'  Hannibal grinned showing a mouthful of white teeth.  Face sighed, it always made him nervous when Hannibal had the jazz in his eyes and that grin on his face.

The van seemed to be in tip-top condition except for that fact that they had made a few modifications to the engine, this meant that it would now run faster.  And speed was what they needed, not only if they were to catch up with Murdock but also when it came to dragging him out of there.  It was clear that pilot would not want to come with them; force might have to be used.  Not that that was too much of a problem, when it came to force BA was all they needed.

Face laid out the guns he'd managed to scam from an unsuspecting gun store.  The man never even knew what had happened to him, one moment everything was fine, the next this man was in the shop and had managed to wheedle several expensive automatics out of him.

Hannibal looked over them and checked the clips.  'Nice Face, you really do work well under pressure don't you.'

Face grinned and shrugged.  'Have you ever known me to fail?'

Hannibal shook his head.  'Not that I know of, no.  But I'm sure that if it hasn't happened already it will one day.  Not everyone is immune to your charms.'

Face tried to look hurt but wasn't really, he knew that his friend wasn't really thinking about much other than the plan to get Murdock and Katie out of McNamara's place.

BA brought round the holdall that contained the grenades and dynamite, they were planning a full-scale assault that Face wasn't really sure was going to succeed.

Hannibal's plan consisted of busting right in and depended on the element of surprise.  Face, who had experience of Hannibal's previous plans, was dubious.  For a start they were a man down, not that that was really a problem, they'd survived before but something always went wrong somehow in Hannibal's plans.  Someone always got mad at them.

BA wasn't really concerned with whether or not the plan was gonna work, he was just looking forward to making the suckers pay.  Of course he wasn't necessarily happy about it, Hannibal always made him nervous when he was on the Jazz and besides the modifications to his van had been tricky.  This had better work.

Hannibal pulled out the map and spread it out on the worktable they were using.  Somehow Face had scammed them this garage to use for a while, Hannibal wasn't sure he even wanted to know what it was that Face had done to wangle that one.

'Right, this is where McNamara is hiding out.'  Hannibal's finger traced a spot on the map.  'I'm presuming that he has guards posted at various intervals.  They should be fairly easy to take out, the tricky part will be finding Murdock and Katie and getting them out of there.  Murdock isn't going to want to come with us and chances are Katie isn't going to want to leave without him.  BA you might have to knock him out.'

'No problem.'  BA said punching his fist and bouncing on the balls of his toes.  

'Uh, BA, if you do have to do it, go easy on him ok.  We don't want to wind up giving him a concussion even if he did steal the van.'

BA nodded and Face wondered if BA even knew how to go easy on someone.  Hannibal was talking again.

'Now we're going to go in fast and get the job done, don't stop to admire the scenery, just find them and get them out.  Face did you get the radios?'

Face nodded and pulled three radios out of the holdall.  Hannibal took one and looked it over with a grimace.

'You managed all right with the guns.  What went wrong?'

Face opened his mouth but decided not to bother with a retort.  He suddenly realised that it would have been at this point that Murdock would have said something whether to defend him or to tease him.  It was the first time he'd actually stopped and had a chance to miss the guy and he realised just how much of a hole there was without him.  The team wasn't complete and couldn't be again until Murdock was back in their midst.  He hoped that would be soon.

*** 

Katie was still sitting leaning against Murdock.  He still hadn't thought of a plan.  'You know back at the gas station you said you had a plan.  What was that?'

'Doesn't matter, won't work now they found me out.'  His mouth worked itself into an expression of thoughtfulness.  Katie sighed and then looked at him with a small smile.

'You know what, I think _I _have an idea.'

'You?'  Murdock asked doubtfully.

'Yeah, me.  Billy whispered in my ear.'  She told him defiantly.

'Billy isn't here.'  Murdock said suspiciously giving her his full attention.

'Well ok, no he's not but I thought you might find that more believable.'  

Murdock beamed and she mentally congratulated herself on reading him right.  She'd sparked his interest and he was more likely to listen to her now.

'Well, I was thinking about what you said about turning on the waterworks.  Feel like letting some of that craziness out?'

Murdock's eyes lit up instantly.

*** 

Barry Mason was the man McNamara had put on the door to make sure that Katie and Murdock didn't try anything.  They'd been quiet the whole time and Barry was sure that that couldn't be a good thing.  In his experience in situations like this people usually kicked up a lot more fuss when they knew that they were going to die.  Something was bound to happen sooner or later, Barry hoped it would be later.

Sure enough there came a scream from inside the locked room and then there were sounds of a struggle.  Barry opened the door cautiously.  Stepping inside, he closed it and looked around the room.

The girl was curled up on the small bed in the corner but the guy was nowhere to be seen.  'Where'd he go?'  Barry asked.

The girl shook her head.  'He hit me, he hit me.'  She sobbed and Barry couldn't help feeling sorry for her.  She was just a kid.  He didn't stay sorry for long because Murdock suddenly attacked from behind coming out of the corner where he'd managed to hide himself screaming something about killer carrots.  He tapped Barry on the shoulder and before the guard could react he'd slammed his fist into his stomach and curled his fingers in Barry's hair bringing his knee up to smash into his face.  Barry crumpled to the floor and Murdock shook his head.

'I should tell Carl to hire better guards.  Really sleeping on the job is just unacceptable.'  He reached down and removed the gun from the unconscious Barry's belt.

'Murdock you didn't have to hit him quite that hard.' Katie said disapprovingly, getting up off the bed and wiping her eyes.

'I don't know what you're talking about; I never touched him.  He just fell down; I can't help it if he's incompetent.  McNamara should train 'em better.'

Shaking her head Katie followed him out of the room.  They kept to the wall and inched along wanting to stay out of sight for as long as possible.

Murdock hefted the gun and stopped on the corner.  He could see a guard just ahead; McNamara had already proved how nervous he was; Murdock had noticed guards everywhere when he'd come in.  This was gonna be tricky.

Katie paused and Murdock signalled for her to wait where she was.  He moved forward as silently as a cat hunting its prey.  He put the hand with the gun in it behind his back to shield it from view.  Creeping forward he stopped just before the corner and then stepped around it.  Katie held her breath.

There was the sound of scuffling and then Murdock reappeared signalling for to move forward.  She joined him and looked at the body of the guard lying on the floor.  He had a nasty black eye.  Murdock just grinned at her obviously in his element.  Katie leaned down and picked up the gun that the unconscious man had dropped.

'What you doing?'  Murdock hissed angrily.

'Insurance.'  Katie said and as she straightened up she came face to face with Murdock.

'Put it back.'  He told her and Katie stared at him, she wasn't quite his height so she had to tilt her head but she managed a look of defiance.

'No.'

Murdock rolled his eyes.  'We don't have time for this, put the gun back.  I'm not having you running around armed.  Guns aren't toys for children.'

'I'm not a child.'  She retorted angrily and as he reached forward to grab the gun from her she pulled her hand back.

'I don't care these things are used to kill, that is not something you want to be doing.  No matter what Carl did to your dad.  And I'm the Captain and I'm telling you to give it to me.'

'Don't you start pulling rank on me.  I don't take orders from you and I have no intention of killing anyone.  I don't intend to fire it but it has other uses.  I can clobber someone pretty good on the back of the head with this.'

Murdock still didn't look happy.  'Ok but just be careful.'  He pointed to the safety.  'That's the safety better keep it on for now.'

'I know where the safety is.'  She clicked it on and raised her eyebrows at him silently asking if there was anything else that he wanted to argue about. 

A small smile tugged at his lips as he looked at the fiery young woman standing in front of him glaring up at him.  She had guts just like her dad and he knew Tony would have been proud to see the way his daughter had turned out.

'Let's go muchacho.'  He said with a slight grin, he didn't want her to think that he was laughing at her.  'Got some bugs to flush out.'  He wiggled his eyebrows and Katie laughed softly.

'Lead the way Captain.'  She said teasingly and he was glad to see that smile on her face again.  As long as they could keep moving and he could keep her mind off what might happen to both of them then they'd be all right.

*** 

'Ok BA, you ready?'  Hannibal asked his sergeant as they sat in the van just near the entrance to McNamara's house.

'I'm ready.'  BA said with conviction and his brown eyes darkened.  'That fool had better want to come home or he's gonna regret it.'

Face swallowed nervously.  He hated it when BA was in this kind of mood, he never knew what the guy was gonna do.  He was as dangerous as Hannibal on the Jazz.

Each man was armed with a radio and two guns: one automatic and one small handgun.  The van was primed and ready for action as were the men in it.  

'Let's go.'  Hannibal instructed and BA stepped on the gas.  The van nearly took off, gathering speed at an alarming rate and zooming towards McNamara's house.  Men who had stepped in front of the van to make it stop jumped aside to avoid being run over.  BA slammed on the brakes just outside the house and the van slid sideways spraying sand and dirt everywhere before stopping.

Face jumped out and almost instantly the guards around the house came running, guns blazing.  Face started shooting and then someone grabbed him round the neck.  Face let his gun drop to the ground and grabbing hold of the man's arms he flipped him over his head and onto his back.  The man gave a groan and Face moved on, picking up his gun as he went.

*** 

Murdock and Katie ran towards the entrance of the house, desperately seeking the way out.  As they finally neared it McNamara stepped out from the shadows in front of them.

'No, I don't think so.'  He said calmly.  Murdock didn't think, didn't even bother stopping to trade insults or to argue, he just grabbed Katie's hand, swung her round and ran the other way.  He darted round corner after corner leading them away from the entrance and away from McNamara.  He saw a door and opened it, it led into a corridor; he let the door handle go so that it would close slowly and then pulled Katie in the opposite direction.

He opened another door and pulled her inside a small, storeroom.  Here, he let go of her hand and they both tried to catch their breath.

'Think he'll find us here?'  Katie asked gasping for breath.

'Dunno.  Hope not.'  Murdock looked around the room for something to use as a weapon.  They were severely outnumbered and it wasn't going to be easy to just bust their way out of there.

A sound came to his ears followed immediately by shouts and gunshots.  Relief and anger flooded through him. 

'That's BA's van.' He said turning to Katie.  She stared wide-eyed at Murdock.

'How can you tell?'  She asked in disbelief.

'I know the way she sounds, that's her all right.  We've got to get out of here.'

'Did you just expect them to do as they were told and go home Murdock?'  Katie asked as they looked for a way out.

Murdock paused and kept his back to her, not answering the question.

'You're not going to come with us are you?'  She asked in a voice that sounded like it was trying it's hardest not to cry.

'I…I have to stay here.'  He argued still not looking at her.

'Bull.'  She said her voice forced.  'You don't have to do anything.  You guys can finish up with McNamara and Carl easily.  You've done it before.  You want to stay.'

'That's not true.'  He whirled round to face her.  'These guys are after me, after you.  If we put them in prison they will still be after us.  Carl proved that when he had someone kill your daddy.  He was all safe and tucked up in a cell wearing stripes and he still managed to hurt us.  I have to end this, it's gone on too long.'

'Stop playing the hero, you're supposed to be crazy unless that was all a lie too.'

Murdock's eyes flashed and Katie wondered briefly if she's actually gone too far.  'I'm doing this for you and for your mom.  If you don't trust me then fine, I guess I've given you no reason to but that won't stop me from doing this muchacho.'

'Don't give me that, it's revenge nothing more.'

'You know Katherine, maybe you should stop being a brat and grow up.' 

Katie gaped at him, speechless.  He looked tense and shifty.  'You don't want them here do you?  You're yelling at me to get me moving, to make me angry so that I'll go with the guys and want to leave you here.  So that it doesn't matter so much when we leave you behind?'  She shook her head. 'Idiot!'  She proclaimed. 'That's not going to happen, we are not going to leave you behind.  They are out there now because they care about you and they are not just going to drive off and leave you all alone out here.'

Murdock swallowed. 'Can you smell ammonia?'  He asked nervously.

'Don't give me that!  I know all about that trick of yours.  And I'm tired of fighting with you; get us the hell out of here.  I want to go home.'

Murdock narrowed his eyes.  'Click your heels together and say there's no place like home.'

Katie retorted instantly.  'It won't work, I'm not wearing ruby slippers.'  He grinned and even in the semi-darkness she could see his white teeth flashing.

'I want to go home too muchacho but we have to get you safe first.'  He walked to the back of the storeroom and pulled some boxes away from the wall revealing a window.

'I'm perfectly safe, where could be safer than with a crazy person?'

'Takes one to know one.'  He shot back.

'And I learned it all from you.'  She grinned joining him by the window.  Murdock picked up a packet that was lying on one of the boxes.

'Hmm dog food.  Wonder if Billy would like it?'

'Sure, take it for him as a souvenir of the time you went running off after me and left him behind.' 

'He didn't mind, it isn't safe for him here.  I don't think he'd like these.'  Murdock replaced the dog biscuits and then pushed on the window, it didn't budge.

'It slides up.'  Katie said and Murdock pushed the window up.  Crawling out first he got to the ground and then helped her down.

He looked at her.  'Might want to get down.'  He said calmly.

'Why?'  

'Because we're about to get shot at.'  He said still perfectly calm.

'What makes you say that?'  She asked nervously.

'Experience.'  Murdock told her and then shoved her to the ground.  An instant later there was the sound of glass breaking and shards of the window covered them.  There was a sharp yell and then the sound of gunfire cut off abruptly.

Katie raised her head and saw a pair of feet wearing very good shoes in front of her.  As her gaze travelled upwards she found she was looking at Face.  She'd never been so glad to see anyone in her life; maybe he'd be able to snap Murdock out of his crazy ideas.  Face extended a hand and helped her up.  She got to her feet and shook glass out of her hair.

'Hannibal, BA.'  Face said into a radio.  'I've found them.'

'Meet us by the van.' Hannibal answered.

'Right.'  Face turned back to them.  'You two ok?'  He asked with a small smile.

'Just about.'  Katie murmured but Murdock nodded.  

'Sure, Facey, hunky dory.'

As they made their way to the van three more men jumped them but they were dealt with pretty easily.  Murdock pumped a few rounds into the van they'd arrived in as they went by.  A second later it exploded in a ball of flame.

'Ooh pretty.'  Murdock exclaimed, ran towards the van and ducked down as a shot exploded into the dirt before him.

Katie clicked the safety off her gun and aimed towards the place the shot had come from.  She fired; emptying her gun into the car the gunman was hiding behind.  It blew up sending debris flying.  She hunkered down next to Murdock.

Hannibal and BA appeared and then there was an eerie silence.  All the sounds stopped as soon as they'd begun.  They looked round carefully, there was no sight or sound of anyone.

'McNamara's pulled them back.'  Murdock murmured.  He was frowning obviously worried.  Katie didn't like it and neither did Face.  That kind of intensity on the features of his friend was unnatural.  Murdock had a face that deserved to smile, should be happy and it usually was but now it was troubled.

'He's regrouping.'  Hannibal said.  'He wants out now and he doesn't want them concentrating on us when he needs them elsewhere.  Right?'

Murdock nodded biting the inside of his cheek.  'Yeah Colonel.  He's gonna skip out of the country but the only way he's gonna do that is by air.'  Murdock eyes lit up and he got to his feet and ran off.

'Murdock.'  Face yelled.

'Come back here Fool.'  BA called.

Murdock shook his head.  'Sorry not this time, gotta do this.  Get Katie out of here.'

Katie got to her feet and went to the van's weapon's locker.  She pulled out a gun.  'Ok, lets end this.'  There was a look of determination.  'I'm not leaving here without Murdock so we might as well get this over with and go home.'

Hannibal looked at her wondering whether it would do any good to order her to stay.  He didn't think so. He and Murdock were likeminded; they could both see the resemblances between Katie and Tony.  They were both stubborn and hotheaded.  Hannibal knew that it was no use making her stay anywhere; she wanted to make sure Murdock was ok and that was what she was going to do.  He gritted his teeth, of course this didn't mean he had to be happy about the situation but he had to make the best of it.

'BA, with me.  We'll try to cut off McNamara and the others from inside the house.  Face, you and Katie go and back Murdock up.'

'Hannibal think it's a good idea for her to go with Face?  Could be dangerous.'  BA protested.

'No more than staying here or going with you and me.'  Hannibal answered and BA nodded no more at ease with the situation than the colonel was but likewise willing to accept it because he had no choice.

Face was on his feet now.  'You ready?'  He asked Katie and she nodded.  'Keep with me and be careful.'  He handed a radio and she clipped it to her belt.

'Sure.'  And Face knew that she wouldn't.  She'd do whatever she wanted to do regardless.  She and Murdock had a lot in common.

She and Face walked out moving slowly and carefully.  She kept by him and then suddenly it started again, the guns, the yelling, and the noise.  And then there were men everywhere.  She and Face were jumped by two and as Face dealt with them she slipped away to where she knew Murdock was headed.


	17. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN 

Murdock had made it halfway to the helipad before being attacked by a guard.  The man tried to take him by surprise but already had him on the floor before the guy could even hit him.  He ran on and then another tackled him, bringing him to the ground with a jarring thump that he knew he would regret the next day.  Murdock seeing that nothing else would work decided to settle for a head butt and hit the guy whilst he was too disorientated to defend himself, knocking him clean out.  

Getting to his feet Murdock dusted himself off and was about to retrieve his gun when he realised that someone was behind him.  He straightened up and turned around to see Carl with a gun in his hand.  He stared at the man staring at him.

'Carlos.'  He said evenly.

'Murdock.'  Carl replied.  His name wasn't really Carlos and it annoyed him when Murdock called him that which was why Murdock did it.  'Hope you're not thinking of going anywhere.'

'Oh I was thinking Lollipop Land with a stop at Looney Toon Ville on the way.'  He wiggled his eyebrows.  Carl tightened his grip on the gun.

Murdock was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that he was staring death right in the face.  And yet he carried on walking slowly towards Carl even though Carl had a gun pointed right at him.  Howling Mad Murdock was afraid of few things and death wasn't one of them.  Death was something to be cheated and cheat it he did.  He'd been cheating it for over ten years now.  He cheated it every time he and the team went on a mission, he'd cheated it in 'Nam and he cheated it every time he flew.

And above all it was fun.  Fun was the look on the guys faces when he did something really crazy, fun was taking an aeroplane into 180 degree roll and keeping it there for the rest of the flight home and fun was being crazy.

He cheated death for fun but he'd always known that one day his luck would run out and he'd lose.  Staring down the barrel of that gun Murdock knew as he had known since he'd come out here after Katie that this was that day when he laid down the cards and lost the game.  He'd been prepared for it and he accepted it.  

'Thought you could just come here and trick us into letting the girl go didn't ya?'  Carl taunted.  'Well you're wrong pal, dead wrong as in dead is what you're gonna be as soon as I pull this trigger.  And then the girl?  Well I think McNamara is gonna have some fun with her before he finishes her off.  Well can you blame him?  Pretty young girl like that, you must have just loved it.  Playing the Mr Nice Guy, I know you; this is all an act. You're nothing but a crazy, psycho, just another demented sicko.  You used her the way you use everyone Murdock, the way you used Tony.'

Murdock's cocky smile faded, his step faltered and his eyes hardened.  'Oh really?'  He asked icily and then he was walking towards Carl again purposefully; ready to make the man pay for what he'd just said.  Carl had gone too far, he'd gone to far several days ago when he'd dared to kidnap Katie and threaten her life.  But now, now he'd really overstepped the mark.

Carl fired the gun and someone shot Carl.  The man cried out falling to the ground clutching his side and Murdock felt his arm burn where Carl's bullet had grazed by it.  The wound wasn't serious.  He knew without looking up that it was Katie who had shot Carl and he walked slowly towards the felled man who was writhing in agony on the ground.  Thinking about how he was going to get the man to scream again when he planted one careful foot onto that sensitive place between the man's legs and made him feel what real pain was.

He stood looking over Carl, seeing the man gasping in pain, nothing more than a rabid animal now.  And Murdock had seen plenty of those at the VA; people who'd left themselves so far behind they no longer resembled a human being.

Carl reached up and Murdock too late saw the knife in his hand, felt it plunge into his belly, felt the sick hot pain that flared up in him.  And he saw Carl's body jerk as bullet after bullet struck him.  He gave a final scream and then lay still, blood pouring from his wounds as he died.

He saw Katie staring at the gun in her hand, the gun that had just taken the life of a human being, saw the pain in her eyes and then saw her drop the gun as if it were a live thing and the she was running towards him and grabbing hold of him as he started to collapse.  The pain was consuming everything now, he could barely see past it but he knew he had to hold on.  He had to hold on long enough to see the guys.  He had to hang on long enough to say goodbye.

Katie stared helplessly at Murdock and then reached for the radio Face had given her.  

'Face, Hannibal, BA?'

'Katie, where are you?  What's going on?' This was Face's voice sounding both annoyed and worried.

'It's Murdock.' She choked out.  'He's hurt bad, we're round by the back of the house.  Near to helipad.'

'We're on our way.'  Hannibal told her.

Katie put down the radio and took Murdock's hand in hers.  He looked pale and almost scared.  'It's going to be ok.'  She said and he nodded knowing that it wouldn't be.

'Katie.'  He croaked out, his throat suddenly dry.

'Don't try to talk.'  Her own voice trembled and he could see that she was terrified.  He managed a smile.

'It's not your fault muchacho.'  He told her firmly and then gave a groan as the pain became almost too much to bear.

He could see that she was trying to keep back the tears and he reached up his free hand and touched her cheek tenderly.  'Tony'd be real proud of you baby.  I am too.'  He summoned up enough strength to laugh.  'Don't worry about me, I'm paying the price for being crazy and not protecting you the way I should have done.'

Katie shook her head.  'No, don't feel that way.'  She felt afraid then that he would die here with her; alone and scared but when she looked at him he didn't look scared.  Just calm and accepting and she knew then that he was prepared come what may.

'Murdock.'  She said and her voice cracked.  'Don't go and leave me alone.  Just hang on; I know you can make it.  You didn't come all the way out here to save me and then die.  I won't let you do that.'

'You don't get a choice honey.'  He said.  And she nearly lost it then, he so rarely called her honey, in fact she couldn't remember when he had said it last.  'This is the way it has to be.  I'm only human.'

She clung to his hand as if it were a lifeline.  'Don't let him win, don't let him kill you.'  He was dying here and it was ironic.  Only a few days ago he'd been battling to save her life, had been forced to watch helplessly as she fought with all she had to live and now he was lying here and she knew exactly how he had felt.  They had switched roles and she so badly needed him to be the grown-up, she needed to be a child again and have him protect her.

He gave a shuddering breath and for a minute Katie thought that was it but his chest continued to rise and fall.  Face came running the corner; he skidded to a stop and hesitated for a just one moment before rushing forward to help.

He knelt on the other side of Murdock and one look at him and he was reaching for the radio.  'BA bring the van round we need to get him to hospital.'

'What's happening round there Lieutenant?'  Hannibal's voice came back sounding strained.

'Just get round here Hannibal, I don't have time for explanations.'  Face said for once speaking almost disrespectfully to his superior.  He put the radio down and looked at Katie.  'There's a first aid kit in the van with bandages, get it.'

Katie nodded and went both glad and afraid to be away from Murdock.  Murdock made a sound in the back of his throat and Face put a hand on his shoulder.  'It's gonna be ok.'  He said unknowingly echoing Katie's words and still Murdock did not believe them, worse, he knew that Face didn't believe them.  He wasn't sure whether to be angry or grateful for the lie.

'Face.'  Murdock said urgently.

'Don't talk.'  Face instructed looking at the knife embedded in Murdock's belly.

'The gun Face.  There' s a gun over by Carl's body, I need you to get it.'

Face looked at him wondering if he was delirious but with one look in the pilot's eyes he obeyed and brought the gun to Murdock.

'When you get a chance get rid of it.'  Murdock ordered with the last remains of his strength.

'I don't understand.'  Face said really concerned now.

'She shot Carl with it.  And they'll ask questions, she's just a kid, if they find out they'll put her away, she doesn't deserve that.  She was just trying to save my life.'  Murdock groaned and bit down on his lip.

Face looked over at Carl's bullet riddled body and nodded.  He concealed the gun about his person and concentrated on Murdock again.  He took off his jacket and then stripped off his shirt leaving only the green sleeveless vest he was wearing underneath.  He put the jacket to one side and folded up the shirt.

Katie came back with a box and Hannibal.  Hannibal took in the situation laid out before him grimly.  It was clear that the pilot didn't stand much chance.

'Katie, take his hand.'  Face told her and Katie did.  

'Hey.'  She whispered to Murdock.  'It's going to be alright.'

'I know.'  Murdock said through gritted teeth.

'Hannibal.'  Face said and Hannibal nodded understanding what it was that Face was going to do.  

He knelt next to the pilot.  'How you feeling Captain?'  He asked.

'Never better Colonel.'  Murdock answered and Hannibal gave him his best on-the-jazz grin.

'Talk to me Katie.'  Murdock asked sounding the first time almost scared.  He was aware of what Face was planning and knew that it was going to hurt.

Katie began talking about nothing in particular, things that they'd done, times when her father had been alive.  She barely even knew what she was saying; she just kept on talking.

Hannibal glanced at Face who signalled that he was ready.  Hannibal took hold of the knife hilt and pulled the blade out of Murdock's body.  Murdock screamed and his hand squeezed Katie's painfully enough that for a moment she was sure he'd broken it but she didn't cry out.  Only her face showed how much he'd hurt her.

The instant the knife was out, Face slapped the shirt over the wound and applied pressure.  The blood soaked through the shirt almost instantaneously.  Face knew he had to check to see if Murdock could be moved.  If any vital organs had been damaged moving him could kill him.  Not that there wasn't a chance that it could still happen.  He didn't stand much chance of surviving this but he was lucky that the blow hadn't killed him outright.  Carl must have missed.

Face peeled up the shirt and inserted two fingers into the wound.  Murdock let out a sharp hiss of pain.

'Missed the vital organs.'  Face said reassuringly.  They'd be able to move him into the van at least and get him to a hospital.  Even if it had to be one this side of the border.

Katie handed him the bandages and Face began bandaging the wound.  There wasn't a lot he could do but he could try to help.  Try to keep his friend alive long enough to reach the hospital.

The van came round the corner and stopped.  BA jumped out and his expression hardened as he saw Murdock.  Hannibal got up and went to the back of the van.  He removed a plank of wood on wheels.  They used it for transporting BA when they needed to fly and had to knock him out.  Much more effective and far easier than carrying the big guy.  Hannibal wheeled it over to Murdock and he and Face placed the wounded pilot onto it. 

Katie ran ahead to the van and got in.  BA didn't say anything to her but his look was compassionate.  For all his jibing he didn't want anything to happen to Murdock anymore than she did.

Face and Hannibal got Murdock into the van and almost at once BA was driving off in search of a hospital.  Katie took hold of Murdock's hand again and he squeezed her fingers reassuringly.

About halfway to the hospital Murdock slipped into unconsciousness and it took all three of them to bring him round again.  Katie was sure that he had ceased living for a minute during it.  But he opened his eyes again and his grip tightened on hers once more but she barely felt it.  She was staring blankly at the wall replaying the scene where she had killed Carl over and over in her head.

*** 

Afterwards she would remember it as a confusion of sounds and shapes.  Everything was blurred around the edges and she was aware of only Murdock's hand in hers.  She stayed holding his hand right until they took him away in the hospital and then there was the waiting.

It felt like they had been there forever waiting for someone to tell them how he was.  Katie didn't speak, didn't move, she had sank into a chair as the doctors took Murdock away and there she had stayed.  Staring into space and not responding to anything.  Face had tried talking to her but she barely heard him.

Finally someone appeared.  A nurse with a pitying expression on her face and a look of sympathy in her eyes.  Katie hated her on sight because she knew what it was that the nurse was going to tell her and she didn't want to hear it.

Hannibal and Face were on their feet immediately the nurse approached.  'I'm so very sorry.'  She said in English.  'We did everything we could for him but it was just too late.'

Katie realised that she was on her feet, she didn't remember standing but she somehow she was.  She stared at the nurse unable to comprehend the words that were coming out of her mouth.  She felt like screaming at her, taking the nurse by her shoulders and shaking her until she took back what she had just said.  The fog around her head seemed to break and everything was suddenly clear as it had been on the day she had been told her father was dead.

Murdock was dead.  And nothing she could do or say would bring him back.  The room spun and she sat down heavily in the chair.  Out of the window she could see the sun setting and she couldn't understand how there could be so much beauty when something so horrible had just happened. When her world had just ended.

She closed her eyes.


	18. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

'Miss Anderson?'  The doctor was talking to her but Katie realised with a start that she had been somewhere else entirely.

'Miss Anderson, are you alright?'  He asked her gently.  Katie raised her head and looked at him.

'No Doctor, I am not alright.  If I was alright would I be sitting here with you now?  I've lost a friend and I never understood how much I cared about him until he was gone.'

'Katherine.'  The doctor said in a failed attempt to put her at her ease.  'Losing someone you care about is never easy.  We often blame ourselves or wonder what we could have done to change things but you have to understand that you were not to blame for his death.'

It was an unspoken agreement that they would not say Murdock's name in these sessions.  Katie had been going to these sessions with Dr Jamison for the past two months ever since Murdock's doctor had suggested it.  She had been in his room at the VA when the doctor had approached her.  He often talked to her and he was aware that Katie was having problems dealing with Murdock's death.  He'd given her Dr Jamison's card telling her that he was a friend and that he felt it might help if she talked to him.  He had told her that whatever was said would be confidential.

Of course the details Katie could give Dr Jamison were limited and she could make no mention of the team in these sessions.  It would be too dangerous for everyone.

'Look Doctor for the past two months I have come to this office twice a week and we have talked.  I've told you everything from my childhood and the death of my father to the events that took place several months ago.  But you cannot understand him, you and his doctor, I am sure, have discussed this and you are aware that he was a patient in the mental ward at the VA.  You didn't know him and you've this idea that he was just a crazy war veteran.  That image is wrong, he was so much more than that, he was good, kind, sweet and he wasn't dangerous.  He might have been crazy but he was still a person and he was there when I needed him the most.'

'I fully understand that I cannot appreciate his…'

'He has a name goddamn it!'  Katie yelled suddenly making the doctor flinch.  'You know his name, say it!'

'Miss Anderson please calm down.  We both know why the use of this particular man's name is not permitted.'

'Only because he's an embarrassment to you.  He wasn't supposed to be in Mexico; he was supposed to be locked up safe and sound in the VA.  But he wasn't, he escaped and it wasn't the first time it had happened either.  You guys messed up and when he was murdered you got burned for it.  People started asking questions.'

'And do you feel to blame for this?'  The doctor asked suddenly.

Katie looked up.  'Yes.'  She said simply.  'Of course I do, he went all the way out there for me.  To get me back and to make sure I'd be safe.  If it hadn't had been for me then he would still be alive today.

'You were not the one who used the knife that killed him.'

'I might as well have been, I am as much to blame for his death as is the person that killed him.'

'I think we'll leave it there for today.'  The doctor said seeing that they weren't going to progress any further.  'Are you still having the dreams?'  

'No.' Katie said even though it wasn't true but if she admitted to still having them the doctor would give her medication and the last thing she wanted to do was pump herself full of drugs.

The doctor nodded.  'I'll see you again next week, see Marina at the desk, she'll give you an appointment.'

Katie nodded and stood up. 'Thank you.'  She said before leaving.

'My pleasure.'  The doctor said genially and Katie left.  She walked into the waiting area and made the appointment. Then she stepped out and headed towards the car where she knew he would be waiting.  As he had been waiting since she first started going to the sessions with the doctor.

She slid into to the car and stared ahead.  'How'd it go?'  Face asked carefully.

'Ok, pretty normal.'  She murmured.

'Good.'  Face said and started the engine.  He pulled out of the parking lot and the uncomfortable silence remained until he stopped the car once more about fifteen minutes later.

'Are you sure you want to do this?'  Face asked.  'You don't have to if you don't feel up to it.'

'No, I need to do it.'  She responded quietly still not looking at him.

'I could come in with you if you want.'

She shook her head.  'No I'll be fine.  You can go home if you want to, I can walk back.'

'No it's fine I'll wait.'

Katie sighed.  'Sure whatever.'  She got out of the car and headed towards the VA's main entrance.  She knew that Face was keeping an eye on her partly because her mother had asked him to and partly because he felt that it was what Murdock would have wanted.  Sometimes it bothered her that he thought she might do something stupid.  But then he had good reason to be worried; through that first month she had withdrawn almost entirely.  She'd nearly lost it completely and Face seemed determined to stick to her like glue in case she should break down again.

She opened Murdock's door and stood for a moment just taking everything in.  Everything in this room belonged to him and it was the closest that she would ever get to him now.  She could still smell the faint scent of his cologne and for a moment she could see him so clearly.

She came here after every session with Dr Jamison sometimes more often.  She was afraid of forgetting him again but here she couldn't forget him.  In this room she felt close to him, almost as if he could walk in that door at any moment.  

She closed the door quietly and walked towards the bed.  Kneeling down she retrieved something from under the bed.  It was a dog bowl, she placed it on the bed and looked round.

'Come on Billy, dinnertime.'  Almost immediately she saw the dog jump up on the bed and begin to eat the contents of the bowl.  It worried her sometimes how clearly she now saw Murdock's imaginary dog.  At first she had to really try hard to see him but it had gotten easier and now she found that she didn't have to try at all, he was just there.  She wondered if she was going crazy after all.

She moved towards the wardrobe and opened it.  Reaching in she took out a box and carried it to the bed.  Sitting down and stroking Billy's head softly she opened the box to examine its contents as she always did.

He'd left her a note under his pillow telling her that if he didn't come back then she was to look in the box.  She hadn't found the note the first time she'd been here.  It was a few days afterwards she'd come here and laid down on his bed and cried.  He'd seemed so far away then and she'd curled up on his bed, slipped her hand under his pillow and found the envelope with her name on it.

She'd been through this box a hundred times now but she didn't care, each time was the same as the first.  There were a couple of letters between Murdock and her father, a few photographs, some of her and some of a man and a woman she didn't recognise but that she took to be his parents.  And there were even a few of the team and a man she knew to be Ray Brenner.

But the important thing was the scrapbook; it filled in the gaps that even now she struggled with.  There were pictures and newspaper clippings, she found the clipping from their trial but that wasn't what interested her so much.  It was the pictures of her and her father and mother that interested her.  Old memories came back and she remembered things that she'd buried long ago.  She'd been afraid to think of Murdock for so long because to think of him was to think of her father and that was just too painful.  But it was different now, now she was terrified of forgetting him and the memories that he'd stirred up when he'd reappeared in her life.

Billy, hunger satisfied, curled up on the end of the bed and went to sleep.  Katie replaced everything back in the box and put it back in the wardrobe.  Then she went to talk to some of the other inmates at the VA.  Most of them were only too willing to talk about Murdock, she'd even found a couple of people who remembered her father and she'd had long conversations with them about what he'd been like during the war.

Today she headed for the games room.  It was virtually empty but Digby was seated by the window drawing something as he so often was.  She walked towards him and sat down next to him.

'Hey Digby.'  The man looked up at the sound of her voice and smiled happily.

'Hey Katie girl.  Been to see Billy again?'

Katie nodded and Digby's smile widened.  He was always glad to see Katie, he had no family of his own and having a visitor once in a while was nice.

'What you drawing?'  

He turned the sketchpad round so that she could see it.  On the paper was a picture of Murdock surrounded by trees.  She gave a small smile.

'That's real nice Digby.'

'Thank you.'  Digby carried on drawing.  'He worries about Katie.'  He said keeping his eyes on the paper and the pencil.

'Who does?'  Katie asked.  'You?'

'No, not Digby.  Murdock.'

Katie swallowed.  This was always hard; some of the crazier patients hadn't grasped the concept that Murdock wasn't coming back.  'Murdock's dead Digby.  He doesn't worry about anything anymore.'

Digby shook his head.  'He worries, always worries about his muchacho's.'

Katie decided to leave it.  Digby was obviously having one of his days; she knew that it was pointless arguing with him.  If he believed that Murdock was still alive then he was going to believe it whatever she said.

'How's Katie girl today?'  Digby asked slowly.

'She's not bad.' Katie said referring to herself in the third person.  She often did because that was how Digby referred to himself.

'She still having dreams?'  

'Occasionally.'  Katie admitted softly staring at her hands.

'Digby has dreams.  Murdock speaks to Digby in his dreams.  He says that Katie shouldn't blame herself.'

'Maybe Digby could tell Murdock that Katie is fine.'  She answered wishing that Digby wasn't in one of his moods.

'Digby would but Digby doesn't believe it.'  Digby stopped drawing suddenly.  'Did Digby get it right?'

He showed her the picture.  Katie felt her eyes filling with tears.  'Yeah, he did, he got it just perfect.'

Digby beamed with pleasure and then saw Katie's face.  'It's beautiful.'  She said seeing his worried look.  'He'd love it.'  She reached out and touched the picture, Digby had even included Billy in the background every line was perfect.  He'd copied Murdock so carefully and accurately it was almost unsettling.

'Digby give it to Katie.'  The man handed over the drawing to Katie who smiled and hugged Murdock's friend.  'Thank you Digby.'

'Digby says you're welcome.'

*** 

Katie opened her bedroom door and stepped inside her room.  All around it were photo frames, pictures of her father, and pictures of Murdock.  She could still hear his voice as he'd asked her not to forget him this time around.  Her eyes filled with tears again and she brushed them away angrily.  She was tired of crying, after five months of crying and grieving she wanted to stop feeling this way.  As if she'd lost an important part of herself out there in Mexico.

She sighed and wondered how Hannibal and BA were doing.  BA had been quieter than normal for the past four months, Hannibal no longer smiled and the team had not taken on a mission since Mexico and Murdock's death. She knew that Hannibal was blaming himself, that he felt that his leadership should have been better, that he should have commanded Murdock not to go after Carl on his own.  

She knew that BA thought he should had knocked Murdock out. That he should have refused to let him take his van.   BA hadn't referred to Murdock as 'the crazy fool' since the day he'd died.  He now spoke of him with a kind of reverence and thoughtfulness.  

Face seemed to lose much of his charm, she hadn't seen him smile or flirt with anyone, which was surprising.  She'd thought he'd have been worse than before to try and forget but instead he was quiet. 

All three men seemed to be wandering lost.  She went to see them every week when she could.  She'd talk about Murdock and try to get them to talk about him too.  She was determined that he would be remembered and that his death wouldn't mean that the team would fall apart.  She knew that wasn't what he would have wanted, he'd said as much in his letter.  That he wanted the team to stay together even if he couldn't be there.

It was worse now, the memories, it seemed as if everyday she was remembering something new and every night there would be a dream, Murdock haunted her day and night.  She could close her eyes and recall every detail of him so clearly, she could remember the way he used to smile, that child-like smile he'd get on his face sometimes and that wide grin that made it impossible not to smile back.  She could remember the deep brown of his eyes, the faded Da Nang jacket with the tiger's head on the back and she could remember the way his eyes danced when he talked about flying.  She could remember the look on his face when he'd told her that he would protect her whatever happened, she hadn't expected him to give his life for her.  She hadn't expected him to die.

Sometimes it hurt so bad there was nothing else.  She would remember the feel of the gun in her hand, see the shots slamming into Carl's body, sometimes in her dreams those bullets tore Murdock apart instead of Carl.  Now the world seemed devoid of colour, there was only black and white, no green, no blue, the colours of the rainbow had leaked away.  The only colour left was red, red like blood, like the blood that had stained her hands as his bloody hands reached for hers, sometimes she would look down and see her clothes streaked with his blood.  Those were the times when she wondered if she was truly losing her mind.  As if now that the world had lost one crazy person they needed another to take his place.

She took out the picture of Murdock that Digby had drawn and pinned it to her wall along with the others.  There was something about that picture, a kind of peace to it as if he was happy wherever he was.  She hoped that he was with her father now and that he no longer felt guilty for Tony's death.  Strange he had felt guilty for her father's death even though he hadn't killed him and now she felt guilty for Murdock's death even though she had not wielded knife that took his life away.  Only now did she understand what he had meant by that and how he had felt.

She crawled into bed and closed her eyes.  She felt exhausted, she always seemed to be tired these days.  Sleep claimed her quickly and in its folds there was no pain, no guilt and no remorse.

*** 

Face stared into space, there was a picture on the wall, a picture of some garden; he used to like looking at that picture.  But not anymore.  These days he hardly saw it, he seemed to be moving around and living his life in a kind of monotonous sequence of events.  Nothing seemed to hold any interest for him anymore, not even scamming, he was still in the same apartment as he had been since Murdock had died.  He couldn't find the energy to scam another place to live, he knew he'd have to move out sometime before the real owner returned but it no longer seemed important.  The only thing that offered any comfort was a bottle.  The alcohol soothed him but it couldn't cleanse his wounds totally, the only thing that would do that would be for Murdock to be alive and well.  

He closed his eyes as he thought of the pilot.  It was too hard to think about him, he supposed it would get easier but right now it seemed as if he would just carry on existing in this strange half-life where he went about his everyday routines automatically because he had to and not because he wanted to.  Not even his Corvette could elect any interest from him; it could rust away to a pile of scrape metal for all he cared.  The one thing in his life that had meant anything to him had been brutally stolen from him.  And he played over the events of that day over and over in his mind and still he couldn't find anything that he could have done differently, nothing that would have made a difference anyway.  But that didn't stop him from feeling guilty. Guilt and remorse.  Those seemed to be the only emotions that he was capable of feeling these days.

*** 

Hannibal waited; he had been waiting for four months.  He'd been waiting for Murdock to walk back in that door and for everything to be alright.  Ironic, he out of all of them should have been the one to be strong and keep them together but all his jazz and strength seemed to have vanished in the wake of Murdock's murder.  Time after time he'd led his team into situation after situation that could have meant that one of them would lose their lives.  And time after time, again and again, they'd triumphed over the lesser evils that dominated their country.  They'd won out against the odds and survived.  Of course he'd known it would have to happen one day, they couldn't have remained lucky forever but in a small corner of his mind he'd always thought that it would have been he who would die in a blaze of glory, fighting for his men.

He'd given his life for his country and his country had turned around and spat on him.  He'd thrived on helping those people who couldn't help themselves, on doing what always seemed to be the impossible.  But not anymore, not since he'd failed.  He'd failed himself, he'd failed the team and most importantly of all he'd failed Murdock.  He should have been more aware of the pilot's feelings and he should have paid attention to the way Murdock had been getting angrier and angrier.  It should have been obvious that the pilot was going to do something that might endanger his life.

Murdock had hated it that Carl and McNamara had gotten Karen and Katie involved in what he saw as his business.  He'd been furious when Katie had been hurt and then kidnapped by Carl and Hannibal should have seen how close to the edge Murdock had been.  He should have stopped him when he'd taken BA's van and driven off in search of Carl.  But he hadn't, he'd thought that this was one battle that Murdock had to fight himself; that some demons from his past had to be exorcised once and for all.  But he'd been wrong and Murdock had paid the price for Hannibal's failure with his life.

And now, John 'Hannibal' Smith, leader of the notorious A-Team, Colonel in the US Army and the man who should have been holding his men together at this time when they all needed each other, now he was falling apart.

***

BA was tinkering with the van's engine.  This seemed to be the only thing he could do these days.  Sometimes he felt so angry he was afraid of what he might do.  Afraid that he would wake up one morning and find out that in his blind anger he had killed some innocent person.  He missed Murdock and he had never thought it possible that he would miss the pilot's endless chatter, the imaginary friends; the craziness.  But he did, he even missed Murdock jibing at him, trying to make him mad.

And now that Murdock was gone there seemed no more point to anything.  How could there be, if someone as gentle and harmless as Murdock could be taken away from them; what hope was there for the rest of them.  The people out there that lived to hurt others would continue to do just that whether the team were out there trying to stop them or not.  

If Murdock could die then so could the rest of them, they had for so long been under the impression that they were invincible, that no harm could come to them as long as they were together.  That no enemy could defeat them, that they couldn't be killed.  But that was not true, they were human beings and tomorrow it could be him.  He could be next and then who would be here to protect the team.  That was BA's job, to protect them just as it was Hannibal's job to keep them in line.

But now the others were falling apart, Face was listless and slowly slipping further and further away from real life.  Hannibal existed in a state of permanent shock and guilt, refusing to believe that it was real.  The loss of one of their own had been a shock to them all and sometimes it made BA so angry he wished Katie hadn't killed Carl so that he could get him alone and let him see a whole other side to BA Baracus.  A side that not even the team had seen.

Katie, she was too young to have to deal with this.  After the death of her father, Murdock had been everything to her, like a second father and now his death had completely stunned her.  She was afraid of forgetting him, of waking up one morning and not remembering that there had ever been such a person as HM Murdock.  BA understood, sometimes he woke in the dead of night and he couldn't remember what Murdock had looked like, what his voice had sounded like and it would take him a moment to remember.

Too many people had died, one was too many, Murdock hadn't deserved to die and in BA's eyes there was no reason for it. The pilot had never done anything to deserve losing his life like that and even though he could never admit it, BA did miss Murdock and had cared about him like a brother.  But he had to deal with his grief alone as he dealt with everything alone, that was the way he was built, to take what came and deal with it in his own way and in his own time.  No, his wounds would heal but the rest of the team, somehow he had to make sure that Hannibal and Face made it through this.  Somehow he had to find the words to let them know that he understood.


	19. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Katie woke the next morning and made her way to work.  She was working in the same diner where she had met BA, Hannibal and Face all those months ago.  How many months had it been now, three, four? Maybe even five?  How long had Murdock been…gone, she still couldn't even think the word to herself.  

She remembered sitting in the diner and looking at the waitress Candy and promising to herself that she would never turn out that way.  She laughed bitterly to herself, well here she was doing Candy's job.  

She'd been told to leave college, after several months of skipping classes, her teachers had had enough, she wasn't making the grades, she didn't turn up to lectures so, she'd been told in the nicest way possible that maybe she should give up the whole idea of an education.  Katie had accepted it calmly, it had been no big shock, she hadn't been to classes in so long that it had only been a matter of time before they decided enough was enough and took the opportunity to throw her out.

She walked into the diner and put on her apron.  'Hey Katie.'  The greeting came from her friend Linda.

'Hey Lin.' Katie said trying not to sound exhausted, which was exactly how she felt.

'Uh oh, you didn't sleep well last night?'  

Katie just shrugged and turned to the coffee machine.  'Aww come on Katie, you can't keep doing this to yourself, I know you were upset over your friend's death but you got to get on with your life sometime.'

Katie laughed.  'Yeah well I can hardly call this a life can I.' She poured the coffee and tried to dismiss her friend's comments.  Nearly everyday she got the same thing from Linda and then again from her mom when she went home. She could almost guarantee that she'd get the same from Hannibal, BA or Face too if she happened to talk to them.

'Good to see you here Katie.'  Ken her boss said walking out from the back office.  'There's a guy over at table 5, go take his order.'

'Sure thing.'  Katie picked up her order pad but before she could approach the customer, Linda snagged her arm.  

'You lucky thing, he's a real cutie that one, let me take his order, please.' She begged.  'I haven't had a date in nearly a month.'

Katie rolled her eyes.  'Ken asked me to take the order; besides a few moments ago you were telling me to get on with my life.  Maybe I want a date.'

Linda looked at her with sceptic eyes.  'Oh come on, you're happy playing the hermit.'

Katie shook her head. 'No, for once I am gonna take your good, sound advice and seize the day.  Anyway, if I don't like him you can take him his order and make your move.'

Linda nodded.  'Ok but he's real cute, so play fair.'

Katie just gave a tired shrug and walked towards her customer.  The man was sitting with his back to her but an unsettling feeling was making her feel uneasy.  Something about him, the way he was sitting.  She dismissed it, she was exhausted but she had to concentrate on her work not whether or not she knew the customers, her job was to get them food, not analyse them.

Katie walked up to the man and flipped open her order pad. She pasted on a big fake smile and tried to pretend that she loved doing this job.  'What can I get you?'  She took her pencil out of the apron pocket and prepared to take the order.

'I'll have the…' The man's voice trailed off and Katie, who had been keeping her eyes down, finally looked at him when he hesitated.  Murdock stared back, for a moment Katie was sure that the lack of sleep had brought on a hallucination.  She'd gone through a period of seeing his face in everyone she met, she'd thought she'd seen him dozens of times but this was different.  Unless she'd totally lost it, he was actually there, staring right back at her.

He bolted up from his chair and practically ran for the door.  Katie stared numbly after him, knowing instantly that despite the deep tan, the lack of baseball cap or leather jacket or even the fact that he had been speaking without the Texan accent, it had been him.  

She walked to the counter in a daze. 'Katie I didn't want you to scare him away.' Linda said with a groan.

Katie just stared at Linda for a moment not registering what she was saying, not even really hearing her.  Ken was talking to her but all she could concentrate on was the fact that Murdock was alive.  As the full realisation hit her, she tore off her apron and ran for the door.  It had been no hallucination, it had been him.

Out the door, onto the busy street and she had no idea where the hell to start looking.  She ran down the street, trying in vain to spot him amongst the throng of people on their way to work.  He was nowhere to be seen; she stopped. Maybe she had imagined it after all.  Then somebody grabbed her from behind and she was being dragged into an alley.  Panic gripped her and she struggled to get free but she was held fast.

She opened her mouth to scream and a hand clamped down over it, shutting off her cry before it could even be borne from her lips.  'Shhh.' a male voice said in her ear. She lifted her foot and stamped down hard on her attacker's foot.  He gave a grunt of pain and loosened his grip, this gave her the chance to wriggle free and she shoved the man back against the wall, kneed him viciously in the groin, turned and ran.

'Katie, wait!'

Katie stopped short, halfway to the mouth of the alley.  She turned around almost too afraid to hope.  Murdock was on his knees gasping for breath, his face scrunched up in pain.  She could not move, unable to do anything except stand there and gaze at him.  Her head was spinning; she reached out and leant against the wall not having the strength to even support herself.

He got up and with a sharp hiss of pain, walked towards her.  'You're really dangerous you know that?'  He said approaching her, then he pulled her into his arms and held her there.  She buried her face against his chest, smelling the sweat and warmth of him, the life.  He was real, flesh and blood, alive, no ghost.

'Ok.' He said. 'It's ok now.'  He leant against the wall, still holding her.  'Let it go baby, let it go.'  The tears that she'd been holding back, spilled forth and she could do nothing to stop them.  Too much grief and agony was locked up inside her.  He had been gone too long; she'd started to accept that he was dead, it was too big a shock to find out that now he wasn't.  

He slid down the wall, taking her with him and put one hand on the back of her head, his hand stroking her hair gently. She stayed unmoving, afraid that even the tiniest movement would cause him to disappear.  

'Katie.'  He said after a moment.  'You ok?'

She pushed him away from her and stared at him.  'What do you think?'

'I'm sorry.'  He murmured.  

'I'm sorry too, for hurting you.'  She could see the beads of sweat on his brow.

'It's ok; I guess I must have really scared you grabbing you like that.  You might have to carry me home but I'll be fine.  Nothing a little tender loving care wouldn't cure.'  He grinned at her.

She stared at him not answering and he sighed.  'Ok, I guess you have some questions, like what I'm doing here when I'm supposed to be six feet under.'

Katie winced.  'Well let's just say I'm already filing a lawsuit against the hospital for negligence and…' She stopped at the expression on his face.  'What?'

'They didn't make a mistake Katie.'

Katie frowned.  'Ohhh, so I have gone crazy because they told me you were dead.'  The words were out before she had time to think.  In five months she had finally said that word.

'Yeah, about that.  I kind of asked them to.  You want to get a coffee?'

Katie got to her feet and stumbled backwards away from him.  'You…?  You asked them to tell us you were dead?  Why the hell would you want to do something like that?'  She ran her hands through her hair and turned away from him.  'Oh god…' She reached out and grabbed for the wall again but he got there first and caught her before she could collapse.

'Ok I got ya.'

'Let go of me.' She snapped.

'Come on Katie, you've had a shock.  Seeing someone who's supposed to be dead isn't an everyday occurrence.'   He looked her over.  'We need to get you home and get some coffee inside you.  I promise I'll answer all of your questions then.'

Katie tried to push him away again but as soon as he let go of her she swayed unsteadily on her feet.

'You look exhausted.  When was the last time you slept properly?'

Katie gave a sarcastic laugh.  'I don't know, first there were the nightmares and I got so tired of going to sleep and not actually sleeping that I just decided I wasn't going to go to sleep anymore.  So I guess that must have been going on for about, oh, four months now.  I think you can guess what brought that on.'

He looked at her for a moment, his expression unreadable.  'Ok muchacho time to head for home.'  He put an arm around her waist and then winced as he tried to walk.  'Or maybe not, you're a good shot you know that, too darn good.'

'I learn fast.'  She said simply, her head was still reeling, she was overtired and all of a sudden she had too many emotions to deal with.

'Think you could learn to make sure you get the right guy next time?'  He wiped at his eyes where they'd started watering.  'Or maybe someplace a little less sensitive.'

Katie laughed.  'The idea was to hurt Murdock, I didn't know who the hell you were or what you were doing.  You could have been trying to kill me for all I knew.'

'I was trying to make sure I wasn't being followed.'

'Followed? By who?'

'Not right now, let's just get home.'  He straightened up.  'Ok, I think I can actually walk now.  My car's just round the corner.'

'You have a car?  A real one?'

Murdock grinned.  'Yeah a real one, they don't let crazy people and dead people drive or fly which is where fake licences come in but I still managed to get a real car.  I think I did pretty well considering I didn't even have Face's help this time.'

'What about the car? Is that legit?'

'Katie, Katie.  Of course it is, I would never ever do anything illegal, I am a model citizen, a crazy citizen but still….' He saw the look on her face.  'Yeah I stole it, what the owner wasn't using it.'

'And in the meantime you're riding round in a stolen car.'

'Well no, see the thing about dead people is that they don't tend to report their cars as stolen.  Oh there's no need to look at me like that, it wasn't me who killed him muchacho, some other slimeball go there first.'

'You have a lot of explaining to do Murdock.'  Katie said as they walked down the end of the alley.

'Aww don't, you sound like my father.  That is never a good thing.'

'That's alright, you frequently sound like mine.'  She stopped reminding herself that things were different now.  They'd thought him dead for the past four months; she couldn't just pretend it had never happened.  But on the other hand he was right, now was the not the time to talk about that, they could do it when they got home.  Wherever that was.

*** 

Murdock opened the door to his apartment and helped Katie inside.  'Come on muchacho.  Lets get you sat down.'  He led her over to the couch and helped her down.  She laid down instantly and Murdock got a blanket and spread it over her.  He reached over and stroked her hair gently.

'You ok?'  His voice was soft; she could feel herself beginning to fall asleep as his hand rhythmically stroked her hair.

'Yeah.'  She murmured.  'I'm just fine.'  

He reached over and kissed her brow tenderly. 'I'm sorry.' He murmured against her hair.  She didn't answer, couldn't answer, things were feeling too dreamlike.  Part of her was afraid to go to sleep, afraid that on waking she would find that this had all been another dream.  She knew that if she had to open her eyes one more time and find out that he wasn't there it would kill her.

'Get some sleep muchacho.' Murdock said and Katie gave a choked sob. 

'I…I'm scared.' She admitted, closing her eyes.  

'I'm not goin' anywhere.' He told her, taking her hand in his.  'See, I'm here, real as anything.  Real as Billy.  Don't be scared, I won't let anything happen to you.'

She nodded and allowed herself to close her eyes.  For a moment she panicked the same way she always did nowadays.  But his hand squeezed hers and the fear faded.  Ridiculously she felt eight again; he'd stayed with her this way on the evening of the funeral.  She'd be scared of going to sleep then too; finally the thoughts and feelings, which had so far eluded her, had caught up with her.  Suddenly, she'd been terrified of waking up and finding her mother dead too.  But she hadn't wanted to tell her mom that, she hadn't wanted to upset her.  So she'd gone to bed and hadn't been able to sleep, she'd gone downstairs and that was where she'd found him.  Sitting on the back porch, looking at the stars.  

_1970_

Katie crept down the stairs, afraid that the smallest noise would awaken her mother.  She was too scared to go to sleep; she found that her father's death was abruptly too real.  She was afraid that her mother would be next.  But worrying her mother over this was not something she wanted to do.  And her mother would worry, she'd worry that Katie wasn't coping and even if that were true, Katie knew she had to cope.  Her mother needed her to be strong.

_She walked into the kitchen and her breath caught in her throat. The door was open.  She could see a figure silhouetted in the moonlight, for one split second she thought it was her father but then the man inclined his head ever so slightly and she saw that it was Murdock._

_She turned back to go upstairs but he'd obviously heard her. 'Shouldn't you be in bed?'  He didn't sound annoyed or even worried, just curious._

_'I…I couldn't sleep.'  She said quietly turning back and going to stand by him._

_'Yeah don't blame ya muchacho.'  He motioned for her to sit down next to him and she obeyed.  He put an arm round her.  'You ok honey?'_

_She nodded even though it was a lie.  He frowned at her.  'Cos you don't look ok, you look kinda scared.'_

_'I'm not scared.'_

_'You sure? Cos, I mean, if it were me I'd be scared.  I'd be scared that after losing my father, I'd be scared that my mom would be next.  Maybe other people I care about too.'_

_'You would?'_

_Murdock nodded. 'Oh yeah. But see, that's normal, being scared.  Especially when someone you love dies.  See the thing is, even though your daddy died that doesn't mean that your mom is going to die too.'_

_'I…I know that.' She protested.  'He got shot by a big mean sucker called Charlie.'_

_Murdock gave a soft laugh.  'Yeah, kinda.'  He turned serious.  'I'm not going anywhere Katie, neither is your mom.  We're staying right here to look after you.'_

_Katie frowned at him.  'So, does that mean you're going to be my daddy now?'_

_Murdock sighed.  'No…I'm not gonna be your daddy, I'll look after ya but I'm not taking your daddy's place.'  He was quiet for a long moment and she jumped slightly when he spoke again. The sound of his voice was unexpectedly loud in the dead quiet of the night.  'When I was a little bit younger than you, I must have been about five, my mom died.'_

_Katie was quiet listening; she knew he had more to say.  She didn't tell him she was sorry that it had happened, she'd never known his mom and it had happened a long time ago.  Besides Murdock would know that she meant even if she didn't say it._

_He took a deep breath and then carried on.  'I can't remember who it was now, an aunt or my grandmother, someone, they told me that when good people die God puts them up in the sky as a star.  I believed that all my life.'  He mused._

_Katie looked at him expectantly.  'Do you think he made my dad a star?'_

_Murdock looked thoughtful.  'Yeah you know what, I think he did. If anyone deserves that it would be your dad.'  He looked up at the night sky and then pointed.  'See that star over there, the really bright one, next to the moon?'_

_'I see it.'_

_'That's your daddy, that's Tony.'  He sounded close to tears himself.  His hand reached up and stroked her hair absentmindedly._

_Katie gulped close to crying.  Her dad had always stroked her hair, ever since she was little he'd done that when she was upset or scared. 'If you're staying here does that mean you're not going back with Hannibal and the others?'  She asked finally._

_'I…I gotta go Katie.  I'm needed there, but I'm coming back, I promise.  I will come back.  You think you're going to be ok if I leave?'_

_Katie looked at him; she knew that if she said no she wouldn't be ok, he'd stay.  He'd stay and look after her and her mom.  She also knew that wasn't what he wanted, he wanted to go back to the war to fight, he felt he had to go back.  She nearly told him, she nearly gave him the answer that would keep him here forever but she didn't.  _

_'I'll be ok, I got mom to look after me.  And besides, I'm a big girl now, I can take care of myself.' And she knew that it was true, even if he did have to go back she'd be all right, because she'd always know that he was coming home.  _

_*** _

Murdock sat watching Katie sleep.  He knew that soon she'd be awake and she'd want answers to questions he didn't want to hear.  There were things he knew he had to tell her, things he didn't want to tell her.  He didn't know if he could face the look that would be in her eyes when he told her the truth.  He closed his eyes and almost as soon as he did he saw it all happening again.  Felt the blade of the knife…felt the blood spilling out of him, felt himself dying.  He opened his eyes gasping, feeling as if he'd been underwater.   

Getting up he went into the kitchen and with shaking hands he poured himself a glass of water drinking it down in one go.  Then the glass slipped from his hands shattering on the tiled floor, he saw blood pouring from the wound in his stomach.  He closed his eyes tightly.  'It's not real. It's not real.  Not real, not real, not real, not real! Not Real!' He opened his eyes and saw that his t-shirt was completely clean.  There was no blood anywhere.  This was not the first time that this had happened and it probably wouldn't be the last either.  He'd suffered similar hallucinations after coming back from Vietnam.  Part and parcel of being crazy.  Taking a deep breath to calm himself down he cleaned up the broken glass from the floor and then went to check on Katie.  Miraculously he hadn't woken her.

He sat back down and closed his eyes again; almost at once he fell into a deep sleep.

*** 

_FIVE MONTHS EARLIER_

Murdock lay in the back of the van listening to the panicked voices around him.  Katie was squeezing his hand but he could barely feel it.  He was aware only of the cold fire in his belly, it still felt as if the knife was embedded in him even though he'd seen Face pull it out and had felt the pain of the deed.  He felt as if he was drifting along on soft fluffy clouds, ironic he sometimes felt this way on a day when he wasn't busy dying.  A hand touched his shoulder.  

_'Nearly there Murdock.'  Hannibal told him squeezing his shoulder.  'Just hang on now.'  Murdock didn't answer just nodded slightly and turned his head towards Katie, who was staring blankly at the wall._

_'You ok kid?'  He heard Hannibal ask her and there was no answer from her.  Murdock squeezed her hand harder but she still didn't respond.  He saw Face reach out and touch her, saw the startled look in her eyes as she realised that she was being spoken to._

_'Yeah, I'm ok.'  She managed but Murdock could tell from the look on her face and the tone of her voice that she was far from ok.  She was terrified._

_'BA, can you go any faster?'  Face asked in an agitated voice._

_'I'm going as fast as I can man.'  BA answered sounding as unnerved as Face._

_Murdock gave a grunt as BA went over a bump and the van jumped slightly.  'Sorry.'  BA said glancing backwards into the interior of the van._

_Murdock tried to answer but he was finding it difficult to talk now, the pain was getting worse.  His eyes, the only part of him that he seemed able to move at this point, flicked to Katie and he saw that she was crying.  He wished he could give her some words of comfort but everything was getting very hazy._

_'Stay with us Captain.'  Hannibal said. 'That's an order.'_

_'Yeah.'  Katie exclaimed.  'You promised that you'd take me for ice cream.  You promised.'  She sounded almost child-like but he could see the tears in her eyes._

_He swallowed and finally managed to get some words out.  'I will.  I swear I will.  Not leaving you again Chiquita.'_

_'You'd better not ok because…' She stopped talking.  'Just hang on.'_

_'Are we nearly there?'_

_'Not far to go.'  Face said but Murdock knew that his friend had absolutely no idea how far it was to the nearest hospital and Murdock realised that even if they did find one they could well run the risk of being arrested and thrown into jail.  But he knew that it was futile to insist that they leave, he understood that they wouldn't leave him like this.  That was the way it worked.  Always stay with your unit and never leave a friend behind.  He closed his eyes and stopped fighting; he was too tired to carry on battling the pain and the dark.  He let the darkness take over.  _

_***_

_Later he awoke cold and feeling as if someone had been trying to turn him inside out.  A face moved into view, a young woman, pretty.  And there was the sound of a man's voice._

_'How is he Doctor?'  _

_Murdock thought he recognised the voice but couldn't place it.  The nurse moved away.  'He's awake sir.  This is highly irregular.  I want to move him to the Intensive Care Unit as soon as possible.  I don't know what you want with him but he's a very sick man.'_

_'Doctor if you value your life and those of the people in this hospital you will allow me to do exactly what I want to do and not interfere.  I believe the gun speaks for itself.'_

_Now Murdock realised who was speaking.  McNamara._

_'Understood sir.'  The woman was clearly an American but Murdock doubted that the team would have been able to get him across the border and into a United States hospital. He heard her say something in Mexican and then another woman leaned over him and gave him a shot._

_Now McNamara's face loomed over him.  'Well Captain, we meet again.'  He smirked.  'I'm impressed; the wound that Carl gave you could have been far more serious.  You're lucky to be alive.  Now I have a proposition for you and I suggest you take it if you want the people of this hospital, your friends included, to survive.  My friend here has a gun trained on the pretty doctor who saved your life.  I'm sure you'll want her to remain unhurt.'_

_'What do you want?'  Murdock asked still feeling fuzzy but that could just have been the painkillers they'd given him._

_'I need a pilot, I have goods that need transporting and you did offer your services to me. We had a contract remember, you're services if I didn't hurt the girl.' McNamara smiled.  'And besides Katherine killed Carl and I'm sure the police would be very interested to know that as well as the fact that I know where the illustrious A-Team are.  They'd be back in Fort Bragg before you could blink and believe you me Captain; this time there would be no escaping no matter what they tried.  Katherine would be put in prison too, a nasty place for a lovely young girl like her.  I am sure you wouldn't want any of that to happen now would you.'_

_Murdock gritted his teeth and wished he were feeling better.  He needed to be able to think with a clear head and his head was anything but right now.  'I'm not really in any condition to be flying anywhere and what makes you think that the team wouldn't come after me.  They did it once already.'_

_McNamara laughed again.  'That, Murdock, is simple.  The kind doctors and nurses of this hospital will tell them that you are dead.  Then they will have no reason to come looking for you will they?'_

_'They'll never buy it.  Hannibal especially.'  Murdock argued feeling panic begin to creep up on him._

_'Captain how can they deny what they see with their own eyes?  The doctor will give you an injection so that for a certain amount of time you will be effectively dead.  All body functions will cease.  Doctor?'_

_The woman sighed.  'Yes it is possible.  You would only appear to be dead for a short time, long enough for them to buy the façade.  An hour maximum, any longer than that and we run the risk of brain damage.  But I would advise against it, he's weak and lost a lot of blood.  If we do this it could well kill him.  And this drug has only been developed fairly recently, how you knew about it is beyond me.'_

_'How I knew of it is none of your concern Doctor.'  McNamara said in an icy tone._

_Murdock closed his eyes and thought.  He thought of the guys in prison again, maybe they would escape; they were all able to look after themselves.  Even Face who hated to be pinned to one place for too long.  But Katie? If they put her in prison there was no way she would survive in a place like that.  There was no way of proving that she had shot Carl in self-defence.  There was only his word for it and they would never take the testimony of a crazy man as valid evidence.  She was as good as dead if they locked her up._

_'So say they buy it.  I've just been stabbed I really don't think I'll be flying anything anywhere for a while.'_

_'Captain, with a couple of days to keep our heads down and for you to rest, I'm sure that you can recover enough to fly us where we need to go.  From what I've heard you're an exceptional pilot.  According to Carl anyway.'_

_Murdock sighed deeply.  'Ok, whatever you say just so long as you promise they'll be safe.  Katie especially, if I find out that you've hurt her then knife wound or no knife wound I will hunt you down and kill you. Got it?'_

_McNamara smiled, evidently amused.  'Understood Captain.  So I take it we have a deal.'_

_Murdock nodded. 'Yeah we have a deal.'  _

_'Good. I'll make the preparations at once.'_

_Murdock, feeling the drugs begin take over, closed his eyes again and let himself fall asleep._

_He never knew when they gave him the drug that would make it seem as if he was dead.  He wasn't aware of anything until he awoke in an ambulance driven by McNamara.  _


	20. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Katie opened her eyes and saw Murdock watching her intently.  'What?' She asked irritably although she was glad to see him there.  She'd been afraid that she would wake to find that this had been another dream.

'You hungry?'  He asked.  'I can order us a pizza.'

Katie shrugged.  'I'm ok.'

Murdock frowned at that.  'Are you sure?  You haven't had anything to eat since this morning; it's 7.30 now.  I'm starving.'

'I'm fine really.  Go ahead, order a pizza if you're hungry.'

Murdock frowned again and eyed her closely.  'Did you even eat breakfast?'

Katie stared at him and decided against arguing.  'Ok I guess I could manage a couple of slices.'

He smiled and reached for the phone.  Katie got up and went into the kitchen; she saw a few fragments of glass on the floor and wondered what had happened.

She found a glass in one of the cupboards and poured some water.  She walked back into the living room with it, looking around the apartment with interest.  There were little things here and there that were so obviously Murdock.  The whole apartment screamed at her that he was really here and alive.

'You all right?'  He asked as she came back into the room and he put the phone down.

'Sure just thirsty.'  She realised that she felt almost uncomfortable around him now, probably something to do with the fact that the last time she'd seen him he'd been dead.  There was so much she wanted to ask him, where he'd been for the last few months, why he was alive now when he should have been dead.  But he seemed almost as awkward around her as she was around him and he certainly didn't seem to be in the mood for answering questions.

'You know it's weird hearing you talk like that.'  She said finally unable to bear the awkward silence that hung between them.

'Like what?'

'Without the accent.  I just…I've heard that all my life and then you're talking without it and you could be a different person.'

He laughed softly.  'You know I hadn't even noticed.  There is that better?'  His tone deepened taking on a rawer edge.

She smiled lightly.  'Sorry just weird that was all, yeah that is better.'

'It's ok, guess I got so used to talking without it.'

She knew then that she had to ask the question, that she couldn't hold it off any longer.  'What happened? Where did you go?  Why are you back?'  It all came out in a rush.  'I…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.  It's none of my business.'  She got to her feet suddenly and he rose too.

'No it's ok.  They're all fair questions and you deserve an honest answer.  I mean you came back here and you've trusted me.  I couldn't ask for much more than that.  After all I've put you through I should at least give you the truth.  Sit down.'

Katie sat feeling suddenly as if she wanted to run.  She was finally getting what she wanted and she wasn't sure if she could take it.

'I…uh, it wasn't an easy choice.  But to be honest there wasn't any other choice than that one.  Not if I didn't want people to end up dead or in prison.'  He sighed and smoothed back his hair.  'I woke up in the hospital and McNamara was there.'  He saw Katie stiffen but continued on.  'He made me an offer I couldn't refuse.  He had guns on all the doctors and nurses there and he wasn't alone.  He brought some of his goons with him.  He needed a pilot, I was the only pilot he could get and he had me in a corner.'  He paused for a moment, aware that what he was about to tell her would hurt her, the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel guilty but he knew that he had to tell her everything, he had to tell somebody.  'He said that he'd see the guys ended up in prison and…you too for killing Carl.'

Katie's head shot up.  'Me?'

'Yeah, you.  And I couldn't do it; even if he was bluffing I couldn't do it.  There was no proof that you shot him in self- defence and I was the only witness.  And I know that they sure as heck wouldn't have believed me.'

'Are…are you saying that you faked your death because of me?'  She swallowed hard unsure if she could hear the answer.

'No, I'm saying it was a factor.  Like putting the guys away was a factor but the biggest one was the fact that he'd start killing people if I didn't do what he asked.'

'I…I always wondered why they never questioned me about the prints on the gun.  Why no one ever asked any questions.  Did McNamara just make that go away?'

Murdock frowned.  'Katie they'd have needed the gun to get any prints, McNamara didn't know that I gave…' He stopped and realised that Face hadn't told her, she didn't know.

'That you gave what? What did you do?'  There was a touch of trepidation in her voice.

'I gave Face the gun, told him to get rid of it.  I have no idea what he did with it but I made sure that they'd never connect you with Carl's death.'  Katie sat there stunned as this information sunk in.  She'd never really thought about what might have happened if the police had suspected that she'd been the one to kill Carl but now she realised that she could easily have ended up in prison for it if they had been able to prove that she'd done it in cold blood. 

'Oh my god.'  She whispered.  'You, you saved my life.  If they'd have found…' Her voice trailed off unable to speak the thought.  Her mind struggled to absorb what she was being told, she began to shake as she realised what might have happened to her, what her life could have been like right now if Murdock hadn't have made Face take that gun.

Murdock reached out and squeezed her hand.  She didn't look at him, choosing instead to look straight ahead so that he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.  'Why?'  She asked in a choked voice.  'Why did you do that for me?'

'Because I promised you and your daddy that I wouldn't let anything happen to you and I don't break my promises muchacho.  You know that.'

'You left.'  She whispered finally able to voice her true feelings.  'You said you wouldn't but you did.  You left me again and this time…' She shook her head.  'Oh god you have no idea what these past months have been like for me, you really don't.  I thought you were dead goddamn it!  I thought I'd lost the last thing I had.  I spent a whole month crying, that was all I did, there was a time when I thought I was never going to stop crying, I thought that all I was going to feel for the rest of my life was this razor-sharp pain that would never go away.  I felt like I was dying, you're sitting here next to me, alive and I can still feel it.  I still feel like I'm dying.'

His hand squeezed hers once more and he swallowed.  'It's going to be ok, I promise.'

She looked at him with grief-stricken eyes.  'I saw you dead.  How is that possible, I saw you lying there….' She couldn't finish the sentence; the memory was too strong for her.  'How could you…?' She felt sick at the thought.  'How is that even possible?'

'Some kind of drug that they gave me, knocked me out for about an hour made it seem as if I was dead.  I'm sorry Katie but I had no other choice.  I had to do what he said for all of you.'

'So you just went with him, you just walked out on us like that?'  Those tears threatened to fall again, after five months she'd just about managed to restrain them and here he was again shattering every ounce of the self-control she'd finally been able maintain.

She buried her head in her hands for a moment unable to even look at him.  'Oh god.'  Her head was spinning with everything he was telling her.  'I can't believe this, I just can't…I have… _we_ have spent the last five months walking around thinking that you were never coming back and now…now you're here.  And I just can't seem to take it all in.'

'Katie, I know it's hard.'  He'd moved to sit beside him.

She shook her head.  'You have no idea just how hard.  Do the guys know that you're back?'

'No, not yet.'

Katie was confused.  'Why not?  I'd have thought they'd be the first people you'd tell.'

Murdock shrugged.  'They don't need me walking back into their lives like this.  I'm sure they're fine.'

Katie stared at him unable to comprehend what he was saying.  She felt like slapping him for his attitude.  'Excuse me?'  She gave a sceptic laugh.  'You…' She stopped words failing her; she was beginning to feel angry. She fought down the urge to ask him whether he'd left his brains behind in whatever country McNamara had packed him off to.  'You think that they don't want to know that you're alive?'

'I didn't say that, I said they didn't need me just appearing again as if nothing had happened.'

'Oh I see, so I'm a basket case then am I? I need you just turning up out of the blue?'

'That's not what I meant.'

'Then what did you mean because I'm having a hard understanding you, in fact I'm having a hard time understanding any of this.'  She said.

'I deserted them, that's what it amounts to Katie, I walked out on them.  That's not something that's easily forgiven.  I know I wouldn't just let it go if I were in their place.'

'So tell them, tell them why you felt you had to do this.  They deserve the truth; all they've ever done is care about you and helped you.  The least you can do is to be straight with them.'

'Yeah but it's not as easy as that.'

 'Oh my god, you weren't going to come back were you.'  Realisation hit her and she knew from the look on his face that she'd hit the mark.  He hadn't been going to come back.

'I…I wasn't sure what was the right thing to do.  It might have been better for all of you if you thought I was still dead.'

'You're just scared.' She said. 'You're scared that they'll hate you for leaving so you figure why come back to get yelled at, why not just cut your losses and stay the hell away.  Because that way you don't have to get hurt do you. I never thought I would say this but you are a coward, you really are.  What happened today was an accident and if I hadn't seen you by accident then you would never have let us know, would you?'

Murdock shrugged.  'Katie I don't know…'

'Yes you do, you had no choice but to tell me today.  When you said there were people looking for you, you didn't mean McNamara did you?  You meant the guys; you didn't want someone seeing you were back and telling the guys.   God Murdock I have played this moment over in my head so many times.  What it would be like if you came back, if this was all some horrible mistake and of all the ways I'd ever thought this would go, I never thought it would be like this.  But then I've always been that way, I was convinced that my dad was coming back too, that he was away on some secret mission and had to tell us that he was dead, that someday he'd walk back into our lives and everything would be ok again.  Maybe the whole time I was kidding myself like I kidded myself back then, making you out to be something you're not, a person I respect.  Because I sure as hell don't respect the person I'm seeing right now.'

'Katie.'  He took a deep breath. 'I went away to save your life, your life and theirs.  If I'd have stuck around I don't know what would have happened but it wouldn't have been anything good.  You have to trust me on that.'

'How can I trust you?'  She pleaded.  'You lied to us and you don't seem to care.'

'I care! Of course I care.  Look at the state of you. What the hell have the guys have been doing?  Why have they let you get like this?  They knew that if anything happened to me that I would want them to watch out for you.'

'They're not much better themselves, we're all still in a kind of shock.'

'Oh is that why you're yelling at me?'  

The question surprised her for it's calmness as much as for anything else and she didn't answer.  Murdock nodded slowly.  'I see.'  He said softly.  'My coming back _is_a shock for you isn't it, of course it is and the only way you can deal with that is by yelling at me.  Classic human behaviour, anything we can't deal with we either cry or we start yelling.  Somehow hurting the people we love seems to be something we just can't help doing.'

'Don't you dare start psychoanalysing me Murdock!  I've had enough of that from the doctors, the last I need is for you to start doing it too.'

'Anger is one way of dealing with the emotions we can't express.'

'Shut up.'  She snapped the words out afraid of what he might say.

He carried on as if she hadn't spoken.  'See you've been blaming yourself this whole time haven't you?  The same way you thought you were to blame for your dad not coming back when you were a kid.'

'This is different.'

'Yes because this time you actually did kill someone.'

'Stop it.'

'No.' Murdock said quietly, calmly and very unlike the man that she knew. 'No, I won't stop it because for the first time in five months someone has actually come out and said what it is that you've been thinking all this time.'

'You don't know what I've been thinking you weren't here.'  She was getting angrier and angrier.  'Where the hell were you when I felt I was dying, where were you when the nightmares came and I was scared in the dark?  Huh?  You weren't here were you?  You were off on some island getting a tan! Why did you bother coming back, why the hell didn't you stay there!'  She put a hand to her mouth; she'd said too much and she knew she could never take back those words.  They were said and could not be unsaid.  She made to get up, to leave but he'd grabbed her arm.

'Katie…'

'Let go, please.'  She'd had enough, nothing was going the way she'd wanted it too.  It was all going wrong.

'Katie.'  This time his tone was softer, gentler than before and he pulled her into a hug.

'That's better.'  He murmured in her ear as her tears began to fall and she knew he'd made her angry on purpose, because he did know exactly what she was going through and he knew she'd been keeping it inside for far too long.


	21. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

Katie opened the front door and stepped inside her house.  The house was silent, no sign that anyone was home.  'Mom?'  She called out but no reply came, her mother was probably still at work.  Katie motioned for Murdock to enter and he did so hesitantly.  He'd offered her a ride home and she'd accepted, the thought of going back to an empty house after all that had happened didn't appeal to her.

She put her keys down and went into the kitchen.  'You want a drink?'  She asked him and he nodded.  As she set about making coffee, he walked around the living room.  It was a very different room to the one that he'd seen when he'd come back here five months before.  For one thing there were things missing that he had a feeling had belonged to Eddie, he was glad to see that there was no trace of that pathetic little weasel left in the house.

What he was surprised to see were pictures, photographs.  Some were of Tony but a lot of them were of himself.  Everywhere he looked there was a photo of him.  He stared round; it touched him deeply to see that she seemed determined not to forget him.

'Coffee's ready.'  Katie held out a mug to him.

'Thanks.' He murmured taking it.  'You didn't microwave this did ya?'

She looked at him strangely.  'No, I didn't, I don't know how you make your coffee but I do it the way everyone else does.'

'Good.'

Katie frowned and then looked behind him.  'Oh.'  She said softly realising that this wasn't him being crazy it was him not sure of what to say because what he really wanted to say, he couldn't. 'You noticed.' She made a motion with her hand, indicating the pictures on the walls.

'Kinda hard not to.'  He said softly sitting down and stretching out his legs.

'I, uh, I didn't want it to be like last time.  I didn't want to forget this time around.'

A smile touched his lips and she felt glad to see it.  It was a sign that the Murdock she knew hadn't gone for good; he was still in there somewhere.  Different to how he had been but still there.  A thought occurred to her.  'Stay there.'  She said and left the room.  

Murdock watched her go curiously.  He looked around the room again, looking at the pictures more closely, smiling at some of the memories.  He remembered thinking that he'd have to take Katie flying after they'd rescued Karen.  He decided that he would still do that.  

There was the sound of a key turning in the lock and the front door opened.  'Katie, I'm home honey.  Sorry I'm late I was…' She broke off as she saw Murdock standing in the living room.  The bags she was carrying dropped from her grasp and her hands went to her mouth as a gasp escaped her lips.

'Karen, I…' He couldn't think of what to say, he could only stand there stupidly, feeling an even stupider grin on his face but unable to do anything about it.

Karen walked towards him.  She reached up and touched his cheek and then promptly burst into tears.  He put his arms around her.  'It's ok.'  He murmured not sure what he should say to her.

Katie came into the room at that moment and saw her mother.  'Oh god.'  She said.  She was holding a bundle of papers in her hand; she put them down on the chair and came forward.  'Let's sit her down Murdock.  I'll get her some tea.'

'You're…you're…' Karen stammered.

'Yeah, I guess I am.'  Murdock said, leading her to the sofa and sitting her down.  'Don't worry I'm not a ghost or anything.  See.' He pinched her gently.

Karen blinked at him and then a smile curved about her lips. 'You're here?  You're actually here?  But…you were, Hannibal said…Katie…' Murdock held her hand as she tried to make sense of everything.

'I'll explain it all later Karen.  But I'm fine and yes, I'm really here.'  He smiled and Karen burst into tears again.

'Aww don't cry.  You're gonna get me going.'  Murdock said putting an arm around her shoulders.  He leaned her head on his shoulder.  

Karen wiped her eyes. 'Sorry.' She told him. 'It's just such a shock, seeing you here like this.  How long have you been in town?'

'A few days.' He replied, taking the tea from Katie as she brought it in from the kitchen.  'Here drink this, make you feel better.'

Karen laughed.  'I'm feeling a lot better than I have in months.'  She motioned for her daughter to sit beside her and Katie did so.  'I can't believe that Hannibal didn't tell me that this…'

'He doesn't know Karen.  None of them know yet.'

'I see.'  Karen said quietly and then looked at her daughter. 'Are you ok sweetheart?'

'I'm fine mom.'  But Karen gave her a sceptic look, which confirmed Murdock's suspensions that Katie hadn't been fine in a long time.  There was a knock at the door and Katie rose.  

'I'll get it.'  Murdock saw the look on her face and instantly knew who was there.  He got up and followed her out of the room and out of Karen's hearing.

'You called him.'  He said flatly.

'Who?'  Katie asked nonchalantly, reaching to open the door.  Murdock blocked her way.

'You called Hannibal, you told him to come here as soon as he could.'

Katie shifted uncomfortably.  'I have to open the door.'

'Didn't you?'  There was a sense of urgency in his voice and Katie looked at him quietly.  

'They have a right to know Murdock.  You'll understand that when you see them.'

'I can't, not yet.'  The pilot's voice was edgy, almost afraid and Katie gave him a sympathetic look.

'You can't hide from them forever.'

'Katie if they find me here it's only a matter of time before other people do.  You know what that means apart from some very awkward questions.  Come on muchacho what do you think they'll do when they find I'm back?  The first thing they'll do is put me back in the VA.'

Katie pushed past him and opened the door.  Hannibal, Face and BA stared at her.  'What was the urgency Anderson?'  Hannibal asked in a brisk tone of voice indicating that he didn't really want to be here.  Murdock had vanished back to the living room and Katie felt nervous suddenly, what if this went wrong.

'I think you should all come in.' Katie held the door open and they all walked through into the living room.  Face was first in the door and she saw him come to a complete stop as he saw Murdock.  BA practically shoved him out the way to see what it was that held Face to the spot.  Hannibal was the last one to enter the room and Katie slipped past him to her mother's side.

Karen put her arms around her daughter and waited to see Murdock reaction.  He was staring at the three men in a kind of daze.  They stared back at him and for a long time no one spoke and then Face finally seemed to snap out of it.  He gave a choked sob and walked forward to hug Murdock.  Murdock embraced his friend back unsure of what to think of the rare display of affection.  And then Hannibal and BA were moving forward too and even BA wrapped him in a big bear hug.

As they pulled away Katie couldn't take it anymore she turned and ran up the stairs to her room, the emotions of the four men too much for her.  Murdock saw her go and made to go after her but Face stopped him.  'I'll go.'  He said and Murdock felt a stab at the painful reminder that things were different now.  Face was now the one to give her the comfort she needed.  He nodded and Face walked up the stairs after her.

She was standing with her back to the door and Face didn't even bother knocking just walked into the room.  Almost at once she turned to look at him and he could tell by the expression on her face that she'd been expecting, hoping, that it was Murdock.  Face pulled her towards him and held her close.  'I know.'  He said.  'I know.'

Katie gulped, determined that she'd done enough crying for one day.  'I'm sorry it was all too much.  I only found out today and everything's

 still confused.'  

Face nodded and then turned slightly as he heard a movement from behind him.  Murdock was standing in the doorway; he'd been unable to stay downstairs.  Face nodded towards him and Murdock walked towards them.  Face gently let Katie go and Murdock put his arms around her.  Face turned and walked out of the room and back downstairs to the others.

Katie stayed still for a long moment, unable to speak or move.  'Ohh honey.'  Murdock said finally.  'This is a lot for you to take isn't it?' As usual he knew exactly what she was thinking.  Murdock had always had that uncanny knack of knowing what people were feeling, even if they didn't know it themselves.  He rubbed her back soothingly.  'Are you going to be ok?'

'I'm ok.  Are you ok?'  She asked and he laughed.

'Well so long as the big guy doesn't slug me for leaving I should be fine.'  He sighed.  'Guess I've got some explaining to do.  Want to give me a hand?'

She pulled away and looked at him.  'You know what, I think that I need some time alone.  I might just sleep.'

He looked at her concerned for a moment and then saw that she was serious about sleeping.  'Ok.'  His eyes twinkled.  'Now if you need a bedtime story, there's a fabulous one about the Range Rider.'

She laughed.  'I think I can get by without thank you.'

'Ok night.' He kissed her forehead.

She smiled at him.  'Night.'

'See you in the morning kid.' Murdock said grinning and then he left the room whistling.


	22. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

Katie sat on the back porch looking at the stars.  She'd managed to get a few hours sleep before waking but for the first time in months it hadn't been a nightmare that had woken her.  She gazed at the stars and then became aware of a movement behind her.  But she knew who it was.

'Shouldn't you be in bed?' She asked wryly.

'I couldn't sleep.'  Murdock answered and she was reminded of that time nearly 14 years ago when they had sat out under these very stars the night of her father's funeral.  

He sat down beside her and put an arm around the same as he had done all those years ago.  He sighed deeply.  'Well you've grown up since the last time we did this.  I mean now you've got boyfriends and everything.  Who'd better be treating you right by the way.'

Katie laughed at his protectiveness.   He continued. 'I guess I got older too.  Look at you; you're a woman now.  He'd be proud of the way you turned out you know.  You would be everything he ever wanted for a daughter.'  He kissed her forehead gently.  'Everything I'd ever want to.'

She was taken aback by the way he was talking.  She'd known that he'd cared but he'd never really talked about it.  It seemed things were different now.  It was the first time he'd ever admitted to her that he thought of her as his own.

'I made a promise to your dad that I'd look after you.'  Murdock said. 'Like one of my own.  Guess sometimes I like to think you are my kid.  I mean I know you're not but it'd be nice just to think that I could have a kid like you.  Not much chance of that happening now.'

'You're going back to the VA.'  She said quietly understanding that he was trying to say goodbye.

'Yeah but you can come visit me.'  

She rested her head on his shoulder. 'Do you want me to?'

He looked at her.  'Course I want you to!  I owe you ice cream and I promised myself that I'd take you flying for real.  And I hate breaking promises especially ones that I make with myself because then I get annoyed with me and that's not pretty.'

Katie laughed softly and then turned serious.  'How were they?'  She asked.

Murdock sighed. 'You were right they haven't been coping.  They were ok, emotional, Face was kinda angry but I think that will pass.  I told them what happened; all of it and you were right about that too, they did understand.  I mean as much as they could ever understand but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.'  He looked down at his hands and she knew what was coming next.  'Face and I had a talk.'  He exhaled deeply.  'I guess this was harder on you than I'd thought.'

Katie didn't answer and Murdock decided it was safe to continue. 'He told me about the dreams, well he told me pretty much everything.'

Katie snorted.  'Like what, how I fell apart?'

'Yeah, I know he's not so great himself, I could see it in his eyes but he was worried about you.  He's not the only one.  They all are and I am too.'

She looked away not wanting to have this discussion.  'I'm ok.'

'No, you're not that's the whole point.  Listen, Facey may have been rough these past few months but he's still been together enough to do some scamming.'  He reached into his jacket, Face had given it back to him that evening, and pulled out some papers.  He flipped through them.  'Want to tell me about those hallucinations of yours?'

She turned to look at him instantly.  'What?'  She snatched the papers from his hands.  'This is confidential information!'

'Not to Templeton Peck your doctor its not.'

'Face is not my doctor and you have no right to be reading this!'

'Yeah but they don't know that.'  He took the papers back. 'And would you have told me if he hadn't shown me these?  He's been keeping tabs on you ever since you started these appointments with Jamison.'

'Well congratulate him for me on successfully finding another person crazy.  I hear he's good with that particular diagnosis.'

'Hey!'  He grabbed her arm.  'He was worried about you and from what I hear he had good reason to be.'  He was quiet for a moment. 'Just because you killed Carl doesn't make you a murderer and it certainly didn't mean you were responsible for anything that happened to me.'

'I was right there.'  She argued. 'I could have stopped it and I didn't…I should have done something, anything.'

Murdock shook his head and gave a frustrated sigh. 'I can see I'm not getting through to you. Fine.'  He got to his feet, pulled her to her feet and yanked her into the house.  He handed her the phone.  'There you go you'd better call the police.  Tell them you're a murderer.  Make everything I went away for, pretended to die for, make that all worthless.  And while you're at it you'd better tell them to arrest me too for killing your father!'

She stared at him and he stared right back.  'How'd you feel when you shot him Katie? Huh?  When those bullets slammed into him?'  He saw her flinch but made himself continue.  'When you took his life away how'd you feel?  Did it feel good to know you'd ended someone's life just by pulling a trigger?'  He made the sound of a gun.  'Boom…there we are another life gone.  Bet it felt real good didn't it.'

Katie shook her head. 'No.' She whispered. 

'What? I can't hear you.'

'I said no. Ok? It didn't feel good it was horrible.  I know he was a bad person, I know he killed people and I know he was responsible for my dad's death but he was still a human being and I had no right to play God.'

Murdock relaxed and touched her arm.  'Don't you see? You feel remorse, guilt for killing him.  A murderer, a real killer, doesn't. They get off on it, it feels good and they don't care about the fact that it was a human being they've just killed.  They don't feel sick to their stomach; they don't feel as if a part of them died with the person they've just killed.  Katie, I've killed people before and I can tell you that it is one of those things that just gets easier the more you do it.  But I tell you that of all those people that I had to kill; there is not one that I don't regret, not any of them.  Not even the ones that I saw raping women and children, even those I didn't really want to kill.  I know real killers, I've seen them and you are not one, baby, you're not.'

She swallowed hard. 'It doesn't feel that way.'

He nodded. 'I know and you're going to remember that for the rest of your life.  You'll always remember the way it felt to kill someone but you'll always remember the way you feel right now and that is what will pull you through.  Because you know that you don't hold the right to decide between life and death.  You'll know that it isn't good, you'll know that it's dirty and ugly and if you're real lucky you won't ever have to do it again.'

She looked at him realising that this was the closest he would ever come to telling her about the things he'd seen and done in Vietnam.  And she knew that for all that Face had done for her these past few months nothing could compare to what she knew she had needed from Murdock.  She had needed someone to look at her and know exactly what she was going through without having to ask what she was feeling or how she was coping.  She'd needed someone who wasn't afraid that she would fall apart if they told her what was wrong with her.  

He took the phone from her.  'You believe me now?'

Katie nodded but he still looked at her questioningly.  'And what about me?  You still think you were responsible for that too?'

Katie didn't answer that; she couldn't tell him that she didn't feel responsible for it because she did.

'You do realise that you saved my life don't you? Huh muchacho?  I owe you a big giant one.' He held up his index finger.  'Two in fact if you count the fact that you shooting him made him miss his shot.  How'd you manage to hit him anyway?  You've not even used a gun properly.'

'I had a boyfriend, you know, one of those that should be treating me properly?  Well his dad owned a gun club, he taught me how to fire a gun and I've still got my membership.  I was still practicing.  Haven't touched a gun since though.  Couldn't bring myself to.'

He nodded and walked back out to the porch. 'Don't blame you.'  He stared out into the night leaning against the doorframe.  

'What made you come back? Did you…?'

'You mean why did I come back if McNamara was blackmailing me?'

'Yeah, I presume you've told the guys everything, you said you had but you've left stuff out haven't you? Things you've told them but don't want to tell me.'

Murdock gave a low laugh.  'Just like Tony.  Some days you're so like him it doesn't seem possible.  McNamara is dead but I wasn't the one who killed him.  Some guys decided they didn't like him muscling in on their territory, was bound to happen sooner or later.  I hitched a ride on the next plane home.  And then when I was here I looked around and realised that I didn't have a home anymore.  I'd walked out on it.'

'That's not true and you know it.'

Murdock smiled softly and kept his eyes fixed on the inky blackness of the night.

'Maybe I do but at the time I didn't.  But after seeing the guys tonight and after seeing you this morning.  Well…I've got a reason to come back now, for you and them if nothing else.  I've still got that promise I made to your dad and I intend to keep it.'

'I can take care of myself.'

'Can you? That's not what Face said.'  He shrugged.  'I know, I know you're an adult now.  Got to go out on your own and make your way in the world.  But I also know that you can't do that until you've laid some ghosts to rest and by ghosts I mean your dad, Carl and me.'

Katie was silent thinking this over.  'You got to stop blaming yourself Katie, it wasn't your fault.'  Murdock told her in a gentle tone.

'Do you think I'm crazy?'  There she'd asked it, the question she'd wanted to ask since the day he'd walked back into her life five months ago.

Again Murdock laughed and then he shook his head.  He motioned for her to come stand by him.  'No honey, I don't think you're crazy.  I think that you've got Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Jamison's already told you that, he's not lying to you. You went through some very traumatic events over that week; you're finding it hard to cope.  Nothing wrong with that. Look at me like that if you want but Jamison was right, the only way you're going to get past this is to face up to it.  He might be a shrink and you might hate shrinks but he's the best you're gonna get and he's the only one who can give you the help you need.'

Katie nodded and went to stand next to him.  He put his arm around her.  'Jamison's a good guy; he won't hurt you.  I trust him with you.'

Katie nearly laughed at that but decided against it, it was clear that he meant what he said.  Instead she said, 'I found it, your letter.  Thank you, for giving me back those memories.'

He hugged her briefly and then sat down on the stoop, she sat next to him. 'That's ok' he said, 'you were only a kid when he died.  You didn't really know much about him; he wasn't there as often as he'd have liked to have been.  I just wanted to let you know a little about him.  Not a lot, I know.' 

'It was enough.'  

'I wrote that letter after…' He stopped as suddenly as he had begun.

'What? You wrote the letter after what?'

'After your mom came to see me at the VA.  I knew that I might not get a chance to see you again and I didn't want something to happen and then for you not to know.  You deserve to know something of what he was like.'

Katie was confused. 'Wait a minute I don't understand, when did Mom go to see you at the VA?'

Murdock was silent for a long moment and she almost wondered if he'd heard her.  She was about to ask him if he was ok when he spoke.  'She said…she told me to stay away.'

'Stay away? Why? She…' Katie's head was whirling, the stars suddenly seemed over bright and she had to take a breath to calm herself.

'I don't think badly of her for doing it. I was pretty…' He shrugged. 'If it had been me I would have told me to stay away from me too.  I certainly wouldn't have wanted my kid around me, not the state I was in.  She did the right thing.'

'No she didn't.  She didn't even ask me what I wanted.  She just arranged it so that I would…the closest thing I had to a father and…' Murdock touched her shoulder.

'It was for the best muchacho.  I wouldn't have wanted her to see me in that condition, let alone you.  You were still kinda upset over your dad's death and the last thing you needed was that.  Besides I had all the trouble with the guys and the military then, you were best off out of it.'

'I just…I never knew and I would have liked to you know.  Maybe things would have been different then.'

Murdock shook his head.  'No, nothing good could have come out of that. Trust me.  Things worked out right.  Maybe not the way you thought they would but they did work out.  From here on in it's gonna be ok now.' He flashed her a grin. 'I'm back baby.'

A shadow of a smile formed on her lips at that.

She paused for a moment staring up at the stars before finally asking him the question she'd wanted to ask him ever since he'd taken her up in that aeroplane to find her mom.  'Teach me to fly Murdock.'

His whole face lit up.  'For real?'

'Yeah for real.  You were right; I loved it.  Guess that was one thing that my dad gave me.  I want to fly.'

He grinned.  'You got it kiddo.  I'll teach you to fly right side up, upside down, back to front and you will absolutely be able to do a loop the loop with your eyes closed by the time I'm finished.'

She laughed. 'Easy, let me get the basics before you start with the fancy stuff.  I know you've been dying to show off.' She teased him smiling.

'Chiquita, you're going to be taught by the best.'  He said also teasing.

'I know.' She said serious now. 'He always said you were the best pilot he'd ever met.  And he was always right.'

'Yeah he was.  I miss him.' 

Katie stared up at the bright stars for a long moment and then finally she pointed.  'See that star over there, Murdock?'  Murdock followed the line of her hand and nodded. 

'Yeah.'

'That one was you.'

He looked at her startled, the statement so unexpected that he was lost for words.  'Me?'

'Yeah you told me that God put the good ones in the sky as stars, remember?'

'I remember.'

'Well that's where your star was when I thought you were…gone that is.'  

Murdock tilted his head slightly.  'I look good up there.'  He said with a grin.  In the dark she smiled too and gave a low laugh.  He looked at her. 'Say it Katie.'

She looked at him not even bothering to ask what he wanted her to say, she knew.  'I…I can't.  And what does it matter anyway, you're not, you're here.'

Murdock shook his head.  'Cos if you can't say it now that you know it isn't true then  it still bothers you and that means it will always bother you.'

'I can't even think it.'  She protested.

'Say it.' He insisted.  'When you thought I was what Katie?' His tone was becoming more and more insistent.

She looked down at her hands and swallowed hard.  'When I thought you were dead.'  She nearly choked on the word but she managed to get it out, properly this time not in a flash of anger but slowly with time to think about it and what it meant.  'I thought you were dead.'

He pulled her close for a moment as he had done on that night so many years ago and then he let her go.

Katie stared out at the dark.  'Murdock?'  She asked after a moment's silence.

'Yeah?'  

'You're back for good this time right?  You're not going away again.'

'I promise.  I'm not going anywhere for a long time.'  

She rested her head on his shoulder again and they sat there long into the night staring up at the stars as the sky lightened and dawn approached to welcome the birth of a new day.  

THE END


End file.
